Feeling really low after being honest

Right, so being involved with the groups setting out which beliefs are prioritised might help stop that issue at the source.

Also meant to add , some people know the whole situation is wrong but find it hard to articulate why because they are confused by the rhetoric of being kind and the false information put about, hearing someone setting out the reality and the dangers gives them both the language and the argument that they can use.

@Notfeelingitwasworthit

just a few thoughts.

you spoke the truth

people who heard you know you spoke the truth

some of the people who heard you are sadly captured and in denial, but many of the others will be thinking over what you said, and next time they might have the courage to stand with you, speak up and agree with you, or maybe even express their own truth in another situation. You speaking up has probably lit a few flames, the more people who speak up the brighter those flames will grow.

some of the people who heard you are sadly captured and in denial but that doesn’t mean that they can’t change, and if they hear it enough times then eventually it will sink in. Mighty oaks from acorns etc.

keeping silent will never change things, it is because people have been bullied into silence that this madness has taken hold and spread. Every time someone speaks out then it is a pushback against the crazy.

Thankyou for your bravery.

I absolutely agree with you here! Good for you for speaking out. It's about time this was challenged and like someone else said, some people may have remained quiet, but you will have made them think ❤

I admire your courage OP. Hopefully some of your colleagues who kept quiet will offer you support. What kind of organisation do you work for, private or public sector ? I would look at your workplace guidelines on bullying and harrassment.

It's more important to be right than to be popular.

This is August Landmesser, a man not giving the Nazi salute in a crowd of people giving the Nazi salute.

So these stats are infuriating

Yes they are and quite frankly gaslighting.

Thank you @Notfeelingitwasworthit for being so brave.

From this:

Myth 3: “I’m treating everyone the same, so I’ve met the general duty.”

Like other anti-discrimination laws, the general duty does not require you to treat everyone the same. In fact, sometimes, you should treat protected characteristics differently. For example, some authorities treat disabled users more favourably than non-disabled users, or provide women-only services for victims of sexual or domestic violence.

Absolutely. Why don't we just let all men in?

Well done for speaking out. Did you give them some concrete examples? Isla Bryson, Adam Miller, Katie Dolatowski, Karen White...There are plenty, and if you tell them this I can't see how they can justify saying, "It never happens, and if it does we don't care."

Sorry, on re-reading my earlier post, it's not very clear. Because hospitals record by gender, not sex, these stats reflect all male gender patients housed on female wards and vice versa. The great majority of those male gender patients will be biologically male.

So these stats are infuriating in that they show that the 'no mixed sex' (in reality mixed gender) rules are regularly broken, but they probably miss out trans patients, who will - because gender is being used, not sex - be recorded as being on the correct ward.

Well done OP. I am a bit uppity so there’s no way I could keep quiet in that situation but I also really hate it if people I respect or like don’t like me. It’s an annoying internal contradiction.

I try and remember Chris Whitty repeating the old saying (I paraphrase): “Never worry about criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.” But I’d go further and add ‘if they’re trying to shame you into their way of thinking then create merry hell.”

As an aside I’d be concerned the question about why we have single sex spaces would get the answer “because of transphobia.”

You are perfectly entitled to believe what you want to believe and I am entitled to believe that is what you believe but your belief itself does not make what you believe true. Where issues arise is where people try to force others to believe that their belief is true, especially if that belief results in harm to yourself, other people or society as a whole.

I have been genuinely wondering for a while whether it's better to tackle this head on, by joining your lgbtq networks at work (I don't believe I have a gender identity that matches either sex, I would guess I am agender in Stonewall terms), pulling them up every time sex and gender is conflated advocating for others with no gender identity, making sure no-one is ever using e.g. "man" and 'male" to be the same thing (sounds backwards but will force people to be clear on whether they mean sex or feelings), be clear about whether they are using gay/lesbian to mean same-sex attracted or something else.

Once people stop the linguistic sleight of hand that is 'woman does/ doesn't mean female' it might bring some sunlight.

Ugh even more chilling @MissLucyEyelesbarrow

@DrBlackbird this is what I remember seeing. I don't know enough to understand the impact and implications in the context of this thread:

x.com/transgendertrd/status/1736718190976135467?s=46&t=A2fpFNgDRyXF2d6ye97wEA

www.gov.uk/government/publications/public-sector-equality-duty-guidance-for-public-authorities/public-sector-equality-duty-guidance-for-public-authorities

Quite.

And yet, the moment one professes an incongruent gender identity...

What situations? In what way are men marginalised??

Bear in mind that hospitals are recording patients by gender, not sex, so these stats are in reality a record of people identifying as male, placed on female wards, and vice versa.

It's a hazy memory! In sure something was published at the same time as the school's guidance? I'm trying to find it

Whilst trying to do so I've found this which I never knew existed ?!

www.gov.uk/government/statistics/mixed-sex-accommodation-breaches-for-december-2023

Gosh OP some of your updates reveal quite worrying opinions. Men compete with men for jobs (really) 'nobody wanted to be us when we had no power in the past' - are you really claiming that not a single person was trans in the past? Claiming most women don't understand complex sexual trauma when statistics tell us that the majority of women have been sexually assaulted/raped. I think you should re-evaluate some of the foundations of your thinking.

@WarriorN can you point me to the recent statutory guidance that gender identity is not a protected characteristic? If I do say something about the training video it would be helpful to have such guidance.

I agree with @MrsOvertonsWindow that asking people who run these events to take a few steps backwards and define what they mean by the language they’re using quickly makes it clear that the language itself is problematic as it assumes a common, shared understanding of and belief in “gender identity”. It’s impossible to define it without resorting to using regressive, negative stereotypes.

When the penny drops (sometimes it doesn’t), people start backtracking or deflecting or becoming defensive or angry and perhaps even calling you names. If you can hold your nerve through being called a transphobe or worse, then you’re doing really well and can hold your head high.

Whilst the law should apply for all women, no matter their religion or culture, it's always worth mentioning that some religions have extremely strict rules about interacting with males in some spaces.

And yes what was touted at that training was very discriminatory in this situation.

Also worth pointing out that statistically the group most vulnerable to sexual assault are those women and girls who are physically / cognitively disabled and need intimate care.

So yes, sex matters