The Grauniad on a damaging “reality” show

Not sure why I was deleted, but the concept of passing is thinly veiled racism. Passing for Black people meant they could escape slavery. Passing for transwomen in this context means tricking men to sleep with them.

I was thinking more that people do sometimes feel an attraction and with that discover a component to their sexuality they hadn't been (consciously) aware of.

Less nicely, there undoubtably are men who consider themselves straight but are interested in trans women sexually and I'd be surprised if Miriam hadn't experienced that or at least be aware of it through friends.

I entirely agree that rejection and a sense of betrayl was always the most likely outcome and that Miriam's deception of potential romantic partners over that length of time including intimate contact like romantic kissing was unforgiveable. My point was more that I could see how Miriam might had unrealistic expectations.

It wasn’t really comparable. Ella was obviously trans and out as trans and Nathaniel (the person they were paired with) was a bi-sexual man who was aware (although not happy) they had been paired with a very feminised TW. He had asked to be paired with a man or a masculine woman so Ella was not his type. Masculine women aren’t really a good fit for MAFS though.

Nadia didn’t come out to the other contestants in any footage that was broadcast. Every exit interview that series ended with Davina announcing the big secret dramatically and the evictees at least pretending to be surprised. Quite like she was a side show act.

I think ironically that Nadia would pass less well now as people are seeing more trans people in the media and it’s something people think about when meeting new people.

In a more natural relationship (ie not a manufactured reality show) that might even have happened, plenty of people have had relationships they would never have thought they would.

Within reason. They won't freely have sexual relations with someone who is not the sex they're attracted to. Nobody should begin a relationship under false pretences, it's not fair on the other person. And when it comes to straight men in particular, I think a male person who begins a relationship under the pretence that he's female, is very possibly in danger.

We can see from many trans people posting online how often they delude themselves that they will be sexually attractive to heterosexual partners of the same sex/opposite assumed-gender, after transition.

I have limited sympathy for mature adults who delude themselves into transitioning, but I am sad for younger, more naive people whose delusions are exploited, whether by doctors offering PBs/surgery or, as in this case, TV producers.

Miriam knew that being trans was the twist of the show, and was the only contestant to know. It would be strange if Miriam assumed all the men would be accepting, therefore knew he was putting men in an embarrassing position.

TV does use people, so i have sympathy for everyone involved, but Miriam was using the other contestants and didnt think about their consent.

Similarly, if a man entered a womans space, undressed and then everyone has sympathy for the naked man because all the women could talk to each other about the experience, and the man had no one to talk to. Its ignoring the situation miriam willingly took part in.

Hopefully, everyone getting themselves involved in reality tv understand it more now. It was a cruel concept for a show for everyone involved.

It's rarely ethical to want to trick others.

Im an American and the concept of "passing" comes the deeply racist one-drop rule that said even if you looked white, if you had one great-great-great grandparent who wasn't, that one drop of blood was enough to lose citizenship or pull you into slavery. People who could potentially pass as white meant they could access better health care, marry who they wanted, keep their children, escape slavery, vote and have other rights.

Equating passing with a man trying to trick other men into sex for fame and $ and then asking others to find sympathy with this attempt is grotesque.

Miriam was pretty young, and had friends and a family who accepted them. M probably naively thought that if the men had time to get to know M first and liked M/fell for M as a person the reveal would be a shock but not a deal breaker.

In a more natural relationship (ie not a manufactured reality show) that might even have happened, plenty of people have had relationships they would never have thought they would. I expect Miriam massively underestimated the way people respond one to one is not the way they respond with an audience.

Miriam would also have had the production crew telling M what M wanted to hear.

She didn't pass in my house or some of my friends. She carried off the deception at first,
then came the 'there's something off about her' but we didn't know what exactly. Then suddenly the light fell in such a way that her face was mannish and after that we noticed her walk, her throat etc We didn't say trans though. That concept was hardly known then - seems like another world.

The 2000s were an awful time for this kind of "shock" TV and I think the producers were very cynical.

Mind you we just had a comparable thing on MAFS

https://www.google.com/search?q=mafs+transgender&oq=mafs+tra&gs_lcrp=EgZjaHJvbWUqBwgBEAAYgAQyBggAEEUYOTIHCAEQABiABDIHCAIQABiABDIHCAMQABiABDIHCAQQABiABDIHCAUQABiABDIHCAYQABiABDIHCAcQABiABDIHCAgQABiABDIHCAkQABiABDIHCAoQLhiABDIHCAsQABiABDIHCAwQABiABDIHCA0QABiABDIHCA4QABiABNIBCDMyNzZqMGo5qAIOsAIB&client=ms-android-samsung-ga-rev1&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

What are you blaming her for? Being shallow and pursuing fame and ££ by going on the show?

I agree the producers were primarily responsible, but I don't agree Miriam was blameless.

The producers are responsible for that, not a 21 year old. Poor miriam :(

@AdamRyan I guess Miriam didn't realise that nobody likes to be made a fool of, especially on TV.

I expect she thought it was going to male her famous and that the men would laugh it off. I doubt she expected she'd end up with any of them.

The sorts of people who go on reality TV seem often to be quite troubled.

Back to the Guardian article (my only source for this programme, I'd never heard of it before), obviously the producers were completely in the wrong, and the male suitors were innocent. But Miriam? Vulnerable, maybe, confused, maybe. But what on earth did Miriam expect to get from this show? Was Miriam expecting that when the men found out they would say, "Oh, ok fine, I don't care that you're actually a man? No problem." Surely not.

This. Lying and deceiving never ends well.

I watched it and you are talking bullshit, the other contestants clocked it within the first few minutes, two of them were openly discussing it. Nadia certainly didn't 'pass' on the screen either amongst any of the people I know who watched it at the time.

I remember sitting in the common room at uni watching an episode of that series of Big Brother and seeing the way that people were talking about Nadia. It was horrifying. I was sat right there in a room full of people saying they thought she was gross; some saying that they couldn't believe how anyone could think she was a woman; while others making comments like 'oh she's actually quite pretty, considering...' and 'I'd kick the shit out of anyone like that'. All the usual stuff. I was right there, hearing it all wash over me, hearing as usual how people talk about those they perceive to be trans when they don't think a trans person can hear.

I thought she was beautiful, if a little annoying, and while the usual transdar made it hard to unsee her past, I was pleased at how well she managed to pass to those who didn't know - I was terrified she was going to be immediately clocked by everyone and then every week would just be an exercise in trans-bashing live on TV.

Stop saying things as fact when they are bollocks then! And making out you are some sort of massive authority on things when it takes about five seconds for it to collapse as utter rubbish.

Avid fans are a totally different level and yes digitalspy is easy to check this type of thing on.

Some of them indicated they knew with some comments

People here discussing whether housemates knew

https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/1340529/did-the-housemates-know-nadia-was-transgender-during-the-series-when-she-won

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Honestly. Stop being bitchy. It was 20 years ago, I watched most of the series' and now am hazy about things like whether Alex Sibley was the same series as Michelle Bass. Like most people probably. It's not that deep and you don't need to seize on everything to make out I'm a liar.

Anyway here's a news article from the time.

www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/nadia-almada-a-heroine-for-our-times-50675.html