How many terfs are out there?

I'm a TERF and finding it really fucking difficult to find spaces for TERFy lesbian/bi women as a late bloomer. I suspect all the women have underground? I'm not even necessarily looking for a relationship, just somewhere where I don't have to keep quiet about agreeing with JKR.

I just did some googling to check exactly when it was that my views started changing. I knew a couple of fairly harmless transwomen in the early 2010s (I never really saw them as women, but was happy to play along as they were clearly people who had been a bit messed up by life), so was generally of the view that we should live and let live, they are not bothering anyone and so on. In 2015 I think I even signed this petition to get a transwoman out of a male prison: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2015/dec/03/transgender-woman-who-was-sent-to-male-prison-is-freed

But then a little while later I read that contrary to what all the publicity at the time seemed to suggest, Tara Hudson was still anatomically male, and advertised himself as an escort with a '7-inch surprise'.

Then came the election of Trump, and the Women's March, and some prominent trans activists described the pink 'pussy hats' as transphobic, because they centred cis-female anatomy. I think that was my WTF moment.

And also around then I think Mermaids were told in no uncertain terms by the judge to butt out of a court case where they were egging on a mother who was insisting her primary aged son was trans, contrary to what he said to his dad, teachers and everyone else.

And not that long after, one of my DD's best friends (autistic, lesbian, geeky etc) started identifying as a boy, which prompted me to take even more of an interest.

The TWAW brigade haven't really looked into things properly.

Example... When I first started ranting speaking to DH about the subject, he was very keen to defend the Trans community. The thing is, he had got it completely wrong. He thought Trans men was the term used for Men that were trans, and said to me that there must be some truth in it because they are born with a cervix (he'd obviously seen something about trans men needing smear tests) Now this is a very intelligent man, but because he was soooo #bekind, he hadn't put any thought into it. I schooled him, but he was still sceptical about the things I told him, so he went away and did his own reading. He came back to me and absolutely agreed with what I said about female spaces/sports belonging to females. He would be just as ignorant today if I hadn't have pushed the subject. How many other people are completely ignorant? There's so much misinformation out there pushing the trans agenda.

I think TRAs have totally shot themselves and / or old school transsexuals in the foot. Until less than 10 years ago I never thought much about people (nearly always men) who’d had ‘sex changes’, indeed never even thought about whether or not they’d had any kind of surgery although I probably assumed they had. I felt kindly towards them because it seemed such a terrible predicament to believe you were ‘trapped in the wrong body’. I never really believed someone could change their actual sex but I was prepared to buy in to a polite fiction. But by trying to push boundaries in sport, single sex spaces, the pressure on young lesbians, etc, they’ve blown all that kind feeling out of the water.

I think this is an important point and one I probably went along with. TRA's are like 'trans women have been using your bathrooms for years'. Yes they have but probably subtly and we probably had sympathy, empathy and kindness for those with a genuine dysphoria.

Now, thanks to Stonewall, TWAW brigade and to be a woman you just have to say so, it's gone too far. Boundaries have been obliterated and it's been a spectacular own goal for the TRA's.

Tunnoks are a clue

I assume the best in people too, and reckon most women my age are TERFs. My mother is the best one, and my beloved late dad was an honorary one. We didn't agree on everything much but bonded over men in women's sport. He'd have definitely voted Trump if he was American

Me too !

I don't know anyone, family and friends, who are not. Although I'm not sure many of the men actually think of themselves as feminists.
Everyone I speak to thinks that men calling themselves women are either trying to exert power over women, edge us out of our places in society, shut us up, negate our experiences, cheat their way into sporting events etc, or indulge in fetishes.

I work in local government and I wouldn’t talk about GC views at work. I have declined to give my pronouns (the one time I was asked) but didn’t say why. My couple of closest friends and I have spoken and share the same views. I haven’t spoken to other friends. My husband is firmly GC and thinks it’s all madness.

Like others who have posted on this thread I do think everyone knows - if you give it some thought it’s obvious to anyone you can’t change sex. And anything you can change (the clothes you wear, your hairstyle, makeup, even taking hormones and having surgery) doesn’t make any difference to which sporting competitions you should be in, which prison you should go to, etc.

I think TRAs have totally shot themselves and / or old school transsexuals in the foot. Until less than 10 years ago I never thought much about people (nearly always men) who’d had ‘sex changes’, indeed never even thought about whether or not they’d had any kind of surgery although I probably assumed they had. I felt kindly towards them because it seemed such a terrible predicament to believe you were ‘trapped in the wrong body’. I never really believed someone could change their actual sex but I was prepared to buy in to a polite fiction. But by trying to push boundaries in sport, single sex spaces, the pressure on young lesbians, etc, they’ve blown all that kind feeling out of the water.

I've just requested to join WRN. Hopefully there is one local to me.

We are everywhere!
Our day will come..( and sooner rather than later)

We need a special handshake or something to identify each other in public.

Some terfs use a dinosaur image to represent terfy credentials (after being called fossils, dinosaurs etc in the past) so I make sure to give a big smile to women wearing dinosaur patterns, earrings etc in case it's for terfy business.

The topic has come up occasionally at work but we don't debate. Someone might mention it, somebody says it's nonsense, we all agree and ... we carry on with our day. It has no traction at all, there is nothing to debate.
I've never met a TWAW at work but I've usually worked in industry, not in captured organisations like education or government / local government.
There are probably more GC than you realise; it's just that you don't see them in your silo.

Recommend joining the Women's Rights Network and/or Let Women Speak.

There are lots of factual books and podcasts but only one overtly GC fictional book I'm aware of which I highly recommend for anyone who enjoys crime thrillers: Drew Augustine's The Twenty Murders. It's an eye opener, and the author has also just launched a free Advent calendar of Flash Fiction with a difference from their website: https://drewaugustine.com/christmas-appeal/

Meeee

I would genuinely struggle to take seriously / respect proponents of this unless they were very young / troubled. It’s obviously not a fact that you can change sex. You just can’t.

They all know. They all still know. They're pretending they don't because it benefits them, either because they want to trample on women's rights or because they've been scared off, but they all know. They all know which class of people they're prioritising over which other class. They all know which of their parents is their mother. They all know which changing room or sporting team they want the penised people to infiltrate. If they moved to Iran or Afghanistan, they know exactly which group of people will have rights over which other group of people. They. All. Know.

Me

I cannot be as vocal as I'd like to be as my workplace is very woke.

There are a lot more than the captured media and institutions would like to think.

The recent US election result shows the power of the secret ballot. Sensible people will be emboldened everywhere , I think.

I am. I don't care now who knows it in real life. I work in police custody and I've been quite vocal about not adhering to gender ideology, will refuse to search a biological man/treat anyone other than their sex, but remaining polite and respectful of course. It hasn't presented any problems, yet. I think the tide is turning. Seeing a lot less pronouns in emails and the rare times I've spoken about it my colleagues have agreed with me.

The only TWAW fantasists I've seen luckily are on here!

WRN meet ups are the best group therapy

They are! I went to one a year or so ago and there were 12 women and four dogs and the noise they generated was shocking! We had prosecco and cakes and everyone was talking at once. It was fabulous.

Me (used a different username or two here in the past) and several TERFy friends IRL. They’re all smart confident interesting women.

I have no respect for anyone who goes along with gender ideology.

I have a LWS sticker on the inside of my phone case
so when I am using my phone its on full view

I've only had one negative comment
but "they" did have progress pride earrings
so I smiled sweetly and carried on working

WRN meet ups are the best group therapy

@nonplayercharacter "nobody actually believes it"
I wish I lived in your world............ Amongst the people I know - most are either very ignorant and dont really know much about it at all so tend to go with "be kind". And the rest are very strongly in the TWAW camp. - so much so that they've binned me as a friend over it. Horrified that apparently Im not the kind nice person they thought I was.
I know only about 5 people that agree with me on this issue.