Advice please: Dreading TRA friend's visit

What if OP does a JK Rowling and goes off into an unhinged rant about trans people?

I'm looking forward to OP's next thread when they talk about how noone wants to visit anymore.

Fortunately the OP didn't suggest or imply she's anti trans or any such thing and has made it clear she was looking for ways to defend and educate should the woman go off into an unhinged rant, rather than having any intention of bringing up her own standard, accepted views.

It goes both ways.

I'm sure people who don't have gender critical views may not wish to have to listen to anti-trans diatribes.

Could you not try, “Can we avoid contentious political issues, please?” and if they push it, “I think one of the biggest problems is unthinking tribalism and the inability to tolerate differing viewpoints without shutting them down.”

She isn't being lectured or harassed.

She went looking on this person's social media page and didn't like what she saw.

The visitor hasn't said anything to her.

Letting them know? It’s the Op’s personal business. This is not 1984.

Riiiiight, I posted this late last night, replied once, went to bed, had a mega busy day today and only now I'm having a moment to myself to browse SM and whoaaa, it took me a while to catch up with all the posts. Some very amusing replies here and I'd like to thank all the suggestions, even though I won't be able to use some of them 😅

I can't reply to everyone individually but just wanted to clarify a few points for the PPs who got a little confused along the way and misinterpreted didn't read properly what I wrote:

I don't have a problem with gays or trans people. They can do whatever they want, just not at the expense of women's hard fought rights. The inclusion that they seek is excluding women from their own spaces.

I can't avoid her entirely because like I said, some outings have been organised and tickets bought for the whole group: me, DH, Friend, Friend's gay friends (3 of them). I don't dislike her and was actually looking forward to seeing her before I saw her SM and learned that she was going to stay with friends with whom she shares the same beliefs.

I'm not "spoiling for a fight". Quite the opposite, trying to avoid one. I don't intend to bring the issue up at all. I asked advice regarding what to do IF the issue was brought up as I find it hard to remain silent just smiling and nodding politely. There has to be a middle ground between full blown argument and staying quiet and putting up with nonsense.

My husband wholeheartedly agrees with me and shares my views.

I'm not wasting my time trying to convince someone who's been captured and if the issue is brought up in conversation I have decided that I might go to the loo or to the bar to buy a drink. HOWEVER, like a PP said it above, my red line is someone mentioning JK Rowling, my absolute shero 🙌🏼
Then I really won't be able to bite my lips and stay silent, I'll have to say something.

Thanks to everyone who understood me and gave me good suggestions, I really appreciate it 👍🏼

A number of directly copy-pasted quotes from various posters on this thread:

"I would be so tempted to leave my well worn copy of TRANS Gender Identity and the New Battle for Women’s Rights sitting on the arm of the sofa like this…..would that be too naughty?"

"I would wear my dinosaur necklace"

"I'd love to be able to look her in the eye and challenge her misogyny in a clear unemotional voice. So. I'd see it as practice."

"I think it is important to have as many conversations about this stuff as possible. It’s the only way to fix it."

"I'd probably just leave a JK Rowling novel lying on the table casually"

Versus:

"people like this love to sniff out "bigots" and "call them out""

"She'll cause disruption, cult mentality people always do."

"I'd have problems being in her company as the subject is bound to come up ( they can't keep their mouths shut )"

Yeah, it's only ever TRAs who try and crowbar the topic into conversation and who can't tolerate difference of opinion. Double standards abound.

Just treat people - even those you strongly disagree with - as you'd wish to be treated. In this case, not harangued for having the "wrong" view over a catch up with an old friend.

She probably has a thread somewhere on reddit, dreading her weekend with her friend's wife who so captured by TERF ideology ...