Sexual harassed DD6 in unisex toilet

Vile? I think it’s vile how anyone whose opinion differs from the group think is being attacked and ridiculed.

I did contribute to the thread and believe me, like the OP I would be absolutely furious if anything like this had happened to my daughter. But I also know the absolute stupidity that 6 year olds can come up with and I think this SH angle is absolutely distracting from the main problem (which is bullying). But go ahead, you won’t have to deal with my opinion.

It's not necessary to use such disrespectful language.

OP I'm sorry this happened to your daughter, but seeing you standing up for her right to safety, privacy and dignity will be a huge life lesson in the fact that she doesn't have to put up with males invading her privacy and model the best possible response to future disrespectful men. I wish it hadn't happened to her, but I'm in awe of her Mama Tiger!
As for all the "experts" warbling on about what is and isn't sexual abuse, even though the incredible @ArabellaScott has posted the nspcc guidelines which suggest that it is, well, shame on the lot of them.

I really wasn't downplaying the impact on the OPs daughter; bullying can have far-reaching emotional consequences, and be incredibly traumatic. I was simply disagreeing with the conclusion that it was sexual abuse. Ofc there could be a big back story but I can't assume this given the info in the OP.

Posters on this site enjoy classifying everything as abuse, and it looks like even 6 year olds are now deemed to have the awareness as older children. It’s so depressing that I will stop reading now so the echo chamber can be amongst itself

And I am sure everyone really admires you for riding rough shod over a thread started by someone asking for help.

If you have such strong views why haven't you started a thread about it instead of hijacking this one.

Talk about being oblivious.

No wonder OP is no longer participating in this thread.

'Enjoy classifying everything as abuse'

That is an absolutely vile thing to say.

I’m not sure why you are still trying to reason with people when it’s clear that the mob mentality has won. Posters on this site enjoy classifying everything as abuse, and it looks like even 6 year olds are now deemed to have the awareness as older children. It’s so depressing that I will stop reading now so the echo chamber can be amongst itself. I have enjoyed your contributions though because they have been nuanced and reasonable.

We have a thread full of posters explaining how sexual harassment is about male power over women and girls, yet still you deny and minimise.

They set up a girl in a confined space, waited til she was partially naked, and then burst in on her. They knew she was distressed and they knew why.

This was very calculated and deliberate transgressing of a girls boundaries by a group of boys.

I have done.

It's referring to colour coded levels of sexual behaviour, what's considered normal etc.

As there's nothing that appears sexual in the boys' behaviour in full context of the situation, I don't see how it's relevant tbh. It's like reading a guide of what to look out for in motor development in toddlers when your concern is actually about their language.

Yes, I do know 6 year olds. I know these are just being naughty boys.

But these knew they were intruding on a girl in a private way, all be it in a childish form.

I also know that at this age they have been taught the ‘pants’ rule.
Not group- bashing into a little girl’s privacy when her pants will be down is part of what they need to learn.

And what about the little girl? Is she supposed to just shrug it off? Is that her lesson for the rules of life to come?

Why not read the NSPCC guidance and the statutory guidance I posted above.

The privacy of her body and its functions were intruded upon by a gang. woukd the gang of boys have done this to another boy? No. They needed her to be female to get their kicks

I'm assuming you've never met a six year old @ScrollingLeaves .

Just a reminder - they're SIX. I think the group of boys would have acted in the same way had it been a boy in the cubicle. You're talking about them as if they are teenagers with planned out sinister motives.

In this case it was wrong, mean, inappropriate, naughty, possibly bullying. Trying to shoehorn it into sexual harrassment is quite frankly ludicrous.

I take it you have not read ArabellaScott’s posts.

It may be embryonic, but it sexual harassment in essence.

The school can learn a lesson from this, and so can the boys in an age appropriate way.

The little girl and the other children can be protected in future.

@UseItOrloseItt It's disgusting how adamant you are in repeatedly underplaying this incident of young sexual harassment. Because that's exactly what it was- sexual harassment

We'll have to agree to disagree with that.

It doesn't sound in the least bit like sexual harrassment to me and it sound like the school are of the same feeling.

@LittleCoffeePot I did post earlier, and there's been a lot of similar posts in the interim.

It doesn't sound as though so far the school have been properly proactive or have handled this well.

It doesn't matter when the incident happened, it matters that it happened at all.
Letting children so young access toilets alone, particularly those that are seemingly difficult to lock and unlock (or with faulty locks) is a risk to children- health & safety and safeguarding.
They need to update their procedures with immediate effect.
They need to investigate the matter thoroughly.
This matter needs to be reported by them to the Board of Governors.

Please don't let this drop.

You would feel differently if you have ever had to climb over the top of a door and the rescue someone unconscious who has fallen against the door in a cubicle. I only saw as her blue arm was sticking through the door gap at the bottom.

They may seem safer but in real life they are not. Unfortunately if you are feeling unwell and head to the loo and collapse, you are at the mercy of someone noticing and being able to get to them like Emilia Clarke when she had a brain haemorrhage.

Unfortunately there are also court cases where disabled and non disabled women have been abused within a disabled toilet cubicle for the same reason - it’s private. At least one rape per school day happens inside a school premises in this country which seems too high but those are only the only that are reported (figures from 2015/16 discussed in Parliament). This is before it was more fashionable to have unisex toilets. Secondary school children who have to use the unisex toilets and teachers are reporting that pupils are getting pushed into them and you can’t tell how many are in there at one time. Self harm and drug taking are more likely to happen in a private space too.

They teach the ‘pants’ rule at this age. The little girl is supposed to be able to insist on her own privacy away from intruding boys even if they are young.

Yes they do, dd knows this, she’s a similar age

I am leaving this thread as some of the posts on here are just appalling. OP I am so sorry that this happened to your little daughter. Ignore the minimising fuckwits on here, you know what's right.

Thank you for bringing this clarity to the thread. Perhaps it provide the OP with what she needs to approach the head teacher or governors with her complaint.

They teach the ‘pants’ rule at this age. The little girl is supposed to be able to insist on her own privacy away from intruding boys even if they are young.

This is important:
It is important that schools and colleges consider sexual harassment in broad terms. Sexual harassment (as set out above) creates a culture that, if not challenged, can normalise inappropriate behaviours and provide an environment that may lead to sexual violence.'

Hello!

OP has already had a thread hijacked and came here to try and get support.

For all those who want to have a discussion about what is or is not sexual harrassment why not have a thread about it.

Expressing an opinion once fine but to then persist at the expense of OP looking for support just seems totally inconsiderate.

And doesn't help OP or her DD.

And there is a useful section on behaviour, with a good description of what is normal, problematic, and harmful.

'Harmful (red) behaviours

Red sexualised behaviours are harmful to the child who displays them, as well as the people the behaviour is displayed towards. At the NSPCC, we refer to all red sexual behaviours as ‘harmful sexual behaviour’ (HSB). Hackett divides these into 'abusive' and 'violent' behaviours.

• Abusive behaviour
• Intrusive behaviour.
• May involve a misuse of power.
• May have an element of victimisation.
• May use coercion and force.
• May include elements of expressive violence.
• Informed consent has not been given (or the victim was not able to consent freely).'

Grow up. Cool. Didn't say anything about #BeKind which, incidentally, I think is nonsense. Just didn't think calling a poster talking about a very awful time in her family a fool was a justified response to her sharing her opinion, which is as valid as yours.

OP, I've found a phrase which may be useful for you.

Harmful or Problematic Sexual Behaviour is what the statutory guidance uses. The school's safeguarding lead should be trained in this.

https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-abuse-and-neglect/harmful-sexual-behaviour