Invisible Women

This is me. I have had the kindle version for ages.

The world is set up for a 5'7" white male, who is right handed.

This is a great book but a depressing read.

this thread has got me thinking of a thread on here yesterday about a woman complaining about a creepy man she had as a delivery driver.

the consensus seems to be that supermarket and delivery services like Deliveroo just shrug their shoulders or say we’ll pass on your feedback to you delivery driver.

I don’t think men really understand how threatening it is to have a stranger coming to your door and saying you look like a porn star ( as what happened to that poster)

he is coming to her door and being threatening. It’s actually a breach of the peace. But I think men just think we’re uptight as it’s just a compliment.

but it was also disappointing to read women asking OP why she didn’t call it out? There’s always an assumption that this is the woman’s problem to sort.

why the hell didn’t the supermarket sack the delivery driver for threatening behaviour to a customer?

@CharlieDickens

This!

“Men just don't want to stand up for women or accommodate them because they know it means they have to question their own behaviour and recognise that they're part of the problem.”

I had seen this said before on here and to be fair didn’t wholly buy into it but after the discussion about the book l was amazed that friends with daughters, Mums, and sisters who couldn’t see the relevance of crash test dummies representing all bodies.

It has made me think very differently which is why I recommend the book.

"Men just don't want to stand up for women or accommodate them because they know it means they have to question their own behaviour and recognise that they're part of the problem." I think it's even more fundamental than that - even "good" men don't want to upset the status quo because it suits them just as it is. 😔

What she says about contraception is also really interesting in that there has been so little advances made in the decades since the pill first came out. Now there is the illusion of choice for women, but if you don't want hormonal contraception, your choices are pretty limited.

I read the newsletter out to him. I don't think I could persuade him to read the book as he only occasionally reads fiction. We have two daughters, and he does get it. A couple of years ago he was blissfully oblivious to any issues, but I have done good work making him aware 😆 I told him that I would love for him to spend a day in my shoes as a petite 5 foot 2 female. We have a nutribullet blender thing, and I struggle to open it. It's not even just about strength. My hands are too small to be able to get a proper grip on it.

The grip strength info is so interesting. I had read it before but saw it again in yesterday’s email. Then last night couldn’t open a jar without my rubber grippy thing.
lots of cursing.

My copy arrived in the post yesterday! Looking forward to and dreading reading it in equal measure.

It’s amazing book: I had to read it in chunks too to avoid getting too rage-y. Agree that her newsletters are well worth subscribing too - funny and infuriating in equal measures!

Has your DH read it?
I listened to and it massively opened my eyes particularly to bad science/research that doesn’t include 50% of the people it affect’s.

I put my big boy pants on and attempted to discuss with a group of friends (male) was thoroughly disappointed especially with the ones with daughters (I have boys) at their utter dismal of the information.

it’s a book men need to read

A friend (male) became disabled after a car accident and said to me "Nothing has been designed for me, everything's for the able-bodied".
I said "welcome to the world of anyone who's non white, or non straight, or non able-bodied, or non male - the majority!".

If you want another eye-opening but frustrating one, Bad Science by Ben Goldacre is good.

My condolences, OP. You will spend at least the next 3 months in a state of fury as you see more and more of it.

I’m five years in and occasionally it still bursts out. On the plus side, a lot is changing as a direct result of the book. I was part of the project getting a copy sent to every MP

Even just as part 9f their life skills pr.PSHE lessons - a few chapters would be great.

Great book. This isn't entirely unrelated. I'm recovering from a hysterectomy, taking it slow etc. Within the paperwork I received (or may have seen it online) was a chart highlighting when I might start returning to things. It suggested that I can ask a family member to set up the ironing board/iron , being careful not to lift the laundry basket or put the board away mind 🙄
What are the chances this is on notes for men recovering from abdominal surgeries?!

I honestly think it should be studied as part of the secondary school curriculum (I know, it'll never happen).

It absolutely should be required reading for everyone: especially all the boys who haven't a clue about how things might affect women.

I get the rage thing. I had to read it in chunks because it made me.so angry.

Dh read it too and it was a huge eye opener for him. He's a musician and the chapter on piano keys really really blew his mind. Our dd is getting into piano and I suspect at some point he's going to want to buy a smaller piano/keyboard as he is so outraged by the issue!

Some of the sections on developing worlds and war zones was absolutely heart breaking.

Do read it - it's SO worth it. I read out pages at a time to DH so he could understand how "default male" adversely affects women. This was about 10 years ago and I'm not as angry now as I was then ..... 😉😂 I honestly think it should be studied as part of the secondary school curriculum (I know, it'll never happen).

I think the abuse came on the back of her successful campaign to have women represented on bank notes instead of the usual roll-call of white men - she became a household name because of this and attracted huge amounts of hate and abuse (two trolls who were identified - a woman and a man - were tried and served prison time) and then, of course, she couldn't breathe without some misogynist posting abuse about her.

I have avoided reading this book, as I know if I read it, I will be fuming for the rest of my life!

The heights of the seats of chairs, and beds, stretchers, wheelchairs, mobility scooters are all based on a male height. In A&E recently I could not get my bum onto the bed without using a step. I am not unusually short, either, I am 5ft 3.