The guardian - thinking we’re idiots as usual

I think Freddie wrote for the Guardian at one point.

Yes Freddie was a regular guardian journalist and had a column about being "trans" IIRC. FMc has been identifying as a man for a relatively long time compared to many. I imagine this must have left an impression there.

There was a story about Jan Morris that I think I may have posted on another thread after Morris died. Frustratingly, I can't find it now, but my vague recollection is that it featured in a Times diary column. The story was about a writer going to Morris's house for lunch, and at the end when he suggested clearing the dishes, Morris stopped him and said, "No, that's women's work."

By "women's work", Morris didn't mean that Morris would do it, but that Elizabeth would.

Would love it if someone else could track it down!

Posters above have rightly noted the conflict for Cots- you love your father, don't want to report him and have been told eg in the press/ schools that 'transwomen are women' and it is very difficult to acknowledge the harms he does - kids don't want to rock the boat, be accused of 'transphobia' or hurt him. There's huge pressure to pretend everything is ok, and further pressure to lie abusive men are women even from professionals who should tell the truth (police, CPS, courts)
https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2021/12/28/the-judges-bench-book/

This week yet another father of 2 children was found guilty of rape- and referred to as a 'woman' in court/ by the BBC. What message do you think this gives to his children (and do the public really think these abusive men are sweetness and light at home?)

The Cots founder also wrote about this conflict back in 2019!
childrenoftransitioners.org/2019/08/09/on-the-pressure-to-pretend-that-its-all-ok/

And if 16+ Cots try and access 'by women for women' help for female survivors they are increasingly excluded- as the Cots report wrote about in Bristol/ Somerset...
https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2024/04/13/the-trans-lobby-has-destroyed-provision-for-female-abuse-victims-in-bristol-and-elsewhere-and-will-do-the-same-for-the-victims-bill/

The Guardian were very keen on Freddie McConnell's unsuccessful legal attempts to force her children and the state to pretend she was their father not their mother (rejected by the courts for multiple reasons, including that it went against the welfare and human rights of her children and other children of transpeople). I think Freddie wrote for the Guardian at one point.
https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2023/04/10/paperwork/

Cots are not offered counselling automatically- some don't even get a social worker. Things that used to trigger child protection - like a father arrested for voyeurism/ flashing in female only spaces (and doing the same to his daughter at home)- now won't necessarily even get reported. Once parents break up the kids, specially girls, are vulnerable if the dad gets access, and he usually does.

Bad parenting doesn't always produce good children. And bad parenting doesn't always mean bad parents, I'm sure JM's father didn't want to have his health wrecked in WW1 so he was a chronic invalid who died before his son was in his teens. It's why developed societies should do all they can to protect and support children, and indeed the state of childhood.

I’ve just read the article in the actual paper and I found it a little confusing, but it’s a confusing situation for JM’s children. Mark Morris obviously loves his father, who, equally obviously though perhaps not appreciated until recently, was a very difficult and selfish person. The situation reminds me of the Bloomsbury Group, who lived their lives exactly as they wished to do but whose behaviour had damaging consequences for the children, particularly Angelica Garnett, as Quentin Bell made clear.

I notice that Mark Morris is critical of the “extreme right wing government” in Alberta that is bringing in legislation to “ban the use of puberty blockers in gender situations”. I’m very much not right wing myself and it may well be advisable not to oppose the teaching of gender identity, sexual orientation etc in schools, but to support, as Mark Morris seems to do, providing puberty blockers to children doesn’t sit comfortably with his other comments about understanding the effects of these situations on children

I think it was Tinsel in the Transwidow threads put it very well about Elizabeth's obituary.

Yes, the fact that Morris knew perfectly well that he was a man and expected to be treated as one comes across very clearly.

I remember reading Conundrum in the mid 70s and finding it dull, but not much beyond that. I think there was a comment about his sons being disturbed by the surgical procedure he had chosen. As well they might have been. The egotism required to put ones children's emotional and psychological wellbeing behind ones own is remarkable. I note that J M's father died when he was about the age his own sons were when he - removed? altered? their father. Bad parenting handed down.

wish I could find the exact quote but someone observed words to the effect that Elizabeth Morris was a side issue in her own obituary

https://gendercriticalwoman.blog/2022/12/27/elizabeth-morris-conundrum/

I wouldn’t be too harsh on the subeditors. There isn’t much room in headlines or standfirsts for nuance. And this is the Observer, not the Guardian. I thought it was an interesting piece, in the sense that Mark Morris has curiously conflicting views. He’s very gung-ho about trans rights and allowing children to have puberty blockers, but he also recognises that his father was immensely selfish, that he had old-fashioned views about women (which applied to his wife, but not to himself) and that for the children of a transitioner, the experience is very difficult.

Twm Morys (another son) would agree, it seems. The first few lines from an article he was asked to write (about his father!!!) on International Women's day in 2020:

As I am her son, I was asked to write a piece about Jan Morris, the world famous author, for International Women's Day. Her contribution to the world since 1972 has been enormous, it's true, and there is no bigger fan than me!

But there is plenty of talk about Jan Morris, the world famous author at the moment, and the second volume of her reflection diary Thinking Again has just come off the press. And that or any of the pile of books she has written during her long career would hardly have happened if it wasn't for her partner, my mother, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth also deserves attention on Women's Day.

For one thing, she has been a woman for quite a few more years than Jan!

And then he contines to write the rest of the article he's been commissioned to write for International Women's day about his mother, Elizabeth.

article (in Welsh)

I found this article when looking for obituaries of Jan in the Welsh press, to see whether there were any angles not being covered in English language ones.
I noted at the time that Twm was being very clear (if understated) about his postition towards his father, and his position towards those who assume he will write about Jan as though Jan is his mother.

I loved the way he very simply said - you've asked me to write about my mother? yes, ok then - and proceeds to do so!

It's interesting, as he is associated more with Jan than his other siblings as he came back to live in Wales a number of years before Jan died (he was in Brittany for many years, I believe) and they rubbed along together fairly well by all accounts - the Welsh Arts scene isn't that big, and they would sometimes appear together.
However, his clarity, shared by at least 2 siblings that we know about, that Jan is indeed his father, made me think about how much the most well-meaning people just accept this stuff without question -

Jan is your mum, write about her for IMD!
Oh you're Jan Morris's son, what's it like having her as a mum?
etc etc

It's that shallow thinking again, people not being able to get to the end of a thought process - even when that's almost literally insulting to the person you're talking to.
How can someone talk about Jan Morris as Twm/Mark/Suki's mother, often directly to them, without realising they already have a mother who exists in her own right?????
Or is it just misogyny? Women as 2nd class citizens, support humans, as we say so often on here.

Jan was my father. People still call Jan to my face “your mother”: to do so is to deny me my identity, and my actual mother her rightful place.

Interesting header chosen by the Guardian, instead of this -

One group, though, are still a hidden story: the children of trans parents. We are our own selves – I have used “my father” throughout this piece, called him “him” when he was to me a man, and “she” when a woman. For, whether trans advocates like it or not, Jan was my father. People still call Jan to my face “your mother”: to do so is to deny me my identity, and my actual mother her rightful place

Yes, this was what I remembered. Also sick of the fawning. Being trans seems to absolve you from being a decent human being/parent/partner.

From his daughter, Suki Morys -

https://archive.ph/bupdZ

I'm getting tried at the level of fawning there is on Jan Morris, especially by women in the Welsh Arts scene.

I'd like to hear more from Suki, his daughter, personally.

Yes, I understood this too - I had gleaned that Jan Morris was a bit of a monster to his family and that the son in question never doubted that she was his father. This article seems a bit revisionist and not without an agenda…

Interesting that Morris mentions his father's deeply engrained sexism but is silent on the despicable treatment meted out to his sister - even while he discusses his own university experience, a privilege that was denied her because of her sex.

This was in The Observer. I do wish they would differentiate in the URL which paper it was published in.

That's exactly why I read it.

The disingenuous misogynist rainbow flag waving arsehats.

Which is such a loss all around as Sodha's piece on child poverty in today's Observer was good.

Aaaand... Here we have one of the reasons why I don't buy the Graun or even the Obvs any longer.

A very well written article with a deeply misleading headline and sub-heading. Thank you OP.

Interesting that he thinks the family should have had counselling. I agree but suspect that or trans widows and children of trans parents today would say they still don't get this.

Thank you. I just read the headline and decided not to read the article - I should have known that it was a misrepresentation of the son's real feelings.