Hannah Barnes article on traumatic birth

The one thing that terrifies me about being pregnant is this. I have 2 and my mum has been my birthing partner for both - mainly because she really gets their nurses attention and shouts when she panics.

With my first they didn’t think my labour would be so quick and they wanted to leave me for a few hours - she said “nope - women in my family have quick births - her contractions are close together - a nurse/midwife had to be there”. It terrifies me that my mum, who isn’t a medic at all had to step up as I had no idea what was normal and what wasn’t.

The second time was much better but again, it took my mum screaming the place down to be taken seriously - I got to the point where I couldn’t walk myself to the maternity floor and the nurses were asking “why isn’t she going to the maternity floor - how did she end up in A&E” (where the Uber dropped me).

I can’t believe we still do not get treated seriously.

I had PTSD and PND after a traumatic labour resulting in an emergency c section. The baby was too big to fit through my pelvic bones. I was later told that my baby was 97th percentile and I should have been induced about a month earlier. Even after giving birth there was just a total failure of care for several reasons. I suffered permanent injury from the c section. I cried every day for months. Six years later I still can’t look at myself in the mirror naked.

Of course there was no support available. My family were scared if “they” found out how badly damaged I was then “they” would take the baby away. Or “they” would take me away, or medicate me, so I wouldn’t be able to look after the baby. God forbid that someone else might have to lift a finger! Much easier to hush it up and make their own lives easier by denying me help. There is still a very strong focus on “mum must look after the baby” and a refusal to consider that perhaps she can’t.

Birth injuries simply aren’t talked about. There’s little enough talk about vaginal birth injuries but even less is said about c section injuries. And this culture of expecting an injured woman to look after a newborn is frankly disgusting and needs to be challenged.

Yup resonates with me. I had my second child crowning in a side room with no midwife and no pain relief because they said it would be hours yet. Had to hop beds in labour ward with his head half out and still no pain relief.

Third baby I had a letter from the consultant saying I was to be given gas and air as soon as I asked because of how I labour. I get to 2-3cm and then half hour later I'm pushing. They don't give pain relief until you are 4cm. I got no pain relief for that labour either even with the letter from the consultant. Ended up with emergency c section and no feeling or control in my bladder. The child is coming up to 2 years and I've still not been seen to see what can be done about this. I could not even get out of bed or reach my baby but no one helped me in the ward.

Told I couldn't have painkillers stronger than paracetamol if I wanted to breastfeed. Utter crap. I had to argue my point repeatedly that there were safe options and they absolutely refused until my male partner asked then they gave me painkillers. He's not my husband yet they listen to him and ask his opinion on multiple things in MY labour.

Fucking horrific how women are treated.

My experiences of both my births (2018 and 2021) were super similar to hers, up until point of delivery - thankfully I only had episiotomies and no other tearing so didn't have the extra perineal complications.

I'm pregnant with number 3 now and terrified.

Wow that was full on. She writes so well.

My god. The thought of going to hospital to give birth makes me feel ill (unless absolutely medically required). Quite literally the last place I would want to be.

All the prodding and poking and measuring, and bright lights, and stressed out workers, and beign told what to do... all get in the way of giving birth.

Fucking sweeps! Such a ridiculous thing

I had ptsd as a result of a traumatic birth. By chance I eventually stumbled upon e m d r which helped. But there were years of suffering for me and my family.

This is a very good article. Hannah doesn’t seem to be slowing down in shining a light on poor clinical practice. Thank you Hannah - I wish more journalists had your integrity, grit and courage.

Really good article and I'm glad it's being seriously looked at by the APPG. I know this is a subject personal to Hannah but she really is a great journalist and has a natural talent for taking you on a visceral journey with her writing.