Insistent on they/them

Come on OP, will you tell us what sport, and which country?

I honestly don't understand how the sport is any fun if you're controlled in this way. Walking on eggshells is not a fun sport, in my opinion. Especially not with a side order of 'massive male bodied person could cause significant physical harm'.

Have you seen the testimony of some of the women who have been left with permanent injuries from playing sports with transwomen? The risk really isn't worth it.

We're all transgender though aren't we? I mean I know there's never any definition that makes sense for what being 'trans' is but you can argue everyone is transgender except for possibly the most extreme 'fits stereotypes' men and women. I don't know the Rock and Martha Stewart? Although the Rock is in the arts and Martha Stewart I think was a successful businesswoman so they don't really fit either.

I never wear make up or dresses and don't believe in gender which makes me agender i.e. trans by TRA logic.

Go down to the nearest gym, find the biggest, meanest looking guy you can... we're talking someone twice the size of every other human within 100 miles, and tell him to join your team identifying as a woman.

You'll be surprised how quickly policies get changed :)

If this is true then there’s greater things to worry about than bloody pronouns.

The pro trans take on this request would be ‘Degendering IS Misgendering’

TW and the NBs may well argue this one out between them, saving you the bother.

Especially if the TW on the team are likely to demand she/her for personal validation.

I’d be out of there as soon as they let males into the women’s team to be honest. Mixed sex contact sport sounds like a recipe for disaster.

yes they/them can be confusing if you're unaccustomed to it. Example from a recent conversation with the mum of a they/themmer "J went down to the butchers and they couldn't buy any sausages." What? Why is the butcher buying sausages?

This sounds like the best and safest compromise. Obviously confusing to use the plural when you mean one person, so people will have to keep clarifying who they mean. It hinders communication, but you have to accept that when pandering is more important.

But really, I hope the team can discuss this and have a chance to see if others are prepared to say No if they feel they have enough support.

Tricky situation. Don’t give up the sport you love, OP.

It's not fair that your only opportunity is on this team. I can see why you don't want to give it up. Why should you lose all your sport due to males...

Yeah it's not right...but it's easy to say give up when it's not you giving up. Good luck. I think staying and gentle nudges from the inside with "innocent " questions might also contribute to change.

By calling everyone "they/them" they're misgendering all the "she/her" and "he/him" in the club....

Point that out.

I wouldn't blame the OP. She is just taking her only opportunity to play a sport that she loves. Why should she have to stop? It's the TW who should not be there - they have the option of a male team. It's also the sport governing body that should bite the bullet and sort this out. Sorry you're going through this OP.

By playing alongside them on a woman's team you are aiding and abetting h men playing fancy dress.

Laughter or shocked silence. I find of accompanies by a stern (mummy) stare it works best.

Good for you! May I ask how it went down?

Can't agree. If women aren't prepared to stand up for women the hard earned gains made will continue to be eroded. Never believe it couldn't happen. It can and it is. Just look around the world.

Jesus.

After a lifetime of being called a bitch, slag, whore, cunt and putting up with being groped and that's just for starters ...(by men btw)

Yet some people are so precious and vulnerable to harm they could accuse me of harassment if I genuinely accidentally misgender them.

What a great time to be a woman the vagina kind that is

Sorry OP to derail but I'm so pissed off with this absolute fucking nonsense

Sending you solidarity x

If I was in your shoes, I would be sending an anonymous but specific case-study of my experience to Sex Matters, Fair Play for Women and the sport's governing body.

WTAF??? if trans people are 0.1% of the population, how are there 2 transwomen in one team?
Do they both have GRCs? If not, are they even eligible for your team?
Have there been more, less or the same amount of injuries since they joined?
Have you won more contests?
Have women left the team in greater numbers?
Do you have trouble recruiting players? Has that always been the case?
What are the changing room arrangements?
Have your insurers been notified of the two male-bodied people on your team?
Do you let women competing against you that they will be playing against male-bodied people?

This sounds seriously fucked up.

This is a tricky one. Some protected characteristics apply to everyone (sex, race for example) whereas others only apply to some people (gender reassignment, disability). So it's possible that while misgendering a non-transgender person could be rude but not per se constitute harassment. IANAL, though.

@Alltheprettyseahorses talking about a third person in their presence is not at all unusual - I've seen it frequently in medical situations, at hotel receptions and other places and in casual conversations.

I have been in this situation and just said that compelled speech is bullying. And that I use sex based speech - and will avoid using any at all if someone will have a toddler tantrum if ‘genocided by pronoun’.

I’m too long in the tooth to play silly buggers.

This thread shows what a disaster women's rights are encountering these days. OP, I get that you enjoy this sport but why are you putting up with this shit?!

Which would mean the person expecting universal they/them is breaking the law by harassing the others. And, of course, using opposite sex pronouns is also misgendering.

I'm sorry OP, I'd just find a different sport. The risk of injury is aggravated and the teammates sound tedious. 1 or 2 transwomen on every team seems rather disproportionate too even if they are allowed to play with women.

Yeah my guess too.

It's horrendous. It's such a dangerous sport anyway last thing a womens contact sport needs is a man hip checking women on skates.

It's so 'right on' though it's gone full circle and is no longer a women's sport/ social circle.

I suspect they infiltrated derby as the men love wearing fishnets and hot pants and makeup.

In that situation I would gently explain that sometimes people get it wrong, but that we are all trying.

For an easy life and to carry on doing the sport I'd let this one go. Sure it bleeds femaleness out of language and sets up a culture of shaming but isn't that there already? I think you've lost the space ages ago. Unless you're up for challenging it of course. Would you have allies? Can you afford the stress?

I'm sorry, it sounds like a pile of crap.