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Original poster

Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

320 replies

Bunty2727 · 14/07/2024 10:52

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

OP posts:
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6
MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:27

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:26

Who's going hold the baby for him whiles he's attacking these women?

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Do you think he cares?

MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Men will pretend to be gay to lure women into a false sense of safety prior to raping them. They will present TV shows dedicated to making sick kids dreams come true to lure kids and their parents into a false sense of safety.

Realistically, the question shouldn't be "is there a publicised instance of men using X to facilitate rape?", given how few rapes are ever reported. The question should be "what stops a man from using X to facilitate rape?".

Tell me that you don't have the security mindset without telling me that you don't have the security mindset.

The Security Mindset - Schneier on Security

https://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2008/03/the_security_mi_1.html

SilenceInside · 15/07/2024 13:26

He can do what women do all the time when caring for babies with no baby change available, which is to find somewhere out of the way to change the baby on the floor on a change mat, or similar. And then carry the bagged-up dirty nappy home.

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:26

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:22

How do you know whether it's a genuine shitty nappy case or a sexual predator?

How would you know? After a woman or girl has been attacked?

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Who's going hold the baby for him whiles he's attacking these women?

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/07/2024 13:25

Nosummerontheagenda · 15/07/2024 12:58

It’s a sad thing when a father with a baby is perceived to be a predator. Those of us with sons or husbands in this position ought to have a bit more empathy.

Yes, but we also know our own husbands/partners would never dream of going into the ladies...even with a baby with a soiled nappy. They'd come up with some other solution.

Dumbo12 · 15/07/2024 13:23

The lack of understanding of reality is, imo, one reason why we will never eradicate the sexual abuse of women and girls. No, not all men abuse, but the ones who do don't wear a badge to tell us they do. Men and it is still overwhelmingly men, sexually abuse women and girls. Some of those men are fathers, some predate the baby sitter, some go "hunting" with a Baby seat in their car. Anyone who minimises this risk puts more women and girls at risk and also reduce the help available to survivors of sexual assault, by minimising it.
Women fought for single sex public lavatories, to enable women to participate in civic life. Women require single sex spaces for dignity, privacy and safety.

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:22

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:19

Actually this is the only time I would 100% stand in solidarity with men using the ladies. If there's no changing table in the men's, what's he supposed to do? Leave his baby with a shitty nappy?

How do you know whether it's a genuine shitty nappy case or a sexual predator?

How would you know? After a woman or girl has been attacked?

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:22

SummerSnowstorm · 14/07/2024 12:10

He's hardly going to seem threatening whilst carrying his baby.
YABU and letting perverts "identifying" as certain way to gain access influence normal peoples lives.
A baby shouldn't stay in a dirty nappy while being carried potentially a long way looking for somewhere else just to have to set a hard line to avoid creeps coming in. 10 years back this wouldn't have been a problem.

Completely agree.
The baby's needs are paramount in my opinion.

Shortshriftandlethal · 15/07/2024 13:21

Peonies12 · 15/07/2024 10:53

I'm sure he didn't want to go in the female toilet, but what else is he meant to do? Baby changing should be separate so anyone can access it who needs it. In that scenario I wouldn't have challenged him, it's not his fault the baby change is in there. And you're in a cubicle, so why does it matter. Much easier if all toilets were enclosed cubicles anyone can use.

How do you change a baby in a toilet cubicle? Lay the baby across the toilet? Doesn't sound likely.

Nosummerontheagenda · 15/07/2024 13:19

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:19

Actually this is the only time I would 100% stand in solidarity with men using the ladies. If there's no changing table in the men's, what's he supposed to do? Leave his baby with a shitty nappy?

Apparently yes. In case he’s a rapist with a doll.

PuttingDownRoots · 15/07/2024 13:19

Well if it never happens, and men are welcome in the ladies, why have separate toilets in the first place?

Kendodd · 15/07/2024 13:19

Actually this is the only time I would 100% stand in solidarity with men using the ladies. If there's no changing table in the men's, what's he supposed to do? Leave his baby with a shitty nappy?

Nosummerontheagenda · 15/07/2024 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:15

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:11

Ah so you admit it's never happened but you're waiting for it to happen?

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Men have raped babies. https://nypost.com/2005/06/07/vile-perv-bust-raped-infant-cops/ Literally nothing stops them from taking a baby into the loo as a pretext for raping an adult woman.

VILE ‘PERV’ BUST – RAPED INFANT: COPS

A twisted Ohio lawyer who cops say raped a 4-month-old infant, took pictures of the heinous act and then fled to New York was nabbed yesterday living under an assumed name in California. Pretty-boy…

https://nypost.com/2005/06/07/vile-perv-bust-raped-infant-cops

MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:14

Mrsttcno1 · 15/07/2024 12:34

I’m so confused by this, I’m not sugar coating anything, I’m literally stating the facts for the majority of places where we live. The baby changing facilities and the ladies toilets are both in the same place. When we go to our local cafe and my husband asked where baby changing is, they literally pointed him to where it is- it’s in the same place as the women’s toilets. That is the space assigned equally for changing as it is for women’s toilets.

That’s the fault of the business, not any dad.

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When a business does this, they are committing sex discrimination. This should be protested and litigated against, not tolerated.

Brefugee · 15/07/2024 13:13

Mrsttcno1 · 15/07/2024 12:34

I’m so confused by this, I’m not sugar coating anything, I’m literally stating the facts for the majority of places where we live. The baby changing facilities and the ladies toilets are both in the same place. When we go to our local cafe and my husband asked where baby changing is, they literally pointed him to where it is- it’s in the same place as the women’s toilets. That is the space assigned equally for changing as it is for women’s toilets.

That’s the fault of the business, not any dad.

Edited
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and did he then say: well that's shit because i don't want to go in the ladies toilet?

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:13

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:10

I feel so sorry and concerned for the handmaidens on this thread and in rl.

To be so naive and # be kind to men.

Let's the rest of us down massively. We're trying to protect ourselves and daughters.

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Well welll we have husbands, sons and daughters. So trump your paranoia.

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:11

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:00

No, so let's just wait for one, shall we ?

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Ah so you admit it's never happened but you're waiting for it to happen?

MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:11

Nosummerontheagenda · 15/07/2024 12:33

A predator with a baby?

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It's been heard of for sexual predators to have children, believe it or not.

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:10

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:00

You really need counselling. Rapist's using babies, dolls. Trans barging in.

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I feel so sorry and concerned for the handmaidens on this thread and in rl.

To be so naive and # be kind to men.

Let's the rest of us down massively. We're trying to protect ourselves and daughters.

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:09

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:02

Again, this is what predators rely on.
People like yourself.

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OH fhs you're suggesting a father leaves his baby on a changing table, grabs you for a quicky and attends to their baby. Go find a counsellor

MaidOfAle · 15/07/2024 13:03

Mrsttcno1 · 15/07/2024 10:59

This is really common, I don’t know of many places near us that have baby changing totally separate, it’s usually the case that it is “ladies toilets AND baby changing”. If that’s the case and you’re a man out with a baby, that’s where you change the baby. It’s the fault of the venues for making it this way but in those instances it is not JUST a ladies toilet, it is both that and the baby changing facilities, which means anyone who has a baby has just as much right to he in there as a woman using the toilet. My husband hates this because he always worries about going into ladies toilets even with our daughter to change a nappy but equally isn’t happy to change our daughters nappy in the middle of a cafe (nor would I be happy with that, or I imagine any other people using the cafe when there’s been a poo explosion🤣)

This arrangement constitutes sex discrimination by giving men single-sex loos but denying women single-sex loos.

On FWR, I should not have to explain that giving women a lesser level of privacy than men is sex discrimination.

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:02

Nosummerontheagenda · 15/07/2024 12:58

It’s a sad thing when a father with a baby is perceived to be a predator. Those of us with sons or husbands in this position ought to have a bit more empathy.

Again, this is what predators rely on.
People like yourself.

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 13:00

Berryberries · 15/07/2024 12:52

Unfortunately all of this happened to a family member. More likely to be attacked and SA'd in your own home by someone you know. Do have a few news articles where a dad changing his baby in public has SA'd a random woman?

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No, so let's just wait for one, shall we ?

justasking111 · 15/07/2024 13:00

Petitchat · 15/07/2024 12:47

Are you also on the fence when rapists pretend to be transwomen and get put into womens prisons?

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You really need counselling. Rapist's using babies, dolls. Trans barging in.