The 'pregnant' man in the cafe today

Reproductive capacity is arguably one of the roots of women's oppression which is why it's so bloody galling and offensive when men like to play it as a costume.

🤣 it would be funny if it actually was just a guy wondering whether to have a cake or not because he thinks he's a bit portly.

"I haven't decided yet- my tummy, you know?"

realised this was a man with a small basketball up his frock.

It's taken coming back to this thread and re-reading it to realise he meant he hadn't decided what to eat because his decision was altered due to a pretend pregnancy.

On first reading I thought he was undecided what to do with his ball.

Are you sure it wasn't a beer gut?

That's awful @Dustybluethat you felt like you had to go along with his dilusion. I'm not sure what I'd have done to imply I knew reality, that's the whole problem - we're socialised to be kind and smile through other people's offensive behaviour. And yes it is offensive to pretend to be pregnant!

It doesn't matter. We can't control what other people think about us. It is irrelevant what that person may or may not be.

It's also totally impossible to prove what or who someone is thinking about, so a complete exercise in futility from step one. Unless someone develops telepathy.

I’d go and Google “autogynaephilia” to see why “wank fodder” is more likely in this situation.

The very fact that this man interacted with the op, in the manner that he did suggests that he did want people to play along with the act/ delusion that he is pregnant.

The OP lives in Australia so sadly it’s entirely plausible that a transgender person mimicked a pregnant woman.

The fact I want reassured is that no person in that cafe became part of his later wank fodder.

Sorry but this is ridiculous. It's not a pleasant thought, but anyone could see me or you or some other person on the street or the train or in the café that they find attractive and then use it for "wank fodder" later. We don't have thought crimes in this country and what someone does with their own thoughts in the privacy of their own home isn't anyone's business. It would obviously be a different story if they were harassing me or doing it in public.

Reply was "Oh I couldn't but thank you for offering. I haven't decided yet- my tummy, you know?" patting her belly.

I'm blunt so I'd have said - that's because you have a ball shoved up your jumper. Take it out and you'll feel better.

It would have been tempting to peer at him over your specs or sunnies and ask,
"So what are we hoping for? A girl? A boy? A beach ball?
Or can't we decide?"

I can so imagine Germaine doing that in a gloriously sardonic tone.

And the "be kind" spiral is off on one again.

We've gone from "nothing to see here. no harm done" to "stick to the facts" in the blink of an eye.

The fact I want reassured is that no person in that cafe became part of his later wank fodder.

If you are going to speculate that the wank won't happen, so you are alright jack, then the rest of us can in equal measure be uncomfortable that it will.

Bottom line - however we want to make this an individual, we need to first be aware this needs looking at from a mental health angle and women shutting up about it and not complaining about the discomfort will not get this man the treatment he most likely deserves.

Quite frankly, all the facts nonsense is really unkind as it doesn't get him the assessment he needs fast enough.

Does the area begin with D?

You could be talking about my neighbour. He wears make up, tight dresses and heels but he has a huge hernia which does look like he's shoved a ball up his dress.

Edited to add I just realised you're in Aus.

I genuinely don't understand why my post was deleted
Is expressing support for expectant fathers agains the rules?
absolutely puzzled

A generous thought! But if this was the case, there would have been more humour, more comedy involved, more 'can you believe I'm doing this?'

What hyperbole. Who said anybody had to play along? Stick to facts, not whatever you made up.

Many years ago I was at a workshop where the male partners of pregnant women were invited to spend a couple of hours walking abound town with a heavy fake belly attached. It was to help them to empathise with what their partners had to carry around all day

It would be very sad if a well meaning father-to-be was mistaken for a man in woman-face / women-belly

Maybe not the case here?

👆🏻

Who on earth thinks you have to play along?

He was in a cafe, not the maternity wing of a hospital. Absolutely no one thinks a man with a ball up his dress is a woman, let alone a transwoman.

At one point in time then absolutely that would have been the appropriate reaction and the chap may well have been offered some mental health intervention, by the appropriate services. Now we are expected to pay along with the way this man is presenting, to centre his appropriation of woman. He absolutely enjoyed being at the centre of this scenario.

I see the "That didn't happen and if it did it's nothing to worry about" crowd are out in force.

Did a bat signal go out?

I'd feel the same, @Dustyblue We're all tired of this shit a) happening at all and being told to "play along and be nice", and b) instigating the tiresome DARVO that this thread is full of.