Not sure if I have said something wrong or not

This link should work: Dont Get Caught Out final (002).pdf

Although this is a good point, I don't want to argue back about how other people might feel.

The whole point is that we cannot simultaneously say people have a right to self identity and ask other people to use certain pronouns if other people cannot be afforded the same considerations.

I've spent fifty years on this planet..for at least 45 of them, I was referred to a she and her because that is obviously my sex. I truly will not change to start stating what has been the obvious almost all my life.

I can accept that my young students have grown up differently and they come at this differently, and I will call them by their chosen pronouns and try and be supportive (while being concerned about their mental health usually because I've never had a trans student who is just fine tbh).

I just won't change who I am and how I want to be referred to. It's the same courtesy.

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen @Signalbox yes I totally agree - I was more thinking in the case of trying to get out of a situation where someone was being actually threatening or particularly unpleasant.
Normally I wouldn't want to confuse my stance but I am aware that it can be different in places where you work with the same people day after day.

@BreatheAndFocus I think that's a much better idea to say that some trans or questioning people might find it uncomfortable.

I'll definitely take all your comments on board.

"My pronouns are sex based - like my oppression" is something I've heard.

I wonder if there’s any data investigating possible correlation between the prevalence of pronoun-stating and discrimination based on sex - or other protected characteristics. After all, other pc’s don’t seem to attract much consideration once an organisation is stonewalled….

Or "I'm a woman, so refer to me in whatever way seems most appropriate to you" 😄

I was just thinking that - how would it be received if you said "I'm female, so the pronouns that refer to me are female ones"?

I think I'd have asked 'what transphobia?' personally. Since you saw none it might at least have been amusing watching her tying herself in knots producing some.

I prefer to say that some trans people might not feel ready to share their pronouns so this request could cause them upset and anxiety.

That way, you’re turning it round and showing concern for those trans people but also - and importantly - you’re not implying that you share the GI belief system.

I'd be so tempted to say "He/him" but I know someone would say that I wasn't. Can you imagine the nastiness about that? She said he/him but we all know she's a woman. Errrr....

It's so funny, really, isn't it? What if someone wasn't sure about transitioning - why on earth would they want to announce anything to a roomful of people? Can you imagine having to state whether you were gay in a situation like that?

Out of curiosity has anyone responded to the request for stating their pronouns in a meeting with ‘I’m female’ or something along those lines? And if so, how was that received?

That's a good answer - you would never stand up in a meeting and say 'hi my name is Jane, I have recurring depression and haemorrhoids, I'm a lapsed Catholic, and I'm 55"

I'm impressed at how diplomatic you were. I just say 'I don't do that' and if pressed, say that I'm not in a habit of highlighting my protected characteristics.

Hands up I would always state my pronouns in a meeting where everybody is stating theirs. I’d then never attend that meeting again but there is no way I would be supported by my extremely captured institution.

Edited to add that I am, however, very impressed with the OPs calm and measured response to this insanity.

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Yes I think also it's pointless to make a stand on this and then pretend that you are doing it because you are struggling with your own identity or because you want to protect those who are still closeted.

Imo it's simply a way to weed out the heretics.

The only problem with this is that it reinforces the concept that ‘pronouns’ are something people can ‘choose’ ( enforce) as opposed to a grammatical and linguistic sexual signifier which in 999999 : 1000000 is totally obvious after puberty, and quite often before.

Not so long ago we could have added legal to the list….

I think you have a good answer. I honestly don't know what I'd say if someone asked me this. I should probably memorise something just in case 😄

My organisation (public sector) seems to be a member of the Stonewall Diversity Champions Programme, although nobody has mentioned it for a couple of years so I don't know if we still are. However, I've only seen a few people routinely state pronouns in emails etc and nobody's ever done it (in my experience) in meetings. So it's unlikely to become an issue, I think, but you never know, if some zealot gets themselves into a position to start making demands.

Interestingly my senior manager did for a while have "she/her" in email signature, then it mysteriously vanished - so I guess she either realised or had pointed out to her that this was not as uncontroversial as she had perhaps thought.

This is because no one actually thinks you're trans unless you're a deliberate attention seeker/trouble maker/narcissist....
and all the lesser non-trans people have to pay homage and chant the mantra in order to vanquish their sin of not being trans

Well done OP, I wholeheartedly support you. Thank you for being brave.

Everyone in that room should have respected you and your views.

Requiring pronouns to be stated is distressing for people dealing with gender uncertainty. It is a transphobic act dressed up as trans-friendly.

Well done OP. That was brave and you made your point and you did it in a perfectly respectful way. Those who perceive you as transphobic will attempt to draw you out and make you say something "hateful" so not entering into discussion afterwards is sensible.

Try this link:

https://jophoenix.substack.com/p/dont-get-caught-out?r=mt0ab