Whilst RHSE can definitely be beneficial, it is almost certainly the subject that cause the most harm if done badly. And arguably the most vulnerable children to that harm are children who have been subjected to abuse. RHSE absolutely needs limits placed upon into to mitigate the risks of harm. Sometimes this limits need to be age-related because of the cognitive development of children and sometimes they might be to be trauma-informed limits.
There are many issues when delivering education to abused children. There is likely to be at least one sexually abused child in each class and do to the very nature of abuse and grooming then the vast majority of children will reach adulthood without disclosing to a protective adult. Therefore when delivering RHSE it will often not be known which children are particularly vulnerable as a result of abuse.
From the age of 7 (possibly younger) until into my teens I was subjected to sexual abuse. Here are some of the reasons based on my own childhood experiences why RHSE needs very definite limits.
RHSE will rarely, if ever, be able to empower children to stop abuse. This is what many organisations assert (including the NSPCC/Childline). At best it will be able to inform a child about how to get help and what that help might look like and that they are not to blame for the abuse and that there are laws which recognise their vulnerability and that mean that they won’t be blamed by reasonable adults.
Explicit RHSE, or even an hour long lesson all about sexual abuse, risks that child feeling deeply unsafe. Maybe because she (or he) fears that someone will figure out it has happened to her and she will feel exposed and ashamed. Maybe because she suddenly fears for the first time that images of her are being seen on the internet, like porn is. Maybe because she/he can hear the voice of her abuser in her head telling her that she wanted it. Whatever the reason is, the result may well be to disassociate from the lesson as far as possible- in much the same way she would when being abused. This is not only then deeply traumatising and harmful as it is associated in her mind with being abused, but it will also likely have the impact of closing down the idea of school as a place that would be safe to disclose. It will also put her on ‘alert’ to be ready to disassociate in way that will not draw attention to her during other RHSE lessons. IMO, little bits of advice about how to get help etc from a teacher known to them throughout the school year is far more likely to reach into an abused child’s mind without causing trauma.
School children, unlike most adults, cannot leave a lesson (without drawing attention to themselves or getting into trouble) therefore they are compelled to sit and listen and sometimes engage in the activities. An adult subjected to rape recently would not usually be forced to sit through a session that describes what rape is or what porn could show. A 12 or 14 year old girl will have no choice about listening to a lesson about rape or porn or drawing a picture of a ‘dick pic’, rolling a body parts sex dice, or indeed modelling a penis out of Playdoh, if that is what she is told to do the morning after she has been ***.
Many predators will have the ability to use what is taught in school to their advantage. I see some of what I was told by my abuser, in what children are taught today. For example, about consent, secrets, ‘love has no age’ or about how I was responsible for what happened because i didn’t react age 7 years, like other children might if they didn’t want it. (NSPCC and Jigsaw amongst others). There needs to clear limits on what can be said to children at each age based on understanding of how children interpret things and the strategies predators use to groom and manipulate children.
Sometimes giving children too much knowledge about abuse means that they interpret this as it being their responsibility to stop it happening. They then feel shame that they have not stopped it - making it potentially easier for the abuser to use their ‘shame’ and ‘guilt’ to protect himself and carry on.
Sometimes too much information given to a child could be used to explain away red flags in what a child is describing.
An abused child, may like any other child just not be developmentally ready to understand and process some information in a way that is not harmful to them.
Of course, I do not think that RHSE should only be established around the needs of children who have been abused. But the delivery of it should absolutely not cause further harm and trauma to them.
I also do not think that children should be given developmentally and age-inappropriate lessons because of arguments that it will help abused children to ‘protect themselves’.
Sorry if I haven’t written this very clearly.