Advice please: Dreading TRA friend's visit

I doubt the sole focus of the trip is to promote her views on trans rights op.

She might not even mention it because she's busy catching up with her friends and having a nice weekend?

And, even if she does, she's entitled to think what she likes. She has her views and you have yours.

Ho early I don't see why there should be any drama here. Just have a nice weekend and appreciate each other as people and not keyboard warriors.

Could you not try, “Can we avoid contentious political issues, please?” and if they push it, “I think one of the biggest problems is unthinking tribalism and the inability to tolerate differing viewpoints without shutting them down.”

why would you want to plant a seed of doubt in her head? The full on TRA types are literally beyond reason (if you actually believe you can change sex by saying so, then reality is not for you). I would go totally no debate-but if they pushed it they would get both barrels.

Letting them know? It’s the Op’s personal business. This is not 1984.

This seems to be a common topic for threads at the moment.

is there anything that I can say that could at least plant a seed of doubt in her head?

Probably not. There’s no point getting into arguments that will spoil a weekend with friends, and you’re not going to change anyone’s mind by the sound of it. It’s possible to be friends with people who hold different worldviews than yourself. So you either say nothing, leave the room or change the topic if it comes up. “Oh you know what they say, never discuss sex or politics or religion. Man City winning the league again eh, do you think they’ll do the double too?”

Change or avoid the topic enough times it will be clear you hold different opinions. If they’re genuinely interested in knowing why they’ll ask you.

I hear you. I have friends like this. They aren't argumentative as much as they act like born again evangelicals. "Isn't it just wonderful how kids have language now to describe their fluid selves?" Or "poor transgirls are the most oppressed people who ever walked the Earth." "SHE is so stunning I could never wear that so well." That kind of silliness.

In response I occasionally roll my eyes or give an ironic laugh (a few snorts work too) but I don't argue much anymore with them because they are so brainwashed it's an emotional block. Cognitive dissonance just makes them dig in further into their beliefs. Laughing lightly and changing the subject is a far more effective strategy in social situations IMO. Sometimes a skeptical look and a "ok, then. Anyone want more pretzels?" Is the best way to handle the extreme faithful.

If you have an issue with gay people and/or people who support trans rights, I suggest letting them know as soon as you can. It will prevent further and bigger problems further down the line.

Once the subject is mentioned go home!

I feel for you, I really do. How about this: try to care less about what they think and change the subject if it comes up. It can be difficult to remember that lots of people dont think too deeply about this stuff, they just buy into a set of prescribed beliefs cos its easy. I agree, to a degree, that there's a time and place for reasoned debate but this scenario isn't it unless you want things to get really awkward around the breakfast cereal. If they are argumentative gender missionaries, they might persist, and if they do, politely put the onus on them: ask open questions, make them elaborate on any thought terminating cliches, be friendly-curious about how they came to their extraordinary claims. Amd why they are so invested. Shrug and don't let it define their stay. Don't try to change their minds (for true believers, its a cult, and everyone else is hotly defensive for not thinking it through properly). You may think less of their critical thinking skills and thats okay. Agree to disagree and model tolerance for diversity of thought (and lack of it). Good luck!

Your contempt for her is obvious in your post. Can't you make an excuse and let your husband see his friend alone? It sounds like that would be the most comfortable option for all concerned.

Minimal engagement and attention, don't get drawn in.
It's quite interesting to watch these types of converts.

No engagement. If really pushed I just advocate for my kids

I wouldn't volunteer anything. However, if she made some kind of inane GI statement or asked you to comment or agree on said statement I would not be able to shut my face. I would be so tempted to leave my well worn copy of TRANS Gender Identity and the New Battle for Women’s Rights sitting on the arm of the sofa like this…..would that be too naughty? Maybe she’d pick it up!

Same. No point.

Honestly? I wouldn't engage.