Smear appointment reminder with a Mx

I’d have said ‘seriously - you don’t know if this person is a man or a woman?’

never met a male Mx though.

You don't have to fight stupid with stupid, really. You can just accept that women have a right to choose the sex of their intimate care providers for whatever reason.
I am sure male HCPs will survive having their feelings hurt.

Well perhaps you should actually listen rather than being dismissive.

It's an intimate examination. There are reasons why some women might only want a female. Some are to do with a previous traumatic experience. Others might not be allowed to due to their faith.

This is ok. It's an intimate procedure which has extra sensitivities. The same actually applies to men for intimate procedures because there is extra concerns over consent.

What you say pressures women into situations they are uncomfortable in. This could constitute undue pressure in certain situations. It undermines the principles of informed consent.

It never fails to amaze me how narrow-minded people who think they are inclusive sometimes are when they do performative virtue signalling that they don't care and they don't understand other people's problems. Acknowledge other people have different values and life experience and it is worthy of respect in this country to not adhere to the idea that a male is a female and that there are sex based rights to privacy and dignity.

Sorry I see you spoke to somebody I don't why Keri chose Mx Keri is a tool!

I'd call if you don't want a (man) person with Penis definitely contact them.

Why does it matter to you if other women are only comfortable with females for such an intimate procedure?

At least fifth of women are sexually assaulted at some point and 99.999% it’s by a male. Is it really a stretch to understand that a lot of those women might find an intimate procedure very uncomfortable, triggering or even distressing if it’s performed by a man?

And for some women it’s just for their own privacy, dignity and comfort levels. In the same way it’s more dignified and private to have female-only changing room spaces and toilets, that can also extend to being naked/exposed in medical situations and being more comfortable with only females there.

I couldn’t care less about offending male doctors.

Imagine Keri just chose Mx on the drop down form because she thought it was a nice neutral title like Dr, and then she has to read reams of your frothing lol

Surely the argument here, is that titles are reductive and sexist and shouldnt be used AT ALL?

No one is sexualising a medical procedure

Have you read the thread?

Here is the thing. By Keri bringing his or her politics to work, he or she is putting the OP off attending her smear. It has undermined trust in her GP practice and the OP no longer has full confidence that her dignity will be respected.

This isn't patient centred care.

In this case the OP has tried to follow up and clarify the situation, but a) initially felt they may be committing a hate crime for asking despite this being an intimate examination b) still doesn't have complete trust in the GP telling the truth because of publicised cases of NHS trusts gaslighting patients and staff.

A reminder: you can always refuse to have an intimate examination with ANYONE you don't feel comfortable with. If you are pressured because otherwise you are transphobic or because 'there isn't anyone else' this isn't ok - consent given under pressure isnt valid. It's under duress.

The point here is how many other patients who have a similar letter, won't attend their smear? Even one is too many as it's a potential harm.

OP I would put this in writing and say you feel it's insensitive and potentially unprofessional. If the staff member in question is trans or non-binary patient should be fully informed. This might be different for other situations or other medical examination but absolutely not ok for smears.

OP walk out if you feel uncomfortable in anyway.

Well yes, because it is just as stupid logic saying that they might just be in the profession to get off on women's bits if they're a man than if it's a woman who's a lesbian too must be - both ridiculous and offensive scenarios, think that's the whole point being made!

@BeachParty Yes that person can be ignored. The point is women must have the power to choose in intimate procedures. In case of emergencies, obviously not. But for a smear test or similar, choice should be allowed.

No one is sexualising a medical procedure. The worry is that the male doctor will sexually assault us. This is especially a worry for people who are traumatised from previous assault and abuse, and who as a result are unable to have men perform intimate exams. There is no evidence of lesbians being prone to assault, the same cannot be said of men. Hope that clears things up.

I am gobsmacked that if my 80 year old mum asks for a female nurse to help her go to the loo or help her bathe, it might be interpreted as sexualising the situation. We must put up with anyone that offers!

Someone on the thread already has tried to insinuate that any men in the profession is only doing it as a sexual fetish though.

I'm confused, are lesbians not women?

Of course. Dr is fine. Any title is fine if it accurately identifies the person.
I suppose I worded my post badly anyway. Male hcp is fine to me. Female hcp is fine to me. Hcp who doesn't understand biology enough to know that male and female don't change not so fine for me.

Although, on the other hand, I might not necessarily know it was a transperson. Maybe I'm outraged for nothing

It doesn't matter what the prefix is. You are perfectly entitled to ask. The amount of, presumably, women getting all huffy because another woman might have & enforce boundaries though is quite a sight to see.

Eh? I don't think men will be turned on by my saggy genitals or boobs. I prefer women because I am more comfortable with women. I have no problem with a lesbian examing me.
Women wanting women to do intimate procedures is now sexualisation? So many handmaidens!

That's you sexualising it. Unable to conceive of any other reason that someone may want female care. Well done you <insert inane emoji>

I'd imagine the most likely possibility would be a (natal) female nurse who identifies as non-binary or some such like. Can't imagine the average TW would forgo an opportunity to revel in Ms- or Miss-ness.

I genuinely can't understand why so many women want a female doing a Medical procedure other than that you are literally sexualising a Medical procedure.
What if it's end up being a lesbian?🤣

What a confusion! I would want a definite female nurse - I think I would cancel and rebook for another date - maybe try to book with who you went with last time (if it was the same practice). A smear is bad enough at the best of times without worrying about this too :(

Would you also ask for your C-section, emergency or otherwise, to be solely done by male staff? Honestly, I don't get this at all. Ask for a chaperone if you wish, but medical professionals are just that, medical professionals.

My boss uses MX because she hates the idea of titles - AT ALL. Because they are sexist and outdated.