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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Gisele Pelicot, utterly floored by this

382 replies

twoboystwodogs · 14/09/2024 16:55

I am totally stunned by what happened to Gisele Pelicot, it is beyond horrific. The violation, the betrayal of trust, and that so many 'normal' men thought what they were doing was OK. I am struggling to find words. I'm not wanting to belittle all the other horrendous cases of violence against women. But to be drugged in your own bed by your husband and your husband allow other men to come in and rape you and he films it and he puts it on the Internet and encourages other men to do this to their wives. For over 10 years. What the actual f###? How much more of this abuse are women going to have to take before something is really done to stop it?

BBC News - Women moved by defiant Gisèle Pelicot in France mass rape trial
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg5g24rr6lo

Gisele Pelicot

Women in France moved by defiance of Gisèle Pelicot in mass rape trial

As her story has emerged, she has become a symbol of courage and resilience.

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cvg5g24rr6lo

OP posts:
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IwantToRetire · 25/09/2024 16:49

re not showing the videos in open court

Many, many women who have suffered sexually abuse and had it videoed and shared, say they experience be re-traumatised.

I dont ever think a video that shows women or children being abused should be shown to a wider audience.

That is why those who view videos of abuse are in law deemed to be just as responsible as the person who made it.

And I hate to say it, but I dont doubt all the pervy men who love violent pornography would be rushing to fill the court.

newtlover · 25/09/2024 15:21

exactly
there are plenty of people (the majority I bet) who have experienced abuse in childhood who do not go on to abuse others- because they grew up to be adults capable of appreciating someone else's point of view and taking responsibility for their own behaviour

WitchyWitcherson · 25/09/2024 12:19

DreamHolidays · 25/09/2024 09:32

Another question for me is why is there so much time spent looking at the life and childhood of those men?

Yes most (all?) of them have had dysfunctional childhood and have suffered abuse. But are we really saying that it’s a good enough excuse for them to rape?? That somehow it makes it more understandable so they should have a lesser sentence?

Then it becomes a russian-doll of responsibility. They were likely abused by people who had been abused themselves - does that mean the abuse these men received was also forgivable?

The buck stops with the person performing the behaviour in my eyes, and a history of abuse, whilst sad, is not an excuse.

Alucard55 · 25/09/2024 12:11

DreamHolidays · 25/09/2024 09:32

Another question for me is why is there so much time spent looking at the life and childhood of those men?

Yes most (all?) of them have had dysfunctional childhood and have suffered abuse. But are we really saying that it’s a good enough excuse for them to rape?? That somehow it makes it more understandable so they should have a lesser sentence?

Exactly this. I don't feel it's relevant.

lcakethereforeIam · 25/09/2024 09:58

It's always struck me as odd that things said at sentencing can see a guilty man avoid jail altogether but if said at a parole hearing the same things can see the same man sent back to the cells.

Carouselfish · 25/09/2024 09:41

The thing I think about is how many more people have seen this and thought it sounded like a good idea. Communication as it is now gives ideas and encouragement to people who might never have crossed that line.

I'm sure I'd read the mother was still defending her husbands actions to a point? Has that changed now?

DreamHolidays · 25/09/2024 09:32

Another question for me is why is there so much time spent looking at the life and childhood of those men?

Yes most (all?) of them have had dysfunctional childhood and have suffered abuse. But are we really saying that it’s a good enough excuse for them to rape?? That somehow it makes it more understandable so they should have a lesser sentence?

DreamHolidays · 25/09/2024 09:29

ChaboTheWolfBaby · 25/09/2024 02:51

wtf! I thought she specifically wanted it open to the public?

For what I understand it’s all the videos that will be shown behind closed doors because ‘those videos are simply too upsetting’ (according to the judge)

The thing is, I think that exactly BECAUSE they are really upsetting that they should be shown.
Just like there was upsetting videos of accidents wo seatbelts to convince people to wear them.

UtterlyOtterly · 25/09/2024 08:04

The behind closed doors is absolutely not what she wanted, surely.

However, I imagine that in that small geographical area, everyone know who the accused are. There will be so many "ordinary" men missing from the community. Men not at work, children asking where their grandfather is.

I don't understand why they can't issue screen grabs from the videos of the as yet unidentified other 30. Perhaps it can't be done without showing images of GP.

So many abhorrent men, one heroic woman.

ChaboTheWolfBaby · 25/09/2024 02:51

DreamHolidays · 23/09/2024 16:41

You’ll all be relieved that the trial will now be partially under closed doors to protect these men….

wtf! I thought she specifically wanted it open to the public?

coxesorangepippin · 25/09/2024 01:46

There were no children involved, no women were killed, the family will have a hard time but they can rebuild. After all, nobody died,”

^

If the victim would have been a man (i.e. raped 80 times), do you think the mayor would have said that?

coxesorangepippin · 25/09/2024 01:44

Men don't even want to be part of the solution.

^

This is the absolute crux of the matter.

They basically don't care.

Even though they have wives, daughters, mothers etc.

They don't even want to be part of the solution

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/09/2024 00:46

Yes, I agree @HazelPlayer

HazelPlayer · 24/09/2024 18:34

It sounds highly liked he raped and murdered that estate agent.

Aren't the circumstances for the woman he raped and attempted to kill almost identical.

I guess when you've ok'd it with yourself to attack, drug, rape, stab to death and discard a young woman ..... And gone on with your daily life;

...... raping and letting a load of men rape your drugged wife, is relatively 'minor".

NoBinturongsHereMate · 24/09/2024 16:00

Dominique seems to have considered 'I was bored' as a credible defence. This whole thing left credibility behind a long time ago.

StickItInTheFamilyAlbum · 24/09/2024 15:57

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 24/09/2024 15:35

From the Guardian

.Some of the men had argued during police questioning that “if the husband was present it wasn’t rape” and “it’s his wife, he can do what he wants with her”. Gisèle

Just wow.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/sep/20/everyone-here-is-disgusted-the-village-at-the-heart-of-the-trial-that-shook-france?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

I wonder if they'll cleave to that should DP be convicted of the murders of the estate agents. "If I'd known he had a history of serial rape/murder, then perhaps I wouldn't have taken his word…".

I'd like to say it's a frankly unbelievable state of affairs but some obviously consider this to be a credible defence.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 24/09/2024 15:35

From the Guardian

.Some of the men had argued during police questioning that “if the husband was present it wasn’t rape” and “it’s his wife, he can do what he wants with her”. Gisèle

Just wow.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/sep/20/everyone-here-is-disgusted-the-village-at-the-heart-of-the-trial-that-shook-france?CMP=ShareiOSAppp_Other

ChateauMargaux · 24/09/2024 14:18

I want the mayor to be confrontes with his own words... 'nobody died, there were no children involved, we can move on'.. with the reality that this man is likely to have murdered one woman and attempted to murder to another.

I want the court to be presented with evidence that these are statically unlikely to have been isolated events.. that man who get away with pushing boundaries are statistically more likely to commit crimes against women... that women and children are harmed in the creation of porn that it is very likely that these men were consumers of.

I want all of their search histories shared.. I want the world to know that when men get away with lurking in the shadows... this is where it leads... and not only is there immeasurable hurt to the women that we know about, here in the court but to the countless women who are controlled, silenced, ignored... harmed and killed... that out society refuses to see.

Alucard55 · 24/09/2024 09:38

IwantToRetire · 24/09/2024 01:27

Asked about whether Gisele Pelicot had consented, Andy R. replied: "As the husband had given me permission, for me she agreed to it."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????

Not just raping an unconcsious woman but having no qualms about it because in his mind women are men's property, and the "property" owner had given him permission.

Are these men still living in the Stone Age?

Quote from article at https://uk.news.yahoo.com/lived-lie-tearful-witness-tells-152142671.html

I cannot believe these men are saying this and thinking it's ok.

I'm no lawyer but wouldn't the line of questioning to these scumbags be how far can a husband consent for his wife? if a husband gave you permission to cut his wife's hand off would that be ok etc.

IwantToRetire · 24/09/2024 01:27

Asked about whether Gisele Pelicot had consented, Andy R. replied: "As the husband had given me permission, for me she agreed to it."

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat????

Not just raping an unconcsious woman but having no qualms about it because in his mind women are men's property, and the "property" owner had given him permission.

Are these men still living in the Stone Age?

Quote from article at https://uk.news.yahoo.com/lived-lie-tearful-witness-tells-152142671.html

'I lived a lie', tearful witness tells French mass rape trial

A former partner of a co-defendant in a mass rape trial that has sparked horror and protests in France broke down in tears on Monday, telling the court she had "lived a lie" and might herself have been sexually assaulted."I was manipulated and lived a...

https://uk.news.yahoo.com/lived-lie-tearful-witness-tells-152142671.html

RaspberryParade · 23/09/2024 21:12

IwantToRetire · 23/09/2024 21:10

I just posted this as it is a more coherent list than other papers.

And that fact that a cold case team identified him after all those years shows how bungled the investigation at the time must have been.

But primarily the point is it would appear he has been an active sexual preditor for over 30 years.

Or at least from 1999. Can only wonder what he may have done.

At least one murder and one attempted murder.

IwantToRetire · 23/09/2024 21:10

Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/09/2024 20:58

His DNA was matched to the rape of Estella B in 1999 in 2010, but they didn't do anything about it because the case had already been closed in 2001. He was not a suspect in these crimes until recently.

I just posted this as it is a more coherent list than other papers.

And that fact that a cold case team identified him after all those years shows how bungled the investigation at the time must have been.

But primarily the point is it would appear he has been an active sexual preditor for over 30 years.

Or at least from 1999. Can only wonder what he may have done.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 23/09/2024 21:00

Police believe there are similarities in these two crimes which mean he is the prime suspect/alleged killer.