What’s to be done about the patriarchy?

I lived in a commune with two other women (and a bloke) when my kids were younger (none of the other women had kids or was ever going to have kids.
I found the other women very oppressive, much more so than the man.
Its difficult for adults to put children first in the way a parent does if they are not the parents.
I think 'the patriarchy' for want of a better term is as much in our minds, men and women and Im not sure how we will ever get out of it, not that we should not try.
I think ending neoliberal capitalism could go a long way in ending oppressive norms in society as a start.

Have all women short lists to get women into powerful positions where they can activate change
Free childcare
Flexible working
Ban violent and degrading porn
Six months compulsory paternal leave
Socialise boys to be responsible, respectful and considerate human beings
Eliminate the objectification of women in the media
Fine organisations who don't have equal pay or gender parity
Have better trained police and police on the beat to deal with sexual harassment and ensure women's safety
On the spot fines for sexual harassment
Swift justice and long sentencing for VAWAG
Teach girls to expect respect

There’s a story about a troop of baboons (garbage dump troop, if anyone wants to google) with particularly aggressive males, who all feasted from a rubbish tip, not allowing the females and the lesser males to join them.

They got food poisoning and died, leaving a very peaceful and more matriarchal troop of baboons, which remained peaceful for many years.

Perhaps something like this could be arranged for human males? (Half joking)

I’ve also been thinking about this a lot too and have decided to decenter men as much as possible.

I am mindful to seek out women’s content (podcasts, books, YouTube) over men’s. Other than that I have started women’s-only WhatsApp groups for my hobbies. I would like to only deal with women-founded businesses so I really need to find a lady handyman!

I aim to not deal with men unless I absolutely have to for work.

I'm also very single with a capital S.

Hi, daily lurker, very occasional poster here.

I've been thinking about this A LOT for some time now.

I'm very interested in the 4B movement and it's occured to me that women could end patriarchy by simply... stepping aside from it. Not every revolution / change of the guard is violent, and in fact, the most successful revolutions are non violent and are more likely to have non violent outcomes (Erica Chenoweth - great Ted talk on this).

Now that we can enter professions, earn money, have our own bank accounts, own property and have the same legal recognition as men, I think it's possible.

The one thing that would hold us back from ending patriarchy though is our fertility. Because when we are pregnant, give birth, and are postpartum, we are at our most vulnerable physically, emotionally, and financially. If we can avoid this vulnerability then we could end patriarchy.

If women refused to marry men and refused to bear their children then we don't enter that vulnerability.

Women who want children could cohabit with women friends. We could find other women who we like enough to live with and have our children in households headed by women. We could support each other and may even provide better support than many men currently do for many women.

Now, this only works if pregnancy is achieved via sperm donation banks, and this brings me to the biggest flaw in my theory.

The most vulnerable aspect for women is our fertility. We are vulnerable when we give birth, and we are vulnerable because we care so much for the welfare of our children. This can be used as leverage to get women to stay in bad relationships, in family courts, in divorce.

An extremely radical idea would be this. What if the law were changed so that men had absolutely no legal rights to any of their offspring? Then women could arrange their affairs with children to not be beholden to men. I think the flipside of this would have to be that men have no financial responsibility for their offspring either.

If men had on legal rights to their offspring they'd have to be pretty damn careful who they impregnated. Don't choose a woman who might not want much more to do with you sir, you may never see her again.

Okay, these thoughts are milling about and have been in my head for some time. The 4B movement I think started this and is very interesting, as those women are living their lives and can continue to do so without reference to men in a way women have not been able to do for... ever? It gives me a glimpse of how it could be to end patriarchy by stepping away from it.