What would you do? Re school staff member and colleague calling himself 'miss'

He has been testing the waters. When he receives no push back, he goes a little further. He's always available to volunteer on outings. Any man who talked to me about hormones, would have got a loud "how dare you, young man". If everyone calls him "Miss", what do you think his next step will be? He is putting you in an untenable position. You sound like a kind person, but you are being emotionally manipulated. A "nice" man wouldn't behave this way. Your instincts are correct.

Good luck OP. We shouldn't have to lie or collude in all this - and kids certainly shouldn't. But given how viciously women in particular are targeted for transgressions, ensuring that we're aware of what the professional standards / policies dictate is essential.

Would your colleague accept using the grim-but-gender-neutral Mx, instead of sir or miss?

You could start calling all your colleagues "Comrade" . 😁
But seriously, I'd find it very difficult too. As someone commented, it's a shame he can't be addressed by his occupation, like nurses or police constables.

But it's up to leadership teams to find reasonable adjustments for everyone

It should be, but you can't rely on it. Ours are looking the other way and hoping we'll somehow sort it out between us. It's not going well so far.

But I think you have to.

I mean, this is why this entire issue is so contentious - because it requires you to say things that aren't true. If they really think that they're experiencing something like the menopause (@nttt you ok with men laying claim to women's experiences? That's all fine with you? Because it's not with me.) But a title just about sits in the same box as a name for me.

I guess the only possible out is to use Mx for this person - or for everybody. But it would be very clear why you're doing it.

I'd suggest that as your relationship with him is via the workplace, you need to be guided by what is decided by your managers. That's what keeps everyone professionally safe.
Individuals shouldn't be at the centre of these debates. I'm not criticising your thoughts OP - it's a good discussion to have and to consider how you manage your beliefs versus someone else's expectations / desires. Just pointing out that you're bound by the Teachers' professional standards and school policies
This is an almighty mess with all sorts of unintended consequences - as you point out, especially for children. But it's up to leadership teams to find reasonable adjustments for everyone

If you have to refer to him by name E.g when saying to a class “Mr Smith will watch over you while I see to Billy”, could you say E.g. “our lovely tech assistant will be watching over you while I see to Billy”

You don't believe in God and think the premise of religion is insane, but you go along with it to support your friends. You're comparing this with the OPs situation, and by suggesting it is the same thing, you're really just supporting what most people here are saying. That people go along with this bizarre dystopian nonsense to keep the peace and be a 'be kind' kinda person, not because it's true. Essentially, we're all saying what you're thinking.

I think teachers are just going to have to have the prefix ‘Teacher’ that acts the same way as ‘Dr’ or ‘Nurse’. So ‘Mr Jones’ becomes ‘Teacher Jones’. I know this person is only an assistant so maybe you could say ‘Assistant Smith’ or ‘Teaching Assistant Smith’. It’s ridiculous, yes but it takes away any chance of ‘validation’ for someone who wants to be seen by a bunch of 5 year olds as the opposite sex to the one they were born.

And kids could get used to getting a teacher’s attention by saying ‘Teacher’ rather than Miss or Sir. Miss is usually used whether a teacher is Miss or Mrs anyway so it’s always been a nonsense.

If my child came back saying they were asked to call a male teacher ‘Miss’ I’d explain the situation in an age-appropriate way and tell them to call them Teacher instead. And don’t be worried if you say Miss - you won’t get into trouble.

What do you think the school would do if you refuse to call him “miss”? I mean that’s what it comes down to basically, and presumably the only thing stopping you.

ACAS are good at employment advice, although this may be too specialist for them. Are you in a union? If not join one asap, as you usually have to already be a member for them to help.

Sex and gender are indeed not the same thing, one is biological reality, the other is not.

What stuff? The truth? That a man isn't a woman and asking others to use wrong pronouns is asking them to join in with the untruth.
Because let's face it, it's not going to stop with pronouns. He's already considering the hormone treatments to be the same thing. Next it'll be accessnto the women's loos, supervising the girls on residential trips not the boys etc etc.
This is where be kind gets you. It's never just the pronouns.

@Nttttt ok so I am actually a religious person and it would in fact go against principles of my religion to call a man a 'woman'. So who's rights win?

Do you think that’ll happen?

Several recent employment tribunals have vindicated women who have been victims of harrassment/discrimination and unfair dismissal from their employers on the basis of their gender critical views. Their belief that biological sex is real and often important, and that it cannot be changed is considered worthy of respect and they have the right to say it so their employers were wrong to deem them transphobic, and to treat them unfairly as a result.

Gender and sex are different things hun. The persons gender expression should be accepted. I totally agree that she won’t be buying tampons or using women’s health services but this persons gender identity is that of a woman.

You lot are honestly like the homophobes in the 80s and notice how their ignorance got left behind?

Also notice how children and young people are so much more tolerable. You are living in the past and desperately need to join the acceptance. It feels a lot better to not be getting so upset and aggravated by other people’s decisions.

As I said I understand people being critical of trans people using spaces they’re not comfortable with (toilets etc) it’s not my personal beliefs but I respect that some are uncomfortable with this.

I’m actually going to I watch this post now because I just get in such disbelief the stuff you bunch say.

@Nttttt That comparison is not the same because the work colleague who is religious is not asking the atheist to compromise his own beliefs, therefore the persons religion has no bearing on the other person.

Now if the religious person was forcing the atheist to take part in their religion or make them pray, then that would be encroaching on the atheists rights.

Bottom line, you can't force someone to acknowledge you're a woman when you are in fact, a man.

Imagine being a Christian and this offended someone at your work who was an atheist

I would be this offended - nay outraged - if they demanded that I, and the children, pray with them. My Christian colleagues do not do this, of course.

They were more about gender critical beliefs than misgendering, and the Forstater judgement did mention that it wasn’t free reign to Mia gender people.

I suppose it’s like you’e allowed to believe gay marriage is a sin and shouldn’t be allowed etc but that doesn’t mean you can tell your colleague in a same sex marriage that they’re not really married.

Its a weigh up for the OP really between what is easier - referring to his person as “miss” when needed and her own feelings about that, or to continue calling him “mr” and potentially having consequences to that.

their name is now Miss X' - a factual response to shut it down?

It is disingenuous to suggest using "Miss" is not implying that he is (somehow) a woman. This is a highly contentious position to take. Apart from anything else, teachers are required to remain politically impartial in front of the children.

If we want to use religious analogies then here is one;

Imagine being a Christian and this offended someone at your work who was an atheist and they went on a rant saying your religion makes them uncomfortable……. It’s just not ok.

A man living in the sky is far more insane than someone feeling they are a different gender, but I have friends who are religious I respect and I will always support them.