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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Pride at Work- did I put my foot in it?

33 replies

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 08/05/2024 17:29

I work in a fairly junior HR role in a very male dominated industry- think a local chain of mechanics.

Our HR team is small- less than 5 people. Boss is gay, but it’s the least interesting bit about her. It was our quarterly meeting and the Pride plans were on the agenda- L&D Lead whips out a presentation she’d been given by a third party and we started going through it, with the ultimate plan being that we, HR, would be delivering the training to groups across the business.

It all started well, with sound bites about LGBT people not being able to talk about their personal lives in the same way as straight people, etc etc, fair enough.

Then it moved on to actions for staff- being an “ally”, pronouns in emails, always making sure to ask people their pronouns. Not sure how this is going to go down with a lot of oil-stained mechanics in their 50s, but anyway.

Then it came to the branding- basically we’re told that there’s a big expectation from the parents company that everyone in HR uses the gaudy pride email footer, Teams backgrounds etc.

I realised I needed to say something. I said that I appreciated this was a cause close to a lot of people’s hearts, but I don’t feel comfortable making any political statements at work. I’m a feminist, but I declined to use the Women’s day branding when that was circulated. I have other strong political opinions but I don’t bring them into work, and this is no different. I won’t be using any of these materials or language in my own communications.

L&D Lead nods and looks oddly relieved? Boss says “Well Pride isn’t political.” - I said “I think we can all agree it’s been politicised over the last number of years.” They agreed and said that they don’t want to piss anyone off, and yes, it’s meaningless if people are forced to do these things.

I’m glad I spoke up, but I’m shitting myself I’ve put a target on my forehead for being intolerant.

OP posts:
ArabellaScott · 08/05/2024 19:44

Sounds pretty good to me!

GatoGato · 08/05/2024 19:22

Nicely done OP. Very well said. In fact I might nick your approach!

Toseland · 08/05/2024 19:18

I think they were all secretly pleased that you said it - well done OP! x

JellySaurus · 08/05/2024 18:51

You made perfectly valid points in a sensible manner.

Besides, true diversity and inclusion are demonstrated by actions, not by words. All the rainbows in the world do not compensate for homophobic comments. You can be diverse and inclusive without waving any rainbow flags or pronoun flags.

MrsOvertonsWindow · 08/05/2024 17:51

Well done OP. You're not alone. Even Simon Fanshawe (one of the founders of Stonewall) is raising issues about the problems with DEI and how so many initiatives do nothing to promote equality. Apparently countless businesses are begining to have the same discussions:

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2024/05/06/inside-plot-take-back-control-diversity-zealots/

Why bosses are ‘getting nervous’ about the corporate diversity drive

Companies reconsider rise of inclusion policies amid fears ‘pendulum has swung too far’

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/business/2024/05/06/inside-plot-take-back-control-diversity-zealots

Lovelyview · 08/05/2024 17:45

Sounds like you handled it really well. It is a really good point that being political can put off potential customers or other people in the industry. I think you've saved your workplace a lot of grief.

FlakyPoet · 08/05/2024 17:43

You boss doesn’t seem to be as smart at you or the L&D lead if she doesn’t recognise that Pride is political.

Well done for speaking up. It’s natural to feel a bit wibbly and exposed when you’ve asserted healthy boundaries- but you must hold your nerve and not back track - you’ve demonstrated that you are thoughtful, have a moral compass, moral courage and intelligence. Others will be impressed.

WitchyWitcherson · 08/05/2024 17:36

It sounds like it went down well! You made really good points - politics should stay out of work unless it's relevant to the job itself. The fact that people seemed to relax should show you that people agreed and you should hopefully have some back up if anyone doesn't agree with you?