Mandated to give my ten year old's pronouns - how to respond

I agree with the OP that this should not be a mandatory question on a registration form (especially one for children), however, being mis-sexed can absolutely be a humiliated experience, especially as a child.

I was once publicly mistaken for a boy in my early teens and it stuck with me for a very long time, as I was already self-conscious about my appearance compared to my peers (I never felt as pretty as them, and this comment validated that).

Since when was it agreed that being accidentally mis sexed was such a massively huge irrecoverable incident?

as opposed to you know life???

one of my sisters ex bf saw a photo of me sitting down from the back when I had really short hair - he said “who’s that bloke?”

oddly I didn’t fall to the floor wailing about literal violence & how I couldn’t cope. I just laughed and said “that’s me” he went red and apologised and then life went on as normal

My reading of the op is that the form already asks about sex (although they call it gender) and that preferred pronouns are a separate question, so I'm not sure what these concerns about accidental mis-sexing are based on.

Yes it might be obvious for your own particular child, but this is not the case for all children.
Add into the mix a unisex name and you have an upset child being misgendered - easily avoided with a pronoun started on a form.

The reason I am pro stating pronouns is - this helps children (with children it’s not so easy at a glance to tell) who aren’t clearly boy or girl.
so if you are a long haired boy mistaken for ‘she’ a parent had stated ‘he’ on the intake form and it stops the child having to explain themselves.

This doesn't have to be met with immediate aggression?

Maybe they've had an embarrassing moment when an adult called a long haired boy "she" or a short haired girl "he"?
My mate has a name that could be male or female, and when he had long hair he was often mistaken for a girl - could this be a way that they are trying to avoid this? Could it be that they've borrowed some resources from another company and not looked over them thoroughly?

not everyone thinks as hard about gender as mumsnetters, and sometimes its actually more productive to just have a little chat rather than bowling in with a Cass Report in a ring binder......

I agree.

I'm not sure what you "think I'm doing", could you clarify what my supposed agenda is?

Your hobby group teacher might well never call your daughter 'he', however they theoretically might call my son 'she' if they didn't have information to the contrary. Would you assume they were only doing so because they were weird, provocative or trying to prove some kind of point?

Your daughter might think it's odd if she's very conventionally female in her name and appearance. I think the rest of the adjectives you used were a reach and reflective of your own negative mindset.

Having pronouns noted for your child might seem an unnecessary overreach for you/her. For others, myself included, it's actually helpful info for people to know, and my child isn't even transgender.

Maybe it's them being startled at the aggression and negative presumption in your question and deciding not to engage with someone who is clearly just looking to pick a fight?

The evangelicals are out tonight providing us with their scriptures to learn!

I've not really come across as anyone who has answered back to be honest, maybe it's my resting bitch face.

What gives you the right to ask this information, is your intention to force people who might not be ready do declare their pronouns publicly to live a lie because you're nosey?

How do people usually respond to you when you do this?

And what do you say if they say something quite reasonable in response, like:

"Oh! Not at all. I was asking because some people have preferred pronouns these days and it makes them feel included/comfortable when asked. I'm not intending to force anyone to 'live a lie'. I would think if someone is not ready to be 'out' as transgender, they already encounter situations where they privately feel misgendered, but choose not to 'out themselves' in those situations too. And asking them about pronouns now hopefully makes them feel safer in eventually coming out when they are ready."

I have never given pronouns when asked, I work in a field where I'd just lose my business if I got labelled a TERF. So instead I just make anyone asking intensely uncomfortable. Along the lines of...

What gives you the right to ask this information, is your intention to force people who might not be ready do declare their pronouns publicly to live a lie because you're nosey?

It's not what I want to say, but I don't have JKR's bank balance and have a mortgage to pay.

So it's my compromise, make them squirm in the hope it will stop them fucking asking. I really wish I was braver, and that it was safe for the average Woman to have a voice.

Why do you assume that anyone who gets a pronoun wrong is 'weird', 'silly', 'ridiculous', 'has a problem' or is 'a douchebag'.

As mentioned upthread, my son has been misgendered repeatedly through his life for no apparent reasons other than having longish hair, wearing purple fairly regularly and perhaps having lovely dark eyelashes. To me he appears to be pretty clearly male but obviously other people struggle to discern this easily. They are just mistaken, there is nothing sinister, stupid or aggressive about their mistake.

LOL okay so it seems you're determined to be upset no matter what grammar is used, which makes your objection to it on the basis of the word 'have' seem a little disingenuous.

I think everyone else knows exactly what I meant. 🤣

There aren't any ways of talking about people who are pretending to be the opposite sex that makes sense.

Would you be less upset if the question was “What pronouns would you like others to use for you?”

The definition of have and has is possess, own, or hold.
"he had a new car and a boat"

There is no sense of "having" pronouns.