Single sex spaces aren’t just about safety – they are about community

My hijabi colleague used to adjust her headscarf in the ladies toilets. Taking it off, redoing her hair in the mirror before refitting it.
She would not be able to do this in a mixed sex space.

*They will say that it is privileged and entitled to demand female joy at a time when transwomen are also being victimised by a harsh and violent world. To this one might respond – with civility and kindness – that there is more than one solution to this problem.

That would not be my civil and kind response to someone who claims that 'transwomen are also being victimised by a harsh and violent world.' *

Mine neither. Nothing wrong with finding joy in a harsh world.

Men's misery is not women's problem to solve. We are not service humans.

I'm happy to support someone in finding their joy, but not to sacrifice myself for their quest.

It is a bit odd, isn't it? I was waiting for her to go on and talk about the spiffing midnight feasts with tucker smuggled in from the dorm that go on in women's toilets...🙄

The article just doesn't hold together well, the author seems not to have a solid take on the issues in question:

... They will say that it is privileged and entitled to demand female joy at a time when transwomen are also being victimised by a harsh and violent world. To this one might respond – with civility and kindness – that there is more than one solution to this problem.

That would not be my civil and kind response to someone who claims that 'transwomen are also being victimised by a harsh and violent world.'
I would quote the writer's own words
One in four biological women will experience domestic abuse at the hands of a male perpetrator at least once in their lifetime. A minimum of two biological women are killed by a former or current male partner every week.
and ask what the comparable stats are for transwomen.

It's as if she has taken random bits of argument from here and there and put them side by side.. Odd.

Me neither. We don't have wet t shirt competitions or pillow fights in there either.

I suppose there could be a new bonding opportunity in reminding other women who have been targetted that they should never ever use a tampon offered by a stranger.

coming to her rescue with a spare sanitary pad.

Oh not this one again. I'm late 50s and have never, ever, given or taken sanitary protection from some randomer, or even a friend, in the ladies.

"Critics of this stance will call it elitist and idealistic. They will say that it is privileged and entitled to demand female joy at a time when transwomen are also being victimised by a harsh and violent world. To this one might respond – with civility and kindness – that there is more than one solution to this problem. Biological women’s spaces that exclude transwomen do not have to prohibit the formation of transwomen-only spaces that may very well exclude biological women. Biological women’s spaces do not have to exist at the expense of transwomen-only spaces. So on and so forth."
I think this is brilliant.
Female joy, exactly.
As Sal Grover, "Because we want them."

Addiction support groups is another one. The atmosphere is totally different when it's women listening to women, versus mixed-sex groups.

Problem is when it's advertised as women-only it's a magnet for TIMs. We want a space away from creepy men and then the creepiest type of the lot wanders in, trying to insert themselves in our conversation.

There’s something about the energy in a woman (as in female ) only space.
When I was one day overdue with DC3 I took DC2 to our regular toddler group which was normally a mix of mums and dads. That day by coincidence it was all mums and we spent the session sharing birth stories. It felt like a very intimate feminine space and somehow seemed to ease me into the mindspace of birth- she was born that evening! Obviously I know it didn’t literally bring on labour but having even one male there would not have allowed that atmosphere to develop.

Overall I agree with that article. I don't think it is saying that women's toilets are necessary for camaraderie, but that women's spaces in general are about more than safety. Safety is the foundation of growth. It should be implicit in women's spaces, giving room to cultivate and perpetuate female solidarity, camaraderie, and joy. You may not have social chat with strangers in the loos, but I'm sure many of us have recognised or been a woman or child needing help and offered our support.

The environments that allow us to cultivate and perpetuate female solidarity, camaraderie, and joy extend beyond toilets. Spaces such as lesbian bars, breastfeeding cafes, the WI, DA refuges, women's sports - all spaces that have been invaded, colonised and damaged by trans ideology.

The writer is naive, though, if they think that trans identified people will use community spaces aimed at them. Women seek community with other women because of our shared experiences. Trans people seek community with members of the opposite sex because they lack those shared experiences and are trying to experience them vicariously. Or envy them and therefore need to destroy what they cannot have.

I am astonished that this was written by a woman. She suggests we need to have female only spaces so we can...share cooking hacks like how to peel garlic?! Is this for real? Was this written in the 50s?

The bottom line is this. Women do not need to justify why we want female only spaces. It is simply enough that we want and need them.

If any justification should be required: it is for our safety, privacy and dignity.

Men don't need to know what we are doing in the loos or changing rooms. They can piss off with their voyeuristic curiosity. (But I can tell them this for free: we aren't discussing peeling garlic.)

What a weird article. I'm about to spend most of the day at a craft guild meeting where all the members are women (though I don't think men are barred), so when I saw the thread title, I thought 'Yes! Absolutely!'. But the bit about complimenting a woman on her outfit anc sharing sanitary items sounds exactly like a men's / transwoman's fantasy of what goes on in women's loos. Ridiculous, and kind of patronising.

Women-only toilets are not just a shelter away from the harassment of men. They are also the location in which a canon event can take place: that of one woman complimenting another over the colour of her dress or, more seriously, coming to her rescue with a spare sanitary pad.
Isn't this a TRA argument? They are all keen to share their sanitary items with women; not realising women hardly ever do this.

I think this article is missing a few important points;

1. If you remove single-sex spaces then you exclude some women from society - for starters I no longer go to my favourite cafe, local theatre, swimming pool or use changing rooms in shops as they are now mixed-sex. Now times this by 34.5 million women in the UK and you have a major problem, you are looking at the destruction of society as we have known it. (Yes, yes I know not all women)
2. Women have not been consulted, just expected to deal with it on top of having to deal with everything else which is offensive and makes women worry.
3. When women state they want single-sex spaces and point out they are now excluded from their own spaces, the answer should not be aggression, name-calling and acts of violence!

It started well and I thought it was going to be explaining why things like breast feeding groups, women's institute etc should be single sex biologically but then it completely lost track with the complementing women and sharing sanitary protection. I ended up not convinced that its not trying to say that transwomen should be included to participate in the camaraderie because safety isn't the only thing that matters.

These spaces were not created out of a desire to validate one another’s gender identity, but from the need to be seen and heard.

This comment resonates with me, in mixed sex spaces the male of the species tends to dominate the conversation, activity etc.

These places should not be used solely as hideaways from the world, in which victimised women take shelter, but rather as places to cultivate and perpetuate female solidarity, camaraderie, and joy.

Bookmarking to read tomorrow but I hope to god they're not talking about loos.