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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How should I vote

32 replies

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 08/06/2024 17:04

I have a dilemma about how to vote on July 4th. The variables:

  1. My eldest child (almost 18) identifies as trans.
  2. I find this really, really difficult. By instinct, I'm fairly gender-critical and believe in the preservation of biologically selective women's spaces, sports etc.
  3. On the other hand, after a recent massive falling out with child, I vowed to suppress my feelings and try to support them and their identity as much as I can. Relationship with child more important than my feelings, etc.
  4. Now to the GE. My MP is a massive, vocal, trans-advocate. It's a safe seat and she doesn't need my vote, but any of the parties I would entertain voting for (ie not Conservative or Reform) are all v liberal on the subject of trans identity. On this policy point, I wouldn't choose any of the parties but I'm open to Labour if their manifesto reassures me that they've learned something from Cass.
However, however, the bloody MP! She'd put Cass in the shredder. Voting for her would be the right thing by my child, probably the right thing to do in relation to the bigger picture, but deeply, deeply the wrong thing by my (feminist) heart. Can't see any independents worth the vote, and I've never yet spoilt my paper. Is this the only thing I can do in good conscience?

What would you do, wise ones?

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Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 10/06/2024 23:11

UtopiaPlanitia · 10/06/2024 22:32

A lot of people don’t realise that NI has MPs elected to Hoc, and Lords sitting in HoL, and that NI voters vote in UK general elections 🤷‍♀️ Or they do remember this but see it as irrelevant to wider UK politics for some reason.

But it was still an interesting article because it sums up how so many of us are between a rock and a hard place in terms of choosing a party to vote for in July 🙁

Seems incredible that people should not realise about the part NI plays in wider UK political life. Unfortunately, however, I have no difficulty in believing you.

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UtopiaPlanitia · 10/06/2024 22:32

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 10/06/2024 17:52

Thank you for this. Yes, strange she ignores NI but includes Plaid and the Scot Nats.

A lot of people don’t realise that NI has MPs elected to Hoc, and Lords sitting in HoL, and that NI voters vote in UK general elections 🤷‍♀️ Or they do remember this but see it as irrelevant to wider UK politics for some reason.

But it was still an interesting article because it sums up how so many of us are between a rock and a hard place in terms of choosing a party to vote for in July 🙁

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 10/06/2024 17:52

UtopiaPlanitia · 10/06/2024 14:44

Good article but, sadly, she doesn’t discuss N. Ireland parties. The Labour party doesn’t run candidates here in NI but the Conservatives do, and we have our own local parties most of which are full on supporters of genderwoo so voting in NI is going to be just as much of a shite sandwich as in GB 😞 Yay <-sarcasm

I completely understand your election day dilemma 💐

Thank you for this. Yes, strange she ignores NI but includes Plaid and the Scot Nats.

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Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 10/06/2024 17:25

lcakethereforeIam · 10/06/2024 11:21

Jean Hatchet has summed up the nice selection of shit sandwiches most UK GC women will be offered this election

https://thecritic.co.uk/its-our-party-and-well-cry-if-we-want-to/

I might vote Tory fwiw. My MP wrote back after the Lis Truss Private members Bill saying all the right things. I think she's toast regardless. I've never voted for the Tories, am dumbfounded I'm even considering it but, as a protest vote, here we are. Or possibly I'll spoil my ballot. Or not bother getting out of bed that day.

Edited

Many thanks indeed for this article. Explains the problem well, and has clarified my feelings about the main parties. 🙏🏻👍🏻

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UtopiaPlanitia · 10/06/2024 14:44

lcakethereforeIam · 10/06/2024 11:21

Jean Hatchet has summed up the nice selection of shit sandwiches most UK GC women will be offered this election

https://thecritic.co.uk/its-our-party-and-well-cry-if-we-want-to/

I might vote Tory fwiw. My MP wrote back after the Lis Truss Private members Bill saying all the right things. I think she's toast regardless. I've never voted for the Tories, am dumbfounded I'm even considering it but, as a protest vote, here we are. Or possibly I'll spoil my ballot. Or not bother getting out of bed that day.

Edited

Good article but, sadly, she doesn’t discuss N. Ireland parties. The Labour party doesn’t run candidates here in NI but the Conservatives do, and we have our own local parties most of which are full on supporters of genderwoo so voting in NI is going to be just as much of a shite sandwich as in GB 😞 Yay <-sarcasm

I completely understand your election day dilemma 💐

BezMills · 10/06/2024 11:35

It's your vote and I'll not tell anyone how they should vote. If you're really stuck and can't find a positive reason for any candidate, you can go for the least worst or spoil your ballot or stay home. I encourage everybody to vote, but again it's entirely your choice.

lcakethereforeIam · 10/06/2024 11:21

Jean Hatchet has summed up the nice selection of shit sandwiches most UK GC women will be offered this election

https://thecritic.co.uk/its-our-party-and-well-cry-if-we-want-to/

I might vote Tory fwiw. My MP wrote back after the Lis Truss Private members Bill saying all the right things. I think she's toast regardless. I've never voted for the Tories, am dumbfounded I'm even considering it but, as a protest vote, here we are. Or possibly I'll spoil my ballot. Or not bother getting out of bed that day.

It’s our party and we’ll cry if we want to | Jean Hatchet | The Critic Magazine

Women with concerns over their rights are being pushed, pulled and spun around; sent reeling dizzily to the box office by the forthcoming General Election, disorientated and politically fragmented in…

https://thecritic.co.uk/its-our-party-and-well-cry-if-we-want-to

ArabellaScott · 09/06/2024 18:15

Of course people can ask for advice and people can offer suggestions, opinions and advice. Bit of an odd idea to suggest it's somehow not allowed?

What do PPs think political campaigning is all about? Doorknocking? Marches? Taxi driver monologues on the hot topic of the day? People wearing pins on their lapels?

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 09/06/2024 18:00

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 09/06/2024 16:09

This.
Vote for who you want to vote for, not what others tell you to.
Read the manifestos and make your own mind up instead of relying on others to do it for you, or be swayed by their biases.

I think perhaps you missed the essence of my point, which was, I don't want to vote for my MP because they are a trans activist, regardless of what their party's manifesto may or may not say.

I do think it's legitimate to ask for other people's thoughts when in a dilemma. If I knew who I wanted to vote for, I wouldn't have needed to start this thread.

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MrsTomRipley · 09/06/2024 16:39

The Workers Party manifesto says there will be no support for identity politics. But after hearing what GG had to say about LGB people I couldn't vote for that.

DrSpartacular · 09/06/2024 16:19

I won't/can't vote Tory, Reform, Labour, LibDem or Green, so before the election was called had already decided that if a small party or independent stood and they weren't awful, I'd vote for them to help them keep their deposit. PoW isn't standing here, nor any independents, but the communist party are, so they can have my vote to save me spoiling my ballot again.

GoodAfternoonGoodEveningAndGoodnight · 09/06/2024 16:09

HelenaWaiting · 09/06/2024 01:36

No one can or should advise you who to vote for. I'm a bit shocked that Mumsnet has allowed this thread to stand.

This.
Vote for who you want to vote for, not what others tell you to.
Read the manifestos and make your own mind up instead of relying on others to do it for you, or be swayed by their biases.

anyolddinosaur · 09/06/2024 08:53

If you vote for any party they will claim you are signed up to all of their ideology, even though that is batshit. Therefore the only sensible policy, if none of the parties represent you, is to write on your ballot either none of the above or perhaps Party of Women. Dont put anything alongside a name or it may be taken as a vote for them, even if you write fuck off.

You can advocate for sympathy for those who have suffered from this ideology without voting for those who would support harming other children.

Meadowtrees · 09/06/2024 08:16

The conservatives are the only party that match your views on this. Reform is a business not a party. So on that basis if I were you I’d vote conservative, failing that not vote at all. Which just shows what a shitstorm selection of feeble / populist / lightweight options we have.

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 09/06/2024 08:07

DarkForces · 09/06/2024 03:03

Of course people can advise you who to vote for. Our whole political process is based on people trying to persuade you to vote in one direction or another.

Exactly. I asked for advice. I'm not advocating for a particular party, and neither has any of the contributions. The whole thread is not party specific, other than excluding Cons and Reform.

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ArabellaScott · 09/06/2024 07:40

The MP, I mean.

ArabellaScott · 09/06/2024 07:40

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 09/06/2024 00:44

PS, I should clarify, my child is in no way exerting any pressure on me to vote for a particular candidate. I'm not sure they're even aware of our MP's views on this specific topic, but I know they would vote for the MP's party on the basis of its policies across most issues. As would I, otherwise.

Write to them and lay it out clearly.

DarkForces · 09/06/2024 03:03

HelenaWaiting · 09/06/2024 01:36

No one can or should advise you who to vote for. I'm a bit shocked that Mumsnet has allowed this thread to stand.

Of course people can advise you who to vote for. Our whole political process is based on people trying to persuade you to vote in one direction or another.

Pieceofpurplesky · 09/06/2024 01:41

Take the gender issue out and see who aligns to your political issues most that way first. For me, it's Labour as they look to do more for social care, education and mental health in their vocalisation so far.

dunBle · 09/06/2024 01:40

What are the independents like? They're unlikely to win, but if you can find one who you think sounds reasonable, it's better than spoiling your vote, and may help them keep their deposit.

HelenaWaiting · 09/06/2024 01:36

No one can or should advise you who to vote for. I'm a bit shocked that Mumsnet has allowed this thread to stand.

Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 09/06/2024 00:44

PS, I should clarify, my child is in no way exerting any pressure on me to vote for a particular candidate. I'm not sure they're even aware of our MP's views on this specific topic, but I know they would vote for the MP's party on the basis of its policies across most issues. As would I, otherwise.

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Extrahotpleasenottoomilky · 09/06/2024 00:37

OK, if we take my offspring out of the question, what do people think then? Spoil the paper? I won't vote Tory or Reform; Green, Lib Dem and Labour all endorse gender ideology I disagree with. I've answered my own question here, haven't I...

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RoseHedgehog · 08/06/2024 23:09

If your child stated that they had joined a Christian-derived cult, would you vote to allow that cult to have more power in government?

esmeisa · 08/06/2024 19:12

Must admit, I'm still undecided too and I haven't got anybody putting pressure on me to vote a particular way. I generally lean left but my labour candidate is new and I know nothing about them whereas I actually like my local conservative MP. Throw in women's rights and really not sure which way to vote.