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Original poster

Being gender critical at work, Jk Rowling etc NHs

84 replies

DoubleScreens · 01/02/2024 22:23

I can't believe this is even my reality. I work in a very big nhs trust and I have cancer, I already have a thread about my manager asking me if she was safe to be in a room with me after she googled my medication and realised it's an antipsychotic, (it is but I take it for bipolar as a mood stabiliser) then she asked if I was safe to be in work with my mental health conditions Hmm.

ANYWAY! My reason for this thread is that I own this. Up and I use it every day it's on my desk as I like it, and my manager's deputy has decided it's totally inappropriate for me to have this mug as 'Jk Rowling is a terf'

Also she's angry with me because I had to renew my ID badge and I refused to put pronouns on the badge as that is a requirement now, but I think it's ridiculous so I refused and my manager is saying I'm transphobic and homophobic which is so awkward because I'm married to a woman.

I just couldn't believe it, I don't see patients any more because of my cancer treatment, why do I need to put my pronouns on my id badge?

OP posts:
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KeeeeeepDancing · 18/02/2024 22:53

DoubleScreens · 04/02/2024 17:06

I'm so nervous about tomorrow

How did it go?

IwantToRetire · 04/02/2024 23:42

Good luck for tomorrow I am sure you will do fine.

But you may have to use all your patience as though dealing with endlessly self engrossed children who are not only showing off but want you to acknowledge how clever they are!

KeeeeeepDancing · 04/02/2024 21:28

Is this now #mugGate?

dapsnotplimsolls · 04/02/2024 19:33

Make sure you have written down what's happened in as much detail as you can. And take the mug with you.

dunBle · 04/02/2024 19:32

Good luck @DoubleScreens. To be honest, I wouldn't try getting involved in banter with the mugphobe, as there's a danger of them deliberately misinterpreting any innocent comment in the worst possible way if they can go off on one about a simple HP mug.

JanesLittleGirl · 04/02/2024 19:27

DoubleScreens · 04/02/2024 17:06

I'm so nervous about tomorrow

Flowers
PonyPatter44 · 04/02/2024 19:23

It will be fine, @DoubleScreens. You are not doing anything wrong, you've got nothing to be afraid of. I know its intimidating and worrying, but you have lots of support and you are right.

Boiledbeetle · 04/02/2024 19:15

DoubleScreens · 04/02/2024 17:06

I'm so nervous about tomorrow

Have you decided to say anything or not to your manager?

Original poster
DoubleScreens · 04/02/2024 17:06

I'm so nervous about tomorrow

OP posts:
IwantToRetire · 03/02/2024 23:49

freedom to speak up guardian

I never knew there was such a thing.

But this certainly seems better news, as well as having the union represent you.

Really hope all goes well at the meeting.

In the meantime I hope you can switch off from it all and have a good sunday.

SinnerBoy · 03/02/2024 16:59

Well, I'm definitely wishing you best of luck, poor you, being stuck with such a nasty ignoramus.

Original poster
DoubleScreens · 03/02/2024 16:37

Oh and I've spoken to my union rep. I will be supported in all meetings

OP posts:
Original poster
DoubleScreens · 03/02/2024 16:28

A little update. I have spoken to the freedom to speak up guardian, and I have spoken to HR. Sadly both got back to me too late to really do anything yesterday but I've made an appointment to call the freedom to speak up guardian after work.

I've written down a contemporaneous note of what happened in the meeting, how it made me feel, how my managers deputy has ignored me for 3 days after the meeting with the big boss.

I have drafted an email to my manager but I've got an appointment with her on Monday anyway so I might bring it up to her then, or I might just keep quiet about the whole situation.

I've been totally ignored by my deputy manager and she walks off if I talk to her or try and get involved in banter.

Then she also made a comment on Thursday morning which to me indicates that she has been told by the big boss that I have bi polar because out of nowhere on Thursday morning she said she had less debt because she had got on top of her bipolar..

OP posts:
nothingcomestonothing · 03/02/2024 13:32

Notamum12345577 · 03/02/2024 11:02

I miss read what she was saying about the mug, I thought the mug was quoting JKR in some of her GC beliefs. Looks like it is just a Harry Potter mug, yes the manager is being ridiculous!
Trans people don’t just get legal protection if and when they have gender reassignment, ‘being trans’ is a protected characteristic.

Show quote history

'Being trans' is not a protected characteristic under the law. The protected characteristic in the Equality Act is gender reassignment. Gender reassignment under the law doesn't just mean surgery. You may have had inaccurate information from a biassed source.

Dumbo12 · 03/02/2024 12:57

TownGown · 02/02/2024 00:40

Anti-psychotics aren't prescribed lightly. They're generally for things like schizophrenia and paranoia delusions, so I can understand why finding out you're on them would make her anxious.

You are obviously as ill informed as the op's manager. You appear to discriminate on the grounds of mental ill health and do not understand that medication works by reducing and controlling symptoms. Many people live quite "ordinary " lives while using appropriate medication for their mental health conditions. I am horrified by your comment

StrongerThanYouTh1nk · 03/02/2024 12:36

Like others I expected the mug to actually say something bluntly terfy! Now that I’ve seen the mug I would say….

Being gender critical at work, Jk Rowling etc NHs
MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 03/02/2024 12:20

Musicaltheatremum · 03/02/2024 12:05

Occy health had no right to tell her your medical details. All they should have said if she was quizzing them is "she is fit for work" I would be complaining about that

Show quote history

It’s not that clear cut. Typically OH assessments include asking the employee for consent to share relevant info with managers. Otherwise, how could a manager make reasonable adjustments for illness or disability?

Musicaltheatremum · 03/02/2024 12:05

DoubleScreens · 02/02/2024 07:46

No she asked occy health and then questioned me on it. She was adamant I was a risk to staff and her. It feels like I'm going to be managed out if I'm honest

Show quote history

Occy health had no right to tell her your medical details. All they should have said if she was quizzing them is "she is fit for work" I would be complaining about that

SinnerBoy · 03/02/2024 11:39

DoubleScreens

I think that the advice so afar to record each incident and comment is good. How about writing a precis of the earlier incidents, if you can't recall the dates and times, explaining how it started.

Alternatively, type square brackets (one of these [)flowers square brackets.

Flowers

Yay!

But please don't tell my wife I'm sending flowers to other women...

SinnerBoy · 03/02/2024 11:36

LoobyDop · Yesterday 12:39

I’m really sorry this is happening to you, DoubleScreens. I also work in healthcare (private, not NHS) and this morning have lost a gender battle I’ve been fighting for months.

I'm sorry to learn that, it sounds like a complete nightmare.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 03/02/2024 11:23

Trans people don’t just get legal protection if and when they have gender reassignment, ‘being trans’ is a protected characteristic.

"Gender reassignment" isn't necessarily surgery or some sort of permanent change. "Being trans" is not a legal term. The legal term is gender reassignment.

dapsnotplimsolls · 03/02/2024 11:20

I suggest you start collecting evidence and get ready to go to your union. Get as much as you can in writing. I also assumed the mug would say 'I ❤ JKR' or something similar!

Notamum12345577 · 03/02/2024 11:02

nothingcomestonothing · 02/02/2024 13:01

'Being trans' is not a protected characteristic. Gender reassignment is, but how you get there from a JKR mug is a stretch beyond most Olympic long jumpers.

Show quote history

I miss read what she was saying about the mug, I thought the mug was quoting JKR in some of her GC beliefs. Looks like it is just a Harry Potter mug, yes the manager is being ridiculous!
Trans people don’t just get legal protection if and when they have gender reassignment, ‘being trans’ is a protected characteristic.

IwantToRetire · 02/02/2024 16:51

just keep telling them you're remaining impartial re:pronouns for the benefit of your service users. Do they not know it's a very divisive topic for some people

This sounds like a good possibility.

And even send a note to HR saying this is what you feel is appropriate at work, and could they message staff that use of pronouns is a personal choice not a work obligation.

AnnaSewell · 02/02/2024 16:47

I'd advise anyone who is experiencing discrimination at work for expressing beliefs that are perfectly lawful, to consider joining the FSU. Even if you're not a member they may be able to give some general advice.

I won't go into details here, but I found them extremely helpful after I lost some work as a result of my GC beliefs. They helped me through litigation, got me a good lawyer and I ended up with an apology and a settlement.

I am very glad I fought back.