How best to answer 'What are your preferred pronouns?' in an intervew

Good luck in your interview op. Let us know how it goes 🤞

I was thinking this - if the question was 'do you have preferred pronouns that you want to share with us?' At least that would cater for those that don't have/ don't want to, without othering us. It's not a straight up assumption that of course we must have preferred pronouns.

I mean, it's still not ideal, but it's an improvement.

A bit like when recruitment forms ask if you need any reasonable adjustments to apply/ attend interview. That's not the same as asking if you're disabled, but it's asking if you want/ need to share that information in order to participate in the process. I can see why that's useful, can't really see it with asking about pronouns though - as has been said its not like anyone addresses people with 3rd person pronouns.

Edited for clarity.

I doubt that you'll get asked. At my work we were all "invited" to put our pronouns on our email footers. I didn't but some have. If the email that you received was from HR they might have felt obliged to put it on their email (don't ask others to do something that you wouldn't do yourself and all that), adjusted their signature and thought no more about it. It depends on the sort of place you are applying to I guess but at mine it was up to the individual whether they included it or not.

Does your CEO friend’s company also encourage others to add their pronouns to signatures I wonder. Certainly as the CEO she must have some inkling that many people just don’t want to do it, and yet she is showing leadership in doing so to her staff. If she considers herself GC I find this strange

Lots of people just think it's the thing to do without necessarily having strong views either way.

There are lots of things in life that should be. Or shouldn't be.

Note that stating your pronouns on your emails or professional profile doesn't automatically mean you believe in gender ideology. A friend who is firmly GC has 'she/her' on her profile, and she is a CEO so I'm pretty sure noone is making her do this. We have discussed GC views (and she refers to herself as a TERF) but I don't think she necessarily spends her time keeping up with all the arguments for and against sharing your pronouns.

If there isn't there should be.

And the whole point of collecting diversity data is for statistical monitoring and analysis, so you can say things like "we had x% ethnic minority applicants and only y% got through to interview, can we think about why that is".

There's no way, in a professional organisation, than anyone should be asked their diversity characteristics face to face. That's the second reason I disagree with asking pronouns in interviews - not only do I disagree with the whole idea of declaring your pronouns, but it's also sneaking in the bad practice of asking someone about their personal characteristics in a setting where you should only be asking about their skills.

Not in some forms I've seen.

Also this is in person face to face.

There's always a "prefer not to say" option.

In your question about gender identity, do you cater for those of us without one? I just don’t get why these questions can’t be more inclusive (how ironic!) and, if they must ask, to ask something like “do you have a gender ID” Y/N and then allow space for those with something they want to share to add it, but the rest of us can tick no and move on?

I make it my personal policy not to answer this question if I can help it, as it implies I have a gender ID.

About time also the gender pay gap stuff was also amended IMO

Being shy about demanding "preferred pronouns" - what a novelty that would be.

It most definitely is part of a belief system - and the belief that third-person pronouns should align with an identity is a new concept that is being forced on the general public, all the while claiming that it has always been thus, or it's only a little thing. Both these claims are untrue. Third-person pronouns in English are a part of speech and agree with the sex of the person being referred to. Mandating pronouns based on declared gender identity serves no useful purpose to society in general, but does primarily serve the interests of males who want to invade and colonise women's spaces and language. This is not a little thing, or a courtesy.

You already know how to refer to a male or female person who isn't in the room. He/him or she/her depending on their sex.

So much of the ill-will in this debate could be avoided if genderists would a) stop gaslighting and b) develop their own language instead of trying to artificially repurpose words and concepts which already have an established, commonly understood and (usually) opposite meaning. Like, you know, woman.

Well, you can assume that your interviewer(s) will need to do so outside of the interview room. Very few interviews are decided by one person who does all the follow up paperwork themselves.

So wouldn’t it be fair enough if someone felt they wanted to express their pronouns in the interview so people knew how to refer to them afterwards.

I still don’t think it’s a question that’s actually going to be asked!

On forms I always say ‘Mrs’. Or you could try Ms . I enjoy deliberately misunderstanding the question.

It is alluding to a belief system - pronouns are just that as (according to Stonewall) they can be an important way to express your gender identity. Gender identify is a belief, and compelling others to use pronouns based on gender identify require others to adhere to that belief system, whether or they do or not. Of course, no-one should refer to you in the third person in an interview so they're not required.

Would there be reason to give your pronouns in the interview? Nobody is likely to be referring to you in the third person, so I'm not sure why it would be important in that context.

Pedantic but nobody will ever be "addressing" you by your pronouns because the whole point is that they are third party. Address you = talking to you, pronouns are used when you are talking about someone.

They might talk about you using them but 99% of the time you won't be present to care- it would be very rude, particularly in an interview situation if two other participants referred to you as she/he/they while you were still in front of them.

As I said, @SirChenjins I personally wouldn’t ask the question either.

I don’t think that having your pronouns in an email sign off, however, is ‘alluding to a belief system’, and it certainly doesn’t suggest to me that the interviewer is going to ask for pronouns at the beginning of an interview.

However, as an interviewee, if I felt my pronouns were not obvious, the interviewer’s sign off would make me feel comfortable that I could give my pronouns (unprompted) in the interview. And that’s important.

I agree. Tilting at windmills is an odd way of describing the preparation for a question that might well appear at an interview given the non-neutral statement of pronouns in the interviewer's sign-off. I've interviewed many candidates over my 30-plus years as a manager and I've never once alluded to any belief system that I have - and I wouldn't allow anyone on my panel to.

I don't believe many interviewers would ask it. But I can imagine there may be a few who would consider it nice and inclusive to do so, given that pronoun-wielding is so widespread in many places.

ElleWoods15

You'll forgive me if I can't see how anticipating a question about "preferred pronouns" in today's culture and in response to an interviewer who has put their pronouns in an email is "tilting at windmills".

I quite like this one

‘Gosh, that’s a bit personal. Is it ok to ask that these days?’

@NancyDrawed how did it go? I hope you found it useful practice, even if the job didn’t turn out to be suitable.

I absolutely believe that @Snowypeaks. Tilting at windmills is exactly what’s happening here and the risk is it puts the OP in a shitty frame of mind with the interviewer which blows the whole interview of course notwithstanding the question never actually gets asked.

I regularly get asked about interview prep irl and this is exactly the kind of thing I’d always advise against doing.

I think the veiled implication is I’m unable to put myself in someone else’s shoes, which is nonsense.
I’ve expressed before my view that there is no reason at all to expect that the question will be asked.

You were offended at the implication but your answer shows that you literally cannot put yourself in the shoes of a gender critical/sex realist who does not subscribe to gender ideology and who is faced with a question about preferred pronouns. You address the hypothetical situation as if you were on the interview panel, not an interviewee.
You dismiss it as a possible question for no obvious reason even though it has been asked, as pps have attested.

Of course it's hypothetical, by the way. All questions in possible interviews the OP may get are hypothetical.

And I cannot believe you believe this:
While interview prepping is sensible, putting myself in the position of prepping for an interview I’d be trying not to tilt at windmills because it has the potential to put you in a bad frame of mind for the interview.

Really?

Edited for grammar