Baby reindeer anti woman pro trans slant

I don't think he was trying to portray himself well or as an innocent victim. I think armchair-diagnosing him as a sociopath is a bit much but he is definitely a flawed and damaged human being.

Agree. To be fair, I dont think he came across well, nor I guess did he think he would? A very flawed person indeed.

Agreeing with the poster who said RG is maybe a bit of a sociopath.

This is a big, big reach OP

The trans woman they picked is not representative of most trans women, particularly in the UK.

They used a transwomen actor to represent a transwoman and have you have an issue because, in your opinion, she is too pretty? A lot of actors are better looking than their real life counterparts.
I would also suggest that you consider whether or not your idea of what a transwoman looks like might be skewed. You may have passed quite a few in the street who are smaller and not as masculine as you think they should be and not noticed as you didn't interact with them.

I agree with you that it should have been clearer that the assault did not happen. Especially when this was billed as a true story with "Martha" so easy to find.

AGP is an obsession which drives the whole existence of transwomen
I feel like you are basing this on vocal TRAs who post on the internet. Like any other group of people transwomen are individuals with different personalities and motivation.

I find it hard to believe that anyone could credibly claim trans people are now erased and do not exist because of someone typing on an internet forum. It shows a rather odd understanding of what 'trans person' means. They are real people, not some concept.

Going back to the actual topic being discussed, I do feel that the writer has shown himself to make terrible decisions, having no boundaries, using people, and treating them awfully, which in one sense makes for more interesting TV but on the other sort of puts up this defence shield of 'hey, I never said I did the right thing, so you can't criticise me any further'.

Too many people are treating it almost as a documentary rather than a work of fiction. Fiction can still start useful discussions and express real situations so it was always going to be a massive distraction saying 'this is real, real people did this'.

Perhaps you need to read this

https://www.mumsnet.com/i/trans-rights-moderation-policy

Fine, continue to speak utter fiction.

Dont be so bloody ridiculous.

Please do not erase trans people.

Terri is a transwoman.

@anothernamitynamenamechange I absolutely agree that creative people should be able to convey their trauma. But I think you are being far too kind to Gadd if you think that's all he's doing here.

The more evidence that comes out, the more it looks like he wasn't traumatised by meeting the Martha character at all. He's admitted that she was never violent. It's hugely questionable that he completely invented scenes where she sexually abused him and beat up his trans partner, then he pretended it was a true story.

Was he a deeply traumatised man who had huge empathy for a mentally ill woman but expressed it in an 'often flawed way'?

Or is he a sociopath with a history of using women (like his bereaved ex girlfriend and her vulnerable mother) who spotted a mentally ill woman and thought he could exploit her for his desperate desire for fame?

I feel really conflicted about this because creative people understandably want to include their own experiences in their art. Whether that is straightforward biography or something loosely inspired. They should have the right to do this and in particular tell complicated, often morally grey stories about difficult but real issues. Its always been like that. But then, anyone telling their own story is also telling other people's story. Either you are clear about who the other people actually are (and risk defamation laws) or you aren't (and risk innocent people, anyone in your own orbit being accused). At one end of the scale you have something that is as accurate as possible and has been scoured by lawyers. At the other outright lies/fantasy. And in between what Gadd referred to as something that was "emotionally true to him". But that wasn't a defence for Amber Heard who also didn't outright name her alleged abuser (it was just really obvious who she meant), and might also have considered what she said "emotionally true" (ie not true). So I don't know where the exact line should be.

Its nothing new and I think historically men have gotten away with more than women (e.g. Truman Capote writing about his friends, Scott Fitzgerald using his relationship with his wife for his stories but getting really angry when she wrote about her experiences because she was stepping on his territory, Picasso's really appalling treatment of his "muses"). Leonard Cohen wrote extensively about his relationships which was fine. But Taylor Swift is criticised for "just writing about her exes". But its much worse for everyone now because its so easy to find out information on the internet or spread rumours/speculation based on gossip.

But I think artistically what Gadd did has value and he was clearly trying to convey his own trauma and his own often flawed responses. How do you do that without dragging other real people in?

Agree!

I actually thought his discussion on whether sexuality is influenced by trauma or whether it unlocked it, really interesting.

What would make a man deliberately seek out a trans woman partner, is it trauma, fetishisation? I don't think that was presented in a way that had tw as superior to other women, it was a consequence of his assault that his sexuality was all over the place.

It's incredibly sad for the TW who are essentially effeminate gay men, being completely honest on dating sites, not transgressing female boundaries that they have partners on TV wondering why they are attracted to them. I'm glad she was portrayed well.

The whole thing is very grim and there seems stunningly little focus on the fact Gadd has sold his 'rape' story for millions whilst not reporting the rapist and leaving other young men vulnerable to the same abuse.

These sorts of criticisms are often levelled at women who refuse to report. Knowing how unlikely it is to get a conviction in a case like this and knowing that there will be many people who will accuse you of making false accusations, it’s pretty understandable when people don’t report isn’t it?

I found it very interesting in I thought he was using the trans character to explore his sexuality and potential that he was in the closet. The fact he was on a trans specific dating app, but even sadder really was the fact so was she. All the stuff about only meeting her in dark venues so he wouldn't be recognised, then taking drugs to be in public with her then leaving her on the tube (tbh she should have not bothered with him again after that).
And then later that he could only enjoy sex with her by fantasising about a woman.

He's totally fucked up and it did make me think how difficult dating must be if you are trans. But it also had a lot of undertones of what does it mean to be trans and in a trans relationship anyway?