How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

It’s not a courtesy.

It an attempt to force people to take part in an ideology they want nothing to do with.

“So sorry I don’t understand. What do you mean?”

At my place of work you can add your pronouns to your email signature if you wish (a few people have) but it's not compulsory. I have not added mine and nobody has ever asked me for them.

I was more bothered by the policy of stopping "Dear Sir/Madam" as "Dear (Company)" just doesn't flow. I actively need to do that, whereas pronouns are just sitting there.

@ditalini I completely agree with this and I've never heard a response to this argument.

Asking someone directly to state their religion or their sexuality or their disability on zoom next to their name so that everyone feels comfortable would be ridiculous and never allowed. It's private and we shouldn't be forced to declare it. Why is "gender identity" any different? Why do people need to know?

Yes people will make assumptions and use the pronouns they see fit, but luckily they'll do it behind your back. Someone calling you "he" when you identify as a "she" behind your back is nowhere near as upsetting as being forced to either out yourself or lie.

People make assumptions about many things including sexuality. If a man says they're going bowling with their other half, people will respond asking about "her" on the whole. It's the default. I see it at work all the time. An inclusive workplace would expect others to respect the fact someone is gay but they wouldn't bloody ask you to declare your sexuality as you join the Teams meeting.

According to gender ideology your gender identity works in the same way. Unless pronouns are completely optional and not pressured then workplaces are being the opposite of inclusive.

Personally I wouldn't want to work for an organisation that believed in this ideology. It's letting yourself in for a world of pain.

I would act confused, as anyone would have a decade or two ago before this nonsense became a thing.

It wouldn't come up verbally at interview I'm pretty sure. It's probably just a thing they do to try and seem 'inclusive'. I'd also imagine you could opt out of having it in your email footer etc.

But that can be discussed if/when you get the job. I certainly wouldn't put it in the forefront of my mind during the interview process.

By it's very nature, they can't choose to put a gender or pronoun there on your behalf without your consent as it's meant to be your own 'identity'.

I'd just say "I'm female" and move on. If they press the issue then that tells you something useful about the workplace environment. If they do press further I'd use a response along the lines of "the usual female pronouns".

People refer to you in the third person. Presumably, as you are posting here, you want this to match the sex on your birth certificate. So, I am guessing, she/her.

Or, you can go full gender critical on them, say pronouns are like Rohypnol, you think trans women are men, and you will not be subjected to their gender ideology. You can then hold your arms up in an X so they know your chromosomes.

Personally, I'd just tell them what your pronouns are.

TBH I'd think again about working there if you are asked for them. Who'd want to work in a company where they've fallen for this claptrap?
I oppose pronouns because they go against my instinct. I need my instincts for my physical safety as a woman and I don't want to be re-educated into believing men can be women.

I really wish someone would ask me as I’d love to say my pronouns are cunt/tits. If you don’t refer to me as cunt or tits you’re denying my identity.

You just need to say she/her if you want the job. Afterall, we all do things we don't fully believe in at work.

I didn't get it either, but now realise it's for clarity, so we all get it right (being sensitive to those transitioning or who don't want to be labelled by their sex ir gender).

Good luck, I hope it goes well!

Some people say they are she /they

• even more bizarre

Don’t say that, or you will end up as a zee or a zim or an erg or drf or some other meaningless combination of letters that means no one is any the wiser.

If you want the job I wouldn't be difficult at this stage. They might assume you are an all out bigot and think that you don't see colour and you don't believe in the patriarchy etc and decide that you might be a HR nightmare to employ - wait until you are employed to ourt your (legally protected I believe) gender critical beliefs

Interesting. It's true that women not playing along when someone asks them a sexist question are often called difficult. But I'm not sure on a Feminist board that's something to be avoided. If it wasn't for difficult women we'd have no vote, not even the pretence of equal pay, marital rape would still be legal...

I get that an interview may not be the place for a Feminist stand, we all need to pay our bills, but I'd tend to the side of pitying the women who have to play along rather than calling the ones who don't "a difficult arsehole", which rather smacks of a value judgement on your part.

👏👏👏 well explained

All the political answers are all very well but I suspect op actually wants to get the job here so I’m not convinced it’s a good idea to come across as stroppy, pedantic, impossibly naive and out of touch or any of the many negative things that can be taken from some of these suggested answers.
If you have been out of the workplace for ages you are on the back foot. There’s a good chance you will be working with a team who are younger than you and need to show you will be able to get on with them. Added to which, it is entirely likely the people interviewing you aren’t massive TRAs but have been told by HR they have to do this, so you’re not going to endear yourself by making a thing of this. Just let them tick the box and move on. I think preferred pronouns are problematic for all kinds of reasons but giving them at a job interview is not the hill I would choose to die on.

My preferred pronoun is "you", which is what people use when talking to me.

When I'm not there, they can call me what they like. I am trying to think of any occasion in my life when I was in the room and being talked about in the third person, without my actual name being used. Maybe when my Mum took me to the doctor when I was little.

Which suggests to me that the whole pronouns thing has been made up by the "Well, ackshually" wing of the Very Clever Men Movement.

Did OP say she identified as female? I missed that.

I don't identify as female. I just am.

The distinction might not be important to you but it is to me. It's comparable to my atheism being understood only as my being an apostate/ heretic/ infidel etc. I do not wish to be forcibly defined by a belief system that I do not share.

not say it, sing it.

“I ‘m a woman
W.O.M.A.N”

I had an interview with an agency years and years ago when they said 'we don't like to assume so we ask absolutely everyone this, which sex do you want us to list you as' and I said female. She was very embarrassed asking me but they obviously had been trained to do that when filling in the forms.

So you could just say 'I'm female so I expect people to call me she or her'

Tbh I'm not anti having pronouns in emails as it can help you know if there's a gender neutral name like Bailey or Lesley.

I'd say "She and her". Best to play along until you get the job. Then you can start to change things!

"Oh, just use whatever you think is appropriate."

Just say ‘I’m a woman’.