Why do all trans discussions end in a bun fight?

Yes as I mentioned, I’m often impressed how calm some FWR posters remain in light of emotional accusations. How they engage seriously and refute/discuss point by point. Other posters can be more reactive/sensitive/defensive when feeling under attack. For example, I think the OP was already feeling on the defensive and I’m not sure what the point in starting the thread was, but also there has been some criticism of the OP on this thread, which, in my opinion, was not wholly warranted. I get that others disagree and that the OP hasn’t come back to clarify.

They loved it. That was the thing.

They would cook everyday if we let them then. Now as a late teen? Forget it. Even though they are an excellent cook. 😉

I am impressed. That's serious cookery. Well done!

In NE Scotland, it's just a 'man'. And a woman is a 'wifie'.

Nah, but we would send our kid up the chimney to sweep it.

Strangely most of my family are miners, now that you mention it.

Yep. We was hard task masters. Made them push the chairs up to the stove on their own and all!!

of course, they were assisted. And of course, they were supervised.

@DrBlackbird If someone suggested I was reinforcing gender stereotypes and I didnt intend that I would not claim their post was abusive. I might say read my other posts, I agreed that it's silly to label hobbies.

Why do you think OP started claiming "abuse" when it was not?

Luxury! At 3 we were mining our own iron ore to make the griddles...
sorry couldn't resist

Do you mean dealing with batter on a hot griddle? Wow!

i thought that was pretty common to be fair. At 3, mine was making their own pikelets and mini muffins with supervision. Probably helped that my MIL was a home ec teacher to be fair.

A nanny who is a man.

What is a Manny?

I was more curious that OP's DD had learned all about cooking at 3. Scones are nice - and quite difficult to make (unless you like quoits with cheese in).😊

Yes, those outdated sex stereotypes were quietly fading away, with until transgenderism suddenly slammed this very welcome movement into reverse.

I am still stunned by the way decades of progress were overturned by a fierce but tiny minority demanding obeisance to an ideology nobody really believes. And most bizarre of all, this me-centred ultra-liberal ideology is backed by people who claim to be left-wing.

But can you see that it affects, and harms, many other women? And that feminists, by definition, want to prevent harm to women?

That is a very harmful rhetoric from your mother Red. And yes those comments can land and be internalised, resulting in confusion, damage and the perpetuation of stereotypes. Perhaps it was a significant remark of the OP and indicative of recurring comments made to her DD? It didn’t seem to me that there was enough information to know one way or another. Though she did make 3 subsequent posts criticising the stereotyping of hobbies.

Whilst I agree with @Helleofabore that the opening position of the thread came across as defensive/combative and in reaction to some other thread exchanges, in the end I thought that generally the OP was agreeing that labelling hobbies and interests as male or female was contributing to gender confusion and wrong. Plus, to a certain extent I sympathise trying to find that balance being firmly sex realist when navigating and maintaining loving relationships with DCs firmly TWAW.

My mother constantly saying 'you should have been a boy because you do boy things' and vice versa was a significant issue to me and my brother.

It's incredibly relevant and I notice it when others do it.

Other people might think it's a throwaway remark.

I absolutely do not. I think it's one that should be pick up on and pointed out as being significant.

The OP said she has some male traits!!!

This all seems to come down to 'would you please get in and stay in these confining and actually quite offensive gender/belief based boxes because it distresses my child and makes my life/perspective difficult if you don't'.

I'm very sorry for your child's distress and your difficult position but no. I won't. I am not obliged to set myself on fire to keep anyone else warm, however sad their story.

The OP did say that they considered their daughter had male traits.

And has reported posters for being abusive when they have not been abusive. Frankly, it is quite hard to understand just what is actually going on and what the motivation for posting this thread with this title on FWR was.

Okay @anyolddinosaur yes she made that one comment, true but we don’t always perfectly express our thoughts in a single post. Her other posts go on to talk about others equating those hobbies to male interests. Plus, we might all occasionally fall into the trap of labelling some traits as male or female. I catch myself falling into this trap sometimes anyhow.

My DD had a manny and I guess she equated certain sports and hobbies with boys.
**
so she's been told.
Cobblers to that. Ditto her interest in cars
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its interesting that some view hobbies as male or female. My DD likes marvel, speaks Japanese and loves film. She is also a computer wizz. At boarding school she caused a rumpus for refusing basic cookery classes (my dad taught her to cook as a three year old, she didn't see the need to make scones! ) and she was sanctioned for wearing trousers.

It seemed to me that in those other posts the OP is agreeing that it’s crazy that her DDs interests were being labelled as male ones and agreeing that was part of the problem. And seemed to me that the OP was being given a harder time than warranted.

My opinion anyway.

This thread has taken a very odd turn.

OP it sounds like you've had a difficult time with your daughter and I wish you well.

It's a bit odd to be surprised that posters on the women's rights sex and gender board view discussions through a feminist lens.

I also can't see where anyone has been abusive. Not liking what someone has to say isn't them being abusive to you.

Maybe it would be best not to post about a subject so close to your heart if it's too painful to discuss frankly? You're not going to get solely affirmation on here.

That does not equal 'bunfight'.

@DrBlackbird Look at the OP's posts "She has few male traits. I'm fact she is one of the most gentle people I know."

There have not been any "abusive posts" - Red didnt say the OP had made those comments, she said those comments were sexist. Unless the OP was thinking in sexist terms why take it personally?.

She didn’t suggest some activities were male traits though! 🤷🏻‍♀️

The OP did not do this though.