Why did you marry him? Internalised misogyny?

28 replies

Xmasbabyxmas · 07/12/2024 15:05

I'm more of a lurker than a regular poster. Please take this post in the spirit it's intended - i.e. a genuine question id like to understand the answer to. I've noticed on a lot of threads on which the OP is seeking advice following some poor behaviour from current or prospective husband, responders pile on with the "why are you marrying / why did you marry him?" line. It reads like dreadful internalised misogyny to me, as if the OP brought this all on entirely herself. Or is it some sort of MN inside joke I'm not getting?

OP posts:

LetsNCagain · 07/12/2024 15:40

It can be a legitimate question, along the lines of "what are his good points?" Or "how did you meet?"
There can be a legitimate answer.
The answer might be, say "he looked after me when I had an operation" or "he worked with my dad". All gives useful context to the relationship

AlisonDonut · 07/12/2024 15:38

OP.

You say you are a lurker.

If you want to give better advice than asking why other people say what they say, you are free to do so.

Why do you lurk and say nothing and then accuse others responders of saying the wrong thing?

Daleksatemyshed · 07/12/2024 15:35

Posters aren't suggesting it's the Ops fault, it's more that they post a litany of things wrong with their relationship but still seem hell bent on marrying the man. That's face it, if he's not much cop before you marry he isn't going to magically improve after. Sometimes the woman posting has got so used to a lazy/selfish partner they need someone to say this isn't a normal state of affairs and you don't just have to accept it

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