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Original poster

'Coming Out' should be consigned to history

103 replies

IcakethereforeIam · 08/02/2024 10:42

I read this article yesterday and I've been thinking about it since because I found it interesting

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/coming-out-at-work-should-be-consigned-to-past-insists-lawyer-wtdqqr3rv

https://archive.ph/OpYGu no paywall

I'm not a believer in 'bringing your whole self to work'. Some people's 'whole selves' could be quite detrimental to work. Conversely parts of someone's 'whole self' is none of works business. I might be extreme though, if I could have kept being pregnant from work I would have done.

That said, it's nice to have the option but I wish we were at the stage where being LGB is something completely unremarkable. Which got me thinking about the T and how that differs to sexual orientation. I think it's summed up by, MN permitting 👀, if a guy puts on a dress in the woods and there's no-one around, is he really trans?

‘Coming out’ at work should be consigned to past, insists lawyer

Member of Law Society of Scotland’s governing council says sexuality is irrelevant in the workplace

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/coming-out-at-work-should-be-consigned-to-past-insists-lawyer-wtdqqr3rv

OP posts:
CuriousAlien · 08/02/2024 10:58

Thanks for posting, that's set me thinking.
I'm just playing with the idea about information being "need to know" and/or "need to say".

It seems like some people have a desire or need to tell other people things which from the other person's perspective, they may feel they don't need to know (and maybe would rather not.)

Then again, that's not surprising if "identity" or "self-identification" has a social currency value. Or if identity has to be validated by the other person for that final seal of approval (or thrill in some cases.)

pickledandpuzzled · 08/02/2024 10:56

A teen girl came out to me firstly as lesbian then later as trans. I think she expected more surprise, or validation. I warned her about the dangers of binders and hormones, when she mentioned them. Pointed out relevant news stories- Keira Bell, and that she may feel she’s known for ages but at 17 no part of her life classes as ages to an oldie like me.

She would have needed to tell people as she was changing and wanted different pronouns so I suppose coming out conversations were required.

Other than that, I’m generally more surprised when a camp man turns out to have wife and children than anyone coming out as gay. Though I think someone in a straight marriage having a same sex affair is probably still surprising, just because of the two things wrapped up in one situation I suppose.

WandaWonder · 08/02/2024 10:49

If someone came out to me I would explain factually but not unkindly 'no offence but I don't care, I don't need to know as it's irrelevant to me'

If people do care what to they want me to do about it pat them on the back? Throw a parry?

Why would they care what I or anyone thought? I'm straight do they care?