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Original poster

Being gender critical at work, Jk Rowling etc NHs

84 replies

DoubleScreens · 01/02/2024 22:23

I can't believe this is even my reality. I work in a very big nhs trust and I have cancer, I already have a thread about my manager asking me if she was safe to be in a room with me after she googled my medication and realised it's an antipsychotic, (it is but I take it for bipolar as a mood stabiliser) then she asked if I was safe to be in work with my mental health conditions Hmm.

ANYWAY! My reason for this thread is that I own this. Up and I use it every day it's on my desk as I like it, and my manager's deputy has decided it's totally inappropriate for me to have this mug as 'Jk Rowling is a terf'

Also she's angry with me because I had to renew my ID badge and I refused to put pronouns on the badge as that is a requirement now, but I think it's ridiculous so I refused and my manager is saying I'm transphobic and homophobic which is so awkward because I'm married to a woman.

I just couldn't believe it, I don't see patients any more because of my cancer treatment, why do I need to put my pronouns on my id badge?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
IwantToRetire · 02/02/2024 16:47

DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 14:04

@Ereshkigalangcleg and @GrumpyPanda no it doesn't have jk Rowling on it. She's totally jumped the shark with the transphobia crap

If this wasn't so serious you would want to laugh.

This woman is definitely the one who is a threat.

I feel half tempted to forward it to the Daily Mail or Telegraph so they could do a big expose on NHS madness.

But obviously wont, as it could identify you.

There needs to be a Three Broomsticks protection society.

Boiledbeetle · 02/02/2024 16:43

nothingcomestonothing · 02/02/2024 15:08

Click on the emoji button on the bottom right of the text box, then click on the blue ‘m’ to access the old fashioned MN emojis. Alternatively, type square brackets (one of these [)flowers square brackets.

Flowers
Show quote history

You know I have never clicked on the blue m before! I wondered where you all hid the gin

FlowersGin💐

PonyPatter44 · 02/02/2024 16:16

Oh my god , I also thought your mug said "J K Rowling is a terf".... but that mug is totally innocuous (and quite nice, I might get my Potterhead friend one).

I would actually be tempted to raise a grievance against this woman, she is not normal.

puddypud · 02/02/2024 16:12

Just seen the pic of your mug. I thought from your OP you meant the mug had 'JKR is a terf' on it. Your mug is a perfectly normal mug! Wtf! Your manager is batshit! Please raise all of this with HR.

SoundTheSirens · 02/02/2024 15:57

TownGown · 02/02/2024 00:40

Anti-psychotics aren't prescribed lightly. They're generally for things like schizophrenia and paranoia delusions, so I can understand why finding out you're on them would make her anxious.

Bollocks. Second-gen anti-psychotics like quetiapine are a fairly common treatment for bipolar disorder as a mood stabiliser.

Why do people spout such utter shit with breathtakingly misplaced confidence?

OP, as others have said your manager is way over the line. Document everything and if you have the mental energy (but I'd understand why you may not), consider raising a grievance. I hope your treatment is going well.

JulesJules · 02/02/2024 15:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

wellhellohowstheweather · 02/02/2024 15:42

Honestly I would be looking at putting in some form of grievance about this. Her behaviour is horrifying! I seriously hope she isn't working in a mental health trust.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/02/2024 15:40

no it doesn't have jk Rowling on it. She's totally jumped the shark with the transphobia crap

How completely ridiculous.

SquirrelsAssemble · 02/02/2024 15:39

Although a spider, leaf & downhill skier also sound adorable @MarieDeGournay

Doublescreens this sounds incredibly frustrating - I'm also in a captured organisation which makes us do a whole mandatory training block on our impartiality & then 'recommends' we use pronouns in our email sig which (IMO) is a pledge of allegiance to the genderwoo, flying in the face of impartiality.

If you don't want to get into your GCness while dealing with your other significant issues, just keep telling them you're remaining impartial re:pronouns for the benefit of your service users. Do they not know it's a very divisive topic for some people???

MarieDeGournay · 02/02/2024 15:14

Ah, the magic Big Blue M! Thank you, and here's one each for you and for OPFlowersFlowers☺

nothingcomestonothing · 02/02/2024 15:08

MarieDeGournay · 02/02/2024 14:46

Dear DoubleScreens, I have nothing useful to contribute, fortunately lots of other PPs have, I just want to send you huge amounts of support and good wishes in what you're going through, including one of the most outrageous managers in recent history.
I haven't been on MN for long but I gather the done thing is to send a 'bouquet of flowers' emoji in these circumstances, but my attempts to find that emoji have resulted in a spider, a leaf and a downhill skier.. so please just imagine that you're getting a hug and a big bunch of your favourite flowers☺

Click on the emoji button on the bottom right of the text box, then click on the blue ‘m’ to access the old fashioned MN emojis. Alternatively, type square brackets (one of these [)flowers square brackets.

Flowers
MarieDeGournay · 02/02/2024 14:46

Dear DoubleScreens, I have nothing useful to contribute, fortunately lots of other PPs have, I just want to send you huge amounts of support and good wishes in what you're going through, including one of the most outrageous managers in recent history.
I haven't been on MN for long but I gather the done thing is to send a 'bouquet of flowers' emoji in these circumstances, but my attempts to find that emoji have resulted in a spider, a leaf and a downhill skier.. so please just imagine that you're getting a hug and a big bunch of your favourite flowers☺

ArabellaScott · 02/02/2024 14:07

Good lord.

Original poster
DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 14:04

@Ereshkigalangcleg and @GrumpyPanda no it doesn't have jk Rowling on it. She's totally jumped the shark with the transphobia crap

Being gender critical at work, Jk Rowling etc NHs
OP posts:
GrumpyPanda · 02/02/2024 13:57

DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 13:34

Oh the mug is white with gold broomsticks on it saying the 3 broomsticks. It's a le creuset one I just like the mug 🤣

So it's really a HP mug? I assumed you were talking about "I ❤JKR" or similar. Your manager is being ridiculous.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/02/2024 13:54

Does it actually name JK Rowling @DoubleScreens? Or has she jumped to that conclusion herself?

Original poster
DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 13:34

Oh the mug is white with gold broomsticks on it saying the 3 broomsticks. It's a le creuset one I just like the mug 🤣

OP posts:
LondonLass91 · 02/02/2024 13:29

RethinkingLife · 02/02/2024 12:32

It's such a shame there are only six of us and our many socks.

Imagine the power of that one on one conversation or one on small group conversation to everyone who is taking everyone's word for it about JKR and the issues.

Show quote history

This is amazing. Thanks for sharing.

PickAChew · 02/02/2024 13:26

TownGown · 02/02/2024 00:40

Anti-psychotics aren't prescribed lightly. They're generally for things like schizophrenia and paranoia delusions, so I can understand why finding out you're on them would make her anxious.

Ds2 takes antipsychotic medication for tics. I have been prescribed some for vertigo, in the past.

Original poster
DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 13:20

I definitely don't have psychosis. I take them as a mood stabiliser to stop the swinging from euphoria to fuck I want to die

OP posts:
LondonLass91 · 02/02/2024 13:19

Do not engage about these issues again. You must force them to put everything in writing to you. Email HR. Keep records. Every single thing written down and recorded.

Peskysquirrel · 02/02/2024 13:10

That's brilliant @StrongerThanYouTh1nk
The patience of that teacher! Love the way he stays so calm. Not easy to do when surrounded by this stuff.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 02/02/2024 13:07

I would be covertly recording all conversations with the manager on my phone, (unless they include any patient-identifying information). It is legal to do so for personal use.

Though covert recordings are not always admitted into employment tribunals, they can be if they demonstrate that a manger is lying.

nothingcomestonothing · 02/02/2024 13:01

Notamum12345577 · 02/02/2024 12:44

Her question about being safe around you is totally out of order. Trying to force you to put pronouns on your badge is stupid. However, as others have suggested, maybe ditch the mug. You don’t want to give them any reason to accuse you of being discriminatory against a protected characteristic (which being trans is).

'Being trans' is not a protected characteristic. Gender reassignment is, but how you get there from a JKR mug is a stretch beyond most Olympic long jumpers.

MrGHardy · 02/02/2024 12:53

"and homophobic which is so awkward because I'm married to a woman".

That is absolutely hilarious.