Why do all trans discussions end in a bun fight?

I’m a lesbian. I disagree.

If you genuinely believe something, like that there are such things as genders which 'match' sexes, you should be able to explain what you mean.

This.

There are harms being done to young lesbians. Trans ideology absolutely is homophobic.

Why should we stay silent on that?

thats fine, you do you

you stay on the side of ppl who think it’s fine to have a man running a rape crisis centre who bullied their staff and tells female rape survivors they need to reframe their trauma

and on the side of ppl who hold up signs saying decapitate TERFS

and on the side of ppl who think it’s fine for men to play in women’s sports

and on the side of ppl who think it’s fine for men to take prizes designed for women or to appear on 100 most influential women lists or to take places in programmes designed to increase women’s representation in politics

we’ll be over here in the side of women

She is not causing any discord to anyone.

Except forcing others to us wrong sex pronouns is something which is not a neutral act and has real world consequences.

It is an act of forced compliance and it undermines safeguarding.

We also have a duty to raise safeguarding concerns about harms to girls and young women from the snake oil of over promising 'a solution' and understating potential side effects.

The fact that you don't understand this, is why it ends up in a 'bunfight'.

Acknowledge that it does cause discord and that others should not be compelled to go along with you and your daughter's quasi-religious belief, and everything will be fine.

Tbh I'm not convinced this is being asked in good faith anyway. I think the purpose of the thread is to try and demonstrate your point...

I can understand it, and I went to Cambridge, thank you.
I don’t see this attitude as being pro-women. At all. I’m a woman and it certainly isn’t my cause.

Generally because people say things that appear incorrect, misogynistic or homophobic to other posters but then refuse to clarify what they mean and just start calling names instead.

If you genuinely believe something, like that there are such things as genders which 'match' sexes, you should be able to explain what you mean.

Can you not understand the difference between being pro-women and transphobic?

That seems to be the biggest difficulty for many, many people. Not a great reflection on our education system or critical thinking.

It's not. Maybe in the TRA hard of thinking community.

Is that renowned on Planet Earth or just renowned in Cloud CuckooLand?

I love the bun fight - cinnamon or raisin? We are not a hive mind and there are lots of very different opinions. Plus you have to be slightly mad to post in AIBU and not expect a backlash

I think this sums it up quite well.

Or why demands are being made for boards which already exist.

We don't start threads about poster's children, and posters are unlikely to start them here unless they want GC focussed advice.

Not sure why FWR are being scolded for it then.

If it was the 'to think that non binary candidates are more unlikely to be offered a job' thread, then yes, it was on the AIBU board, not the FWR Board.

There's a parents of adult children thread, and lgbtqia+thread, a mental health thread. And the thread you mention about the non binary person struggling to find a job was on AIBU. And actually it was one of the kindest AIBUs I've seen in a while. Usually it's grotesque on there but most people were pretty sensible.
Feminism Sex and Gender is not the right place to come for affirmation of genderism. (though I am sorry your DD is struggling. It's heartbreaking seeing your child suffer)

I know your situation is complex, because I’ve been in it. But I came here to this board because I felt strongly that my young person was reacting to unresolved issues in their life, and could potentially heap a whole load of new issues on top. I learnt so much about pronouns , Pride, binders and blockers and hormones and surgery and queer theory, and Stonewall, and Mermaids, and so so much more and it helped me crystallise my thinking. But if you think the people on this board are having a bunfight, my guess is that the parents of lgbt children board may be a better fit. They can’t actually be children because we aren’t supposed to attribute adult stuff like sexuality to children, or so I believed.
I think it could be very useful if you started explicitly, a support thread for parents of gender questioning people. Contributors are expected to be supportive on support threads. Of course, there will still be different approaches, but it may be that in a less polarised environment, you could learn from each other.
But do be careful on the FWR board. It’s very precious to us, despite regular scoldings and condemnation, it’s been a safe space for gender critical feminists. It’s a huge mistake to assume that we have not been directly affected by these issues, or that we want to bully you into behaving in a certain way with your child. But you will be challenged on the “they just want to live their life” argument because they don’t. Trans and non binary people demand that everyone else pretends that people can choose their sex, or be no sex. They have endangered children and young people caught up in it.They have changed language , they have ruined womens single sex provision in sport, health care, prisons. They have led to rape survivors being refused support and called bigots. This is hurting women, in all sorts of ways. And we will keep saying so.

I try to help when desparate parents ask simple questions about their LGBTQ DC ( this week it was about getting a job).

That was an AIBU thread I think, wasn't it?

Because MN is renowned for being a hotbed of transphobia. It’s where people congregate and it’s given air time.

Other people are entitled to express themselves, and entitled to state the truth. I don't know what posts specifically you're referring to but no, women will not stop speaking of our concerns. I don't know about anyone else, but my days of sacrificing MY peace of mind and MY safety and MY privacy for some unknown gender-addled kid are long over.
You have no right to try to coerce me into acting against my own interests.

OP there is already a board just for that purpose.

I have to add my voice in saying that while you don’t believe your child is causing discord, they are. I do hope though that you, your daughter and all your family get the mental health support that you need.

However, asking people to be kind and to not speak out about the negative impacts that even someone who thinks they are not causing impacts is very unreasonable. Just the language demands alone that one person makes of others is unreasonable. What other groups in society are allowed to make those demands just based on philosophical belief?

And asking on this board is not appropriate although maybe you did not intend to cause offense.

Because you can't reason with crazy.

I've always assumed "parents of lgbt children" included adult children.

The reason it ends in a bunfight is because there's no middle ground that everyone agrees on. Eg, Feminists suggest 3rd spaces, TRAs say no.

And women are, rightly, angry because our rights are literally at risk.

The thread about getting a job wasn’t OP’s. OP said she tries to help on threads like that.

Unfortunately, while your DD isn’t actively harming anyone, genderism is actively harming many people. Arguably all women, especially vulnerable or religious ones. Children, particularly those who end up with surgery and drugs on their previous healthy bodies. Anyone who needs a single sex space or wants to do competitive sport.