Help me with a description / term

Amongst many social justice warrior types, in my experience, this is seen as an aggression in itself.

Yes, this is a pattern amongst those who want to virtue signal. The irony in @Missionimprobable 's case is that the person who appears to be bullying is a white woman herself.

With regard to @Bookery post. I don't think there is a misconstruable or inappropriate question to ask. Questions are a means to understanding between two parties. The OP cannot control and is not responsible for how the other party sees her. The "not allowed as a white person" comment does reflect some of the narrative we hear currently in cultural discussions led by books like "Why I'm no longer talking to white people about race".

The issue here appears to be that the OP is asking any sort of question. Amongst many social justice warrior types, in my experience, this is seen as an aggression in itself. We are not allowed to question or discuss. There is a receivable narrative and that is it. It is a would-be social dictatorship .

Good advice has been given OP. I suspect the problem is not you. We are living through a really strange period at present. I think it will calm down in time. Meanwhile do protect yourself, note down things are you uncomfortable with. You could go ahead with the grievance but it might make things very uncomfortable. Or bide your time quietly and wait for it all to pass. I think it will. The culture is shifting. People are fed up with this sort of thing - continually being accused of crimes of which we have no knowledge. Life in the UK in 2024 is quite Kafkaesque if you are familiar with the term. Take care.

If your manager is aware of her behaviour, why isn't he/she dealing with it? It shouldn't be up to a manager to recommend an employee starts a grievance.

It might depend on the question you asked during the meeting because sometimes a simple question can be misinterpreted, and without knowing the question or topic of the discussion it's hard to say whether the question came across as disingenuous or dismissive; I'm not sure what to think of the "not allowed as a white person apparently" part.

It's possible that your question may have been genuinely misconstrued or inappropriate, and it's also possible that the person who continues to take issue with you is seeing you in a negative light and these instances amplify that, resulting in a hostile work relationship. If it amounts to a hostile work environment, I hope you can explore options to address that.

No snappy responses Mission - you don't need them.
Channel calmness, politeness and gentle bemusement when she starts on you - dont her behavior out but stick to the issue in hand. Dont give her any ammunition for DARVO.
Other people are noticing the interactions between you and the fact that others have complained to your manager on your behalf/your manager is suggesting a grievance procedure suggests that they see the situation and who is the aggressor in the incidents.

Perhaps the term you were needing was Cry-bully?

There was an incident (another untrue accusation against me) yesterday which prompted my op, luckily it was witnessed and my manager has been informed.
He has advised me today to start a formal grievance, he's been aware of all the instances of her petty and not so petty attacks.
I'm giving it some serious thought tonight, luckily I started making notes when she first started being horrible to me.
It sounds ridiculous, I hate to say she bullies me, I sound pathetic (we're not school girls) but bullying is what it is.

Yes @Missionimprobable and in my experience of being bullied (both in the playground and in a job I had) bullies rely on the actual hostile actions they take being small & trivial. It means that if the victim complains, they appear to be complaining about something trivial and the bully always has the get out "Oh, it was only a joke."

I was given jobs below my grade & expertise; I was required to move offices as the one I had was apparently "too big" for my grade; and I was left out of information loops. No one thing didn't have an apparently legitimate reason, but there was a pattern of exclusion and subtle denigration.

The main thing is to keep a record, as your manager suggests, and show the pattern and consistency and frequency of these small comments & actions and accusations. Date, time, substance of the event/comment.

Good luck.

So she is all the evils combined herself (female, white, middle aged, so on)
Is she just screaming 'do it to Julia'?
Has anyone else noticed the behaviour? is there anywhere you could raise her manner towards you and how this affects you? eg the unneccesarily combatitive/countemptous manner in responding to a colleague?

Misogynist wanker.

Although I’ve now RTFT and seen that my suggestions after “bigot” are way off - showing my bias, I guess.

It sounds as though your colleague is using. EDI stuff to compete with you in some way.

If you want to, you could “workshop” some responses here. The clever brains of MN and FWR could help you with some responses. But I get what you mean by feeling silenced.

Bigot.

also:
Young

Arrogant

A man.

The word is bigot.

Can I suggest listening to the podcast This Isn't Working? It's a fantastic podcast led by two HR people who have nothing good to say about the radical political views found in many EDI teams. They seem very on the ball and it's a great intro for those unfamiliar with this type of corporate dysfunction - and might help you realise how not alone you are.

That sounds awful. I think you should give serious consideration to the possibility that you are being bullied. You describe being labelled as a homophobe, terf, racist. You feel silenced in meetings, unable to speak. ACAS has a page on bullying at work: https://www.acas.org.uk/bullying-at-work

These kind of people actually work against the principles of EDI because they shut down people’s authentic and unconscious prejudices. It’s only when we ask questions and challenge things that real debate and mutual understanding can happen.

But you’ll never reconcile to fanatical idiots like this unless you’re really ten steps ahead and can debate them into the ground. But who can be arsed with that?

Oh dear.my advice is go silent, hear all that she spews out, take notes on it all and then go arm yourself on the internet.

You will be more ready for sound bites after that.

I have a number of terms but none that could be repeated in the company of my great aunt.