Sexist and dangerous Samaritans ad

Thank you for posting, NavyKoala.

I think some people are getting so lost in interpretations of the ad based on personal biases that they are missing the underlying, important message.

So, so glad that you’re here to post and that a strangers went with their gut to help you.

I disagree. If I see someone I beleive is distressed, I would rather miss my train and alert someone at the station to my concerns- I will not approach someone and risk my safety. There are ways to alert someone without putting yourself at risk, whether you're male or female.

Every time I've got a train recently, I've ended up far too worried about whether I'm going to get to my destination on time after a train cancellation, to notice anyone else seeming distressed.

If my own problems weren't consuming me, meaning I noticed, I probably would intervene, but I'd be very cautious about doing it directly to a male. I certainly wouldn't bring up coffee!

I'd find a member of station staff, or I'd ask a question about the station, while standing at a safe distance

Caution is very necessary. This thread has already touched on different suicide patterns, such as the numbers directed by momentary impulse. Some people are motivated by personal misery, and they really don't want to harm anyone else. Some are motivated by anger. I don't want to be in an arm's length of an angry, impulsive man, because he may pull me on the tracks with him.

I'm autistic so have some trouble reading faces (although I self taught to a degree of nuance where I can spot danger better than most neurotypicals).

And yet, that's the kind of expression I imagine Wayne Cousins might have been pulling when he was working out how to rape and murder a woman.

I also know men will exploit sadness and grief to get their way with vulnerable women.

So am obviously raging as to why this 'know your place, support woman's travesty of an advert was made.

Men need to get over the fact we are not their fucking mums.

So let me get this clear:

1. If they cast a Black woman to be the intervenor, they are being racist because of the optics of having a Black woman service a white man's emotional needs.
2. If they cast her on her own merits, (1) still applies.
3. If they didn't cast her because of the optics, they are racist because of denying a Black actor a job.
4. Commenting from the understanding that the advertising industry is historically biased against Black people and has adopted flawed tokenising practices in an attempt to do better is "problematic".

People who were wondering why most posters silently ignored the race angle: the above is why. It's a minefield and I wish I'd had the sense that everyone else had to stay out of it.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · Today 19:44

The guy in the advert had the kind of facial expression I associate with "angry" not "miserable". There's no fricking way I'd go anywhere near a strange male with that frown on.

Same. Especially not on the edge of a railway platform. And I definitely wouldn't be asking him a question which could be misconstrued as a come-on.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vBfMjvSM_qQ&pp=ygUlTm9ydGhlcm4gdHJhaW5zIHN1aWNpZGUgcHJldmVudGlvbiBhZA%3D%3D

I think this one by Northern trains is much better.

I don't know what I'd do in that situation. I spend a lot of time hanging around train stations (train spotting) and I've never seen someone who looks like they're going to jump, although my first thought is getting help from a member of staff or BTP.

I was once approached by two police officers while watching the trains go past, and when I said I was train spotting they shrugged and walked off. What annoyed me was the amount of people who when I told them this said someone must have thought I was going to jump. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I was behind an eight foot fence, and I get ridiculously excited when I see a train going past, hardly the actions of someone suicidal. Later found out if I ask nicely I can stand on the platform for a bit.

And we'd be right.

I still reckon that the advertising agency were told "...and one of the actors should be Black" because of that tokenising diversity ticky-box stuff that companies do

See, I think this is problematic as well - why are you assuming and jumping straight to "must have been cast because the agency were told to tick a box" just because she's black?!
Not she was cast because they cast her on her own merits as an actress?!

I don’t really get why that woman would come to the conclusion that man needed her help? Am I just being a bit thick or insensitive. I wouldn’t have given him a second thought, not because I’m uncaring but it wouldn’t have occurred to me he was in a potentially life threatening situation.

If a NT person was telling me what my own lived experience was, I'd find that pretty patronising. I'm trying to do the same courtesy to Black women.

I still reckon that the advertising agency were told "...and one of the actors should be Black" because of that tokenising diversity ticky-box stuff that companies do. Usually bad ideas are a cock-up not a conspiracy. But how this negligent implementation of diverse casting makes Black women's lives harder by making the woman the Black actor and not the suicidal man or the railway worker, I can't speak for.

It makes me think of Princess Diana's "What does a girl have to do to get a coffee around here?" chat up line to James Hewitt. I'd read it as an invitation for sure.

Here is the longer version I think it is cut from

It is actually a badly condensed version of a longer advert (which gets it slightly better - there are more people around for example) I will try and post a link.

I don’t agree that just because MN is a British forum, that you can assume the majority of posters are white.

It's likely to be the case that they are, based on UK demographics and also that the majority of people on the thread aren't touching that aspect of it.

I don’t think there ought to be or is any disagreement on the implications of her not only being a young woman, but also being a young black woman being guilt tripped (by the Samaritan’s via the male monologue) into feeling responsible for an older white male.

Given that I'm not 100% sure what those implications are, I can neither agree nor disagree.

I'm also autistic and really appreciate when NT people are allies, advocates, and make the effort to educate themselves.

I don't expect neurotypical people to feel qualified to discuss the implications of this advert for autistic women, but I can discuss this because I'm autistic.

Don't mistake me staying in my lane about race for me not caring about race.

Wow.

One of the reasons why someone might be concerned someone is suicidal is because they’re hovering too close to the edge of the platform, otherwise how would a person even come to the conclusion a stranger on the platform is suicidal? I’m not going anywhere near him in case he takes me with him!

I'm really sorry to hear your story, and I'm really glad someone was able to help you in that moment. I hope you're well these days.

FWIW I'm a teacher and I've done hours (and hours!) of Outdoor Ed first aid training. The official advice is absolutely NOT to enter a body of open water in the hopes of saving someone else.

Can you imagine a coastguard ad where the woman was saying/thinking "I'm scared to jump into the river, what if I do it wrong?" and her cool, relaxed, confident, red-lipped alterego was encouraging her to give it a go, even at significant personal risk to herself?!

Also @VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia I don’t agree that just because MN is a British forum, that you can assume the majority of posters are white. Plus, there are many global contributors to MN. The pp’s comment noting her race was an insightful comment. Whilst there were disputes as to the significance of her makeup vs no makeup selves, I don’t think there ought to be or is any disagreement on the implications of her not only being a young woman, but also being a young black woman being guilt tripped (by the Samaritan’s via the male monologue) into feeling responsible for an older white male. The ad is wrong on multiple accounts. [edited to acknowledge the monologue is actually a male voice].

They could show women approaching women. They could show men approaching men. They should show men approaching men.

Oh I missed it was a man's voice.

so a random man is telling a woman to ignore the Fear she's got in this situation

agree the ad would have been better the orange jacket man approaching him to show that men can and should talk

If it had been the other way round you would be moaning that they were encouraging men to speak to lone women who were clearly having a tough time

For instance they could have more staff at railway lines to look out for this sort of thing but it’s much cheaper instead to rope women into talking random men at train stations.

Exactly. They’d need many more women if they had gone ahead with the plans to close all the railway station ticket offices.