Normalising buying babies

I want to hear more stories from the babies after they're grown up. I know adopted kids often struggle, is it the same for surrogate kids?

Is this some kind of trick " aha you're a homophobe !" question?

It's wrong for anyone to buy a baby, whoever they are. Adoption is ok (not ideal) cos the baby is out already and needs taking care of.

I fully support gay or lesbian couples raising children. The vast majority of people who use surrogates and buy babies are straight, but I'm as opposed to gay men doing this as I am to straight couples. (can't imagine this comes up much w/ lesbian couples, but probably a few instances).

@TempestTost

Rich people have normalized....

Babies are people, and people can't be bought or sold, or given as gifts.

In the unfortunate case that the parents are unable to care for a child, or unwilling (for which they should usually be censured,) it's up to the state to find suitable care in the best interests of a child.

Surrogacy has nothing to do with that and is a form of human trafficking. Mnay people find that difficult to understand because it's been so normalized, but many societies have normalized bad things to the extent that they were seen as normal.

Is it ok for same sex couples to buy a baby in your mind?

It's deeply disturbing. I have a friend who bought babies from a surrogate and while I do indeed judge her for this, I also think she's a good mom. But her being a good mom doesn't at all mitigate the wrongness of it. I also have some sympathy because she did it to give her husband bio children when I know she would have been happy with foster or adoption situations. Men can exert pressure on getting a surrogate as much as women. I think they behaved unethically.

Sadly, now her DD is a teen and struggling a lot with her sense of identity. I often wonder if it's partly due to surrogacy and having an egg donor. Friend's DD is extremely different (not just looks, but temperament, personality, interests, reactions, emotional interpretations) than my friend and I feel both have always struggled connecting. Of course, this can be the case with bio moms/daughters and adoptive. But this girl has no access or knowledge of her donor bio mother as it was done in the States where there are no laws guaranteeing right to data. And the family doesn't seem to be in contact with surrogate mother either. I think it's a cluster TBH because you can't turn back time but kids will still go through the repercussions of their legal parents choice of surrogacy.

And the "here's a photo of me in a hospital bed for no reason" ties in with that.

The instagram/influencer thing makes me uncomfortable too.

So many "lifestyle influencers" on instagram/Tiktok wherever have their kids/pets as a big part of their brand. Lots of focus on babies (gender reveal, baby born, baby meets older siblings blah blah blah). Some people are creating content just because they want to share about their family but for lots its a literal profit making business (or they want it to be). That's uncomfortable enough when its their own kids...

I can think of examples when its obvious that the influencer is acquiring e.g. a new pet just to get more clicks/follow a trend. And there have been cases in the US with influencers adopting children and then treating them terribly - clearly part of the motivation for adopting the child was to make money.

So I am not saying that influencers would actually commission new babies to get extra attention on social media (older kids are less interesting) or to make money through them. That would be libellous. But I am saying the temptation to do so - or the danger of that being at least part of the motivation, is definitely there. But either way why, if you are so desperate to have a child (or a fourth child) that you go to a surrogate would your first instinct be to post about it all over social media where "the trolls" can criticise you.

All very 'under his eye'.

I think surrogacy does have its place.
I know a friend whose sister carried her baby after she was infertile due to cancer.

But it’s too easy for rich people to get a baby.
Its almost like going out and buying a new puppy or kitten.

They usually select the sex of the baby too, which also makes me uncomfortable.

Khloe Kardashian was very open about using a surrogate and said that although she loves her child and had thought about it for many years, she felt very uncomfortable with the whole concept of it and felt guilty for the woman and struggled to bond with her child.

She got a lot of shit for being so negative about it but I think it’s so important to hear these sides of it.

It should not be easy to just buy a baby.

That actually make me want to heave. What psychopaths. The poor child.

This article was an eye opener for me.

The Pope’s right, surrogacy should be banned

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/140785ca-e2a8-4810-a371-6b906a478636?shareToken=a62e5b6bd38849ff1e5d47d4c7d52e9e

That's nauseating. That poor child.

It is basically a scene from handmaids tale.
And so disturbing....

The acting out of "having" a baby to complete the "experience" they bought.

The delightful Stuart and Francis are hero worshipped. There is an infamous video of them describing their search for an egg donor with suitable physical attributes. It was like they were hiring a brood mare. One wanted someone with good hair because he had had a hair transplant. It’s hideous.
They talk about the surrogates but since that initial video nothing of the egg donor. It’s all entirely about asthetics. They also make their money from an MLM so women are exploited all over.

This one takes the biscuit though. Absolutely obscene and disgusting that hospital staff would join in with this little mini broadway show.

https://x.com/surrogconcern/status/1777525717518962918?s=46

It's all the fashion now to pose in a hospital bed, occasionally supposedly doing skin to skin with the baby.
It's extraordinarily tone deaf. Why don't they announce the birth and have a family picture at home. Still erasing the mother.

I think it is always important to strip away the emotional linguistic protection some people use in these discussions.

I agree with you OP. There is never a good enough reason to exploit at least one woman’s body and fertility to produce an infant especially created on demand.

So they’ve got a photo that suggests she’s been physically involved in some way??

I've seen the post. The woman in the hospital bed is not the mother who has given birth, is she? Why is she in a hospital bed?

I completely agree that this should not be allowed. I think in 10-20 years this will blow up into a huge public scandal.