The Grauniad on a damaging “reality” show

Clearly avid if you aren't sure if it was the series of fight night.

It was a very long time ago. That series was also absolutely bonkers iirc. Wasn't that the one where there was a huge fight and people got kicked out?
(I was an avid watcher of that series 😂)

Hmm.

Not sure I agree with that assessment of Nadia at all.

Thats revisionism.
There were contestants in the house who did guess.

The programme should never have been made, hugely irresponsible of the production company to not anticipate the reaction of heterosexual men to finding out their date has a penis.

Revealing as always that Miriam preferred “playing with dolls” to baseball and so instead of growing up to be a happy gay man, was homophobically transed into a “woman”.

I feel deeply sorry for all those who took part.

There were a couple of deceptive dating reality shows around then. I remember one where the woman competing were told that the guy was a millionaire when he wasn’t.

There was also an insane one where the girls thought that they were competing for Prince Harry 😳. In reality it was some ginger English guy.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Wanna_Marry_%22Harry%22

A far more agreeable strategy.

If I remember rightly, Nadia came out quite early in the series. Rather than 'Accept me as a woman', it was 'Accept me for who I am'.

I watched it and IIRC noone knew she was trans at first (can't remember if the audience knew) and she didn't come out to the contestants for a while. I don't think they guessed. Mind you it is all very heavily produced so who knows

Nadia was popular because they were trans and that was unusual then - as I remember. I thought they came across as a funny, effeminate, over the top and slightly bullish, gay man.

Same here. I didn't really follow that series of BB because I had personal stuff going on but I didn't particularly think Nadia passed as female when I did watch it. Can't say whether I would have known without it being open when I became aware of Nadia.

We don't know what hopes Miriam had for being on the show. Those men competing for Miriam's attention must have been a complete dream come true.
If you haven't realised that your dating pool will be massively restricted and being a woman comes down to biology, not 'passing' on the surface, then slapping full pelt against reality is going to be devastating.
I think Miriam went into it naively as many young people do. That's why lying at the outset, before all the little adjustments in terms of body modifications, hormones and thought processes is so cruel. Essentially Miriam was 12 or younger when Miriam started down this path. The adults let Miriam down again and again.

Nadia was popular because they were trans and that was unusual then - as I remember. I thought they came across as a funny, effeminate, over the top and slightly bullish, gay man.

I think Miriam was let down by the TV company. Desperately sad.

Nadia though, I was never a BB viewer so I can't personally comment on the passing. But I must have been in the room when it was on because I'm sure some of the other contestants had suspicions. I think Adam's apples were mentioned. Considering this is years before trans went mainstream I'm surprised it would have even crossed their minds if Nadia passed so convincingly.

I was just coming to say about the awful Guardian blind date thing where they paired a lesbian with a transwomen. It's much the same thing. Exploitative in the extreme.

This young trans identified person was 'cast' by the TV company - and probably chosen because they believed they pass and will successfully find a straight man - with little thought for the wider consequences, just that it will make great, bottom of the barrel, cringe TV.

The podcast on reality TV upthread is very good.

Yes, horribly dishonest, unethical, exploitative and manipulative of the TV company.

A male being presented as a woman in an attempt to trap and deceive others is fraudulent, unethical, and dishonest.

In the context of seeking to involve participants in sex by deception in order to provoke a strong response it was breaching every ethic on consent. Grossly calculated, manipulative behaviour.

The TV company were criminal in their actions.

Just read the article it was a very dark show

Exploitative, Black Mirror like

I’m not surprised those set up and lied to sued and reacted, it’s also very sad that a young person was so damaged and their life ended as it did

The article is so typically Guardian, with the whole "assigned at birth" nonsense. The producers were clearly in the wrong and they exploited both Miriam and the men. They would have known how the men would react to finding out that Miriam was male. Nasty and horrible all round. But the Guardian skirts around the issue at the heart of this, which is that heterosexual men do not want relationships with other male people, regardless of whether they present as female. Just as homosexuals do not want relationships with opposite sex people - remember when the Guardian set up a lesbian on a blind date with a trans woman?

I thought the point that the boys had each other but she had noone was well made.
They were all victims in this, but in my opinion it was worse for her because she had no support and also was blamed for her role.

Also interested in the brief comparison with Nadia Almada. Nadia really does put the lie to the line "you can always tell". She totally passed .

“The fact that she had a penis seemed to be the punchline to a joke,” says the production’s psychologist, Dr Gareth Smith, now. “But it wasn’t a joke. It was Miriam and her life. These boys didn’t have the option to consent. It was cruelty television.”

I think that sums it up very well.

Miriam was a vulnerable, traumatised young adult who probably hoped this would be the path to something better. The young men involved did so without true consent and were right to take legal action. They were all being set up to be the punchline of a joke that only the executives would benefit from.

Horrible times.

Yes, this.

It was extremely exploitative, not least of the men involved, I'm not surprised they sued. Miriam obviously colluded with the TV company to keep it secret. How delusional would Miriam have to be to think that straight men would be fine with finding out they'd been snogging a biological male. I guess though if you're desperate for fame because you think it would equal love and acceptance you can be very easily persuaded when tv producers spin the show as a wonderful, positive thing for all.

The whole idea of being trans is generally wrapped up in deluding yourself that you can be something you're not so it's probably not a huge stretch to delude yourself that if you're famous everyone will love and accept you and also that tv producers must know what they're talking about when they say the show is going to be great.

I don’t really get it. Miriam must have known how people would react to finding out they’d been lied to? I mean ok he was 21 but still.

The TV company are to blame, but Miriam was an adult and it was the men who were duped.
i feel sad for all concerned but as a PP says, nowadays the men would have to pretend they’re ok with it, despite feeling violated and that just isn’t right. Now or then. Miriam should never have done it.

😳 how are they still here

If this were created today, everyone involved would have been wronged in exactly the same way, but the men would have to pretend that they were fine with it or face a huge backlash — and depending on the jurisdiction, potentially criminal charges for discrimination on the basis of a protected characteristic.

'Sex by deception' in the UK. Which Stonewall campaigned to get rid of.