Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

Also, I think that the Samaritans is pushing the wrong message about mental health. The ridiculous illusion that 'just talking to someone' is a positive step in every situation. This is a horribly pervasive narrative at the moment.

Sure, it is a good thing that the Samaritan's helpline are there for people who do need to talk to a stranger. But unsolicited well-intentioned chat is no more a solution for mental health problems than it is for backache or heart disease.
Any number of people in the situation that man appears to be in would simply feel harassed and stressed by the woman's approach. And even if they didn't, even if they welcomed it, where is is supposed to go from there? She isn't going to become his friend, and if she helps him to get attention from the authorities the very likely outcome is that he will get assessed, fobbed off, and put on a waiting list for an NHS response which, when it eventually happens, is soul-destroyingly, bureaucratic, fractured, discontinuous, etc.

Actually one thing that the ad is accidentally honest about is that when the woman approaches him, she is doing it to feel better about herself, to feel like the chilled wild-child version of herself, not the uptight frump. Not fair to use a distressed person in that way.

OK I have seen that advice (not that anyone did a damn thing on a train recently when I was getting verbally abused by a gang of lads) but this feels different as it's not trying to break up violence it's trying to engage one on one with someone vulnerable.

Where do you go with it if the man just politely says no I don't know where to get a coffee and walks off? At some point you would have to be more direct if you genuinely thought he was suicidal.

It does look a bit like she's trying to pick him up.

Is there another ad where a man approaches the potentially suicidal guy?

I would hope there is, given how valuable it would be to show men it’s ok to reach out to support one another.

Im sure a bloke could ask about coffee.

Women have the message drilled into us all our lives about helping others, it would be a good campaign to show men they can be good Samaritans too.

I also think Samaritans need to take into account the MH implications of intervening. If she ignores the ad's advice and does nothing, and then he harms himself, she will be dealing with having witnessed/later heard about a suicide AND with guilt, as the ad implies she could have saved him (maybe, maybe not). If she intervenes and he then harms himself, ditto.

Support human to suicidal man is a tough role.

Interesting. They have thousands of trained staff and want to encourage the public to engage in small talk too - but they're focusing only on the intended subjects of their campaign, the suicidal men.

They haven't thought about all the other oddly-behaved men. Or about those members of the public. No risk assessment for what they're actually suggesting people do.

I'm all for small talk and recognise its value in diffusing potentially tense or dreary situations - like dealing with delayed public transport. As well as in reassuring or calming tense, worried or annoying people. I've experienced it being used effectively on public transport.

But I'd only ever engage in it in a group situation with a ready-made audience. One because the communication is always partly to the surrounding group 'I've clocked this, I think there's something wrong here, here's me trying to diffuse it'. And because safety in numbers and witnesses if something goes wrong. Obviously.

Whereas approaching lone, oddly behaved men on a quiet platform, with a line that many men will interpret as a come on? (Especially when you're a young woman) Stupid, high risk behaviour.

That sums it up perfectly!
Given that men are three times more likely to take their own lives than women (latest UK stats) wouldn't the time, effort and money be better spent on campaigns encouraging men to look after themselves and each other?
The focus of this ad seems to be lecturing women on how to be the 'right kind of woman', instead of what's going on with the potentially suicidal man on the platform.

What was the thread title please?

I agree OP - this is horrendous and the very last thing women should be encouraged to do. I would give him a wide berth - a random man's problems are not for women to solve.

Here is the Guardian article:
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/aug/01/zero-suicide-the-bold-new-fight-to-eradicate-suicide

There was a poster recently telling of her experience of being a young, female volunteer with them, I was quite shocked. Not my story to tell though. Samaritans do seem to think women are the emotional support animal for men.

I watched this a couple of times before I could make up my mind about which way I felt. Ultimately, I agreed that, yes, it is a bad ad. The last line, about going for coffee is what really destroys it. It absolutely isn't appropriate, either for the woman's safety or even for the man's wellbeing. It sucks them both into a boundary-destroying situation that might have all sorts of false expectations and pressures.

If it had ended with something more sensible and appropriate (like "Are you ok? Can I get someone for you?) it would still have been tin-eared (especially the more beautiful, chilled out version of the woman being the one that advocated the approach. That is horribly pressuring. You are a frump if you don't go out of your way to help people.

I’m in two minds on this. I have a family member with MH problems and have read a bit about suicide prevention. It does seem that preventing people from taking the final step (physical barriers, helplines or being approached) makes a big difference, particularly in male suicides. The Guardian ‘Long Read’ article on suicide was a sea-change for me. There is a ‘spot’ near me (one, possibly two, suicides since the late nineties) and I have engaged with the council about trying to get improvements there.

But I think they should have shown her speaking to a member of staff or a man doing the approach.

Because the third 'actor' isn't just a 'staff member' he is a male staff member, and therfore not required to be a support human for other males of the species.

This.
Also...if it was obvious someone was in a bad place oc i would approach..but tentatively. I wouldn't just go up to someone who looked sad especially a man..

I think this is similar to bystander advice - if you see someone possibly being harassed, you don’t outright say “hey, leave her alone” - you ask a question about the timetable or whatever to break up the moment.

Given that they took the time to employ a third actor to play the person in the hi viz, why didn't they show the woman not having the crisis of conscience but just going straight up to the staff member and pointing out the potentially suicidal man to the staff member to deal with.

Agree with you OP.

There are many other things the charity could be publicising and/or campaigning for to help reduce suicides on the tracks. Focusing on the public suggests that the public services are lacking

If alone or with DC at a quiet, unstaffed station I wouldn’t approach a man.

Why isn't the ad about the male member of staff in the hi-vis vest helping him instead?

No one should encourage women to actively second-guess their fear instinct and approach a sullen, disturbed man on the edge of a train platform. FFS.

And yes, her question could be interpreted as a chat-up line.

As the OP says, the whole ad is ignorant or uncaring of women's safety , and sexist in its staging of 'kind' and 'unkind'.

It is quite a strange advert. The platform isn't deserted, there is an employee in a hi-viz behind the suicidal man. The "sexier" bit is presumably because one version of the woman has her hair down and bright lipstick on.

I noticed the clear difference between the two styles of presentation immediately and thought it was lazy and relying on the old ‘up tight, anxious’ stereotype.

My thought was very clearly that women are now expected to do this as the social contract. It is not just about ‘being human’. The coffee aspect is not just ‘being human’. There is the implication that women should take on this caring role now.

It's the fact she's clearly uncomfortable and it's telling women to get over this discomfort for the benefit of an unknown man I find so disturbing.