An alarming rise in #TradWife and #PrincessTreatment aspirations?

@Whatevershallidowithmylife were you a "tradwife" though. Or just a mum that stayed home with their kids as a perfectly normal joint family decision. And was happy doing so but didn't bang on about it. Also, I am guessing you werent submissive to your husband which seems to be part of the trend sometimes. There seems to be a weird trend to make everything an "identity" rather than just accepting that we do different things at different stages in life.

MN is the only SM I have. Also tables now turned as DH has become my trad husband as due to cancers he does everything for me and in the house.

I was a trad wife and I loved it. DH was also happy with it. All the £ went in one account and we spent as required. Eventually I went to work but never for a minute regretted those years. Never felt anything other than an equal partnership to us. It was what I wanted and DH was delighted to be able to make it happen. Doesn’t mean I’m any less than a career family who spend so much time at work they’re run ragged, hardly see their kids and spend a lot of time bemoaning their situation. I had it better in my view but ultimately everyone entitled to choose

Every case I've seen so far has been religiously motivated. They seem to belong to extreme sects that demand they wear Little house on the prairie type clothes and submit to their husbands. They portray it as their choice, their calling in life etc but most if not all of them probably know nothing else. And yes they are being exploited as their "trad" husbands muscle in on the income from social media. They are very vulnerable and it is nothing to aspire to. To be clear I'm not talking about people in equal partnerships who have made an informed choice to be a SAHM here.

Agree, @Viviennemary
Also though, if I make a beautiful pie and spend time decorating it with intricate pastry designs on top, its because I have unusually got time to do it, and choose to spend that rare time on it because I want to. This makes it extremely enjoyable and relaxing in a mindful way. Its a treat. If I was a stay at home mum and was baking the same complicated pie everyday for my husband and children because it was what felt necessary - I would be bored stiff and it would feel like a massive chore. I would be really resentful that the kids were finally of to sleep, and all the housework done but I still had to bake the sodding pie before I could relax.

I don't think humans are meant to feel perfectly content and happy all the time. The internet sort of gives the impression we could if only our lives were different. It becomes more risky when it gets oddly tied up with political ideals.

Women's lives I think have got more stressful. Expected to do everything. Go to work, arrange children's activities, ferry them to and fro, cook, clean. And be very grateful their DH helps. Hmm not sure this is very ideal.

I think part of it is the usual projecting a perfect life/people following a fantasy online. Its nice looking at beautifully baked pies, and cottage core and clean rosy cheeked children. I have no interest in trad-wife Instagram - but have always had an imaginary life where I live in a beautiful cottage with roses on the door and a stunning garden with a vegetable patch and an orchard etc etc. It becomes a problem when people get sucked into that world/judge themselves against it or take it too seriously.

Social media has a lot to answer for. It's currently a popular female influencer niche particularly in semi-religious circles and western audiences.

Like any social media portrayal it's papering over the cracks and presenting an aspirational lifestyle. The women are being coy in that either their husband works a lucrative job (sometimes something very 'modern' like an IT contractor) to foot the bill of the family's supposedly 'simple, traditional' lifestyle. Or else one salary doesn't provide all that well and their social media influencing or MLM income is topping up the coffers. Sometimes they're far out-earning their husband's income. Apparently neither of these count as women working and are swept under the rug 🙄

Some of the husbands actually seem rather inept and lazy, not the 'traditional, masculine providers' they're supposed to portray. Quite a lot abandon their jobs when it's clear the wife is the main breadwinner particularly if their influencer income is good to high. Some try to cuckoo their way into 'leading' their wife's brand (which she developed, runs, is the 'star' of and attracts a predominantly female audience). I'm aware of more then a few religious fundamentalist accounts where the influencer income isn't there yet and the husband still refuses to work. The women are being abused or at the very least taken advantage of while they try to get their channel off the ground, financially support the family, do childcare, cook, clean, worry about impending homelessness and are often pregnant.

Of course all this influencing relies on exploiting their children, unconsenting minors.

The niche seems to have taken off as it relies on the popular female influencer tropes of attractive appearance (hair and make up being just so, slim with an enviable wardrobe), instagrammable home decor (modern farmhouse is best; use one part of your home as your 'set' if the rest is less aspirational and/or cluttered), engagement/wedding content followed by new pregnancy and newborn content approximately every 18 months to 2 years, wholesome cooking/baking content (overlaps with the sourdough and raw milk fads), idealized family content emphasising the youngest kids and so on.

I just find it really disingenuous and rather predatory. This set up is only going to work for a small and privileged proportion of SAHMs whereas these influencers are trying to pretend to their audience that it suits all women/couples. You're just not trying hard enough if it doesn't work for you. More guilt. Not everyone can conjure up a long-term, reliable social media income and the niche is saturated as it is. It's setting women up for failure and financial insecurity while profiting off a naive audience ( via monetisation, advertising, sponsorships, engagement, algorithms etc).

To a degree I agree with you. It’s not what I’d choose for my children, male or female.

Our mothers and grandmothers fought for us to have the right to choose, not for SAHM as an option to cease.

Something I’ve noticed in the last few years is that women who appear to have it all - careers, children, often lead very hectic and difficult lives as they are still the default parent. The one who has to juggle her life to fit everything else in, pick up ill children, make sure uniform is clean and dry, do the bulk of housework. It’s rarely men who pick up the slack.

The 4G movement in South Korea is a result of that. I suspect the tradwife stuff is just a different manifestation of the same thing. 4g - women are sick of having to be everything to everyone so they cut out the man and children part. Tradwives opt out of the work and outside life thing.