Please or to access all these features

Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Gender GP podcast - poor, poor kid

36 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 19/12/2023 15:05

Fighting For Care For My Trans Child - The GenderGP Podcast | Podcast on Spotify

Saw a link to this on Twitter. It's from two years ago, which almost certainly means the poor kid featured is now well established on puberty blockers at the age of 12 or 13. It's about 55 minutes long. Features Dr Helen Webberley, Marianne Oakes, Head of Therapies at Gender GP, and a mother called Lindsay who has a child called Danny. She explains how Danny transitioned at the age of 5. Danny was 10 at the time of the podcast.

Danny is female and Lindsay is keen to get her child onto hormone blockers asap. It's like listening to a mirror version of Susie Green from 20 years earlier. Lindsay explains at length how delighted she was to have a daughter. She bought her child girly clothes, insisted on the child having long hair, tipped off Danny's dad that it looked as if their child would be a lesbian when she was older because she liked boys' games and toys and hated the pretty clothes, etc etc. Not surprisingly, Danny became very upset and angry with the world and at the age of 5 told her Mum that she wasn't a girl, she was a boy.

Now, to most of us, it would be obvious that a child of 5 struggling to make sense of the world has jumped to an erroneous conclusion here. Told repeatedly that all the things she likes are for boys and all the things she hates are for girls, she sees an obvious solution - I'm a boy! What is so desperately sad is that Lindsay thinks Danny is right and when she talks to the SEND co-ordinator at Danny's school she's referred to the Tavistock.

To be fair to the Tavistock, it sounds as Lindsay jumped the gun at this point and socially transitioned Danny immediately, and in the teeth of objections from Danny's dad, who wanted to take things slowly. (They are now divorced.) When they were eventually seen at the Tavistock, after a long wait, caution was advised but it was far too late. Lindsay has 'done the research' and feels she knows far more about what's happening to her child than anyone she sees at the Tavistock. If Lindsay has a background in science and/or health care, she doesn't mention it. Accordingly, I'm amazed that she feels able to say she has fully understood the medical implications of her child transitioning.

Now she's with Gender GP because she can't get puberty blockers through the Tavistock. She's cross because her GP won't administer them because of Dr Webberly being struck off. Imagine the gall of a GP refusing to work with a struck off doctor! Hmm

Danny has ADHD and has been through a family break up. Another couple of markers often seen in cases like this.

I will just add that Marianne's contributions are very useful, not least because of Marianne's voice. Marianne is the one on the left below.

Fighting For Care For My Trans Child

Listen to this episode from The GenderGP Podcast on Spotify. CW: self-harm. This episode contains a single description of self-harm scars from 42.05-42.25.   On this episode of the GenderGP podcast, Marianne and Helen are joined by the mum of a trans...

https://open.spotify.com/episode/27uWIQyYlyp6vm4XrmifPK?si=AR9BnDMiTwuI6HztutRTfQ&nd=1&dlsi=66a003f508dc4647

OP posts:
stealtheatingtunnocks · 20/12/2023 02:50

I’m pretending the kid is ok

literalviolence · 19/12/2023 23:03

My son had a thing for wearing the pink tutu and heels from the dressing up box when he was around 4. Thankfully I am not a massive bigot so I did not see this as anything to think more about. He liked it, he wore it. I didn't care, and still don't, whether he ends up gay, bi or straight. Thankfully, he was not exposed to the kind of regressive nonsense which sees this as something to pathologise including through the trans lens. It would have been abusive for me to make more of it than it was.

Waitingfordoggo · 19/12/2023 22:57

It’s shocking how stupid some parents are. My son was constantly in Disney Princess dresses and cuddling dolls when he was 4. I’m so grateful that no-one in the family saw anything wrong or strange in this. Nobody mocked him or suggested he might be gay. They just saw a little boy who was (very understandably) drawn to the same things his older sister liked as she was quite a big character and he thought she was wonderful!

Christmascountdownpanic · 19/12/2023 22:49

Lottapianos · 19/12/2023 16:08

'tipped off Danny's dad that it looked as if their child would be a lesbian when she was older because she liked boys' games and toys and hated the pretty clothes, etc etc.'

Jesus actual Christ. Are people really seriously this stupid? Or is it just wanting attention and being seen as 'special' at any cost? People who think that they know the sexuality of their very young child really disturb me. Why are you even thinking about it in any serious way? And it's always based on BULLSHIT

People really are this stupid. Children need protection from these parents. Its sad.

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 19/12/2023 22:44

Agree. Don't know if you saw a Mirror(?) post about the Strictly star Layton Williams making it OK for a kid to be his "true self" or some such, and wear a sparkly dress. It filled me with horror because the kid was about five. When my DS was little he used to wear his sister's clothes, because he liked dressing like her. He wore them to Playgroup but had grown out of this by the time he started school. I hate to think what the outcome might have been had he been five now...

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 19/12/2023 22:34

I'm sure they do, but not invariably, and from my understanding very few girls/young women are completely sure about their sexuality until well into puberty, or even beyond. I agree with @Lottapianos that it's inappropriate for parents to be wondering about their children's future sexuality based on their behaviour and emerging personalities when they are tiny children. Just let the kids be kids and do what they like, as long as they're not hurting anyone else, and help them to grasp what's real and what's fantasy.

OP posts:
Thingybob · 19/12/2023 21:24

Lottapianos · 19/12/2023 16:08

'tipped off Danny's dad that it looked as if their child would be a lesbian when she was older because she liked boys' games and toys and hated the pretty clothes, etc etc.'

Jesus actual Christ. Are people really seriously this stupid? Or is it just wanting attention and being seen as 'special' at any cost? People who think that they know the sexuality of their very young child really disturb me. Why are you even thinking about it in any serious way? And it's always based on BULLSHIT

Don't agree and nor do the experts. Gender non conformity i.e. effeminate boys and macho, tomboy girls often grow up to be gay or lesbian.

Lottapianos · 19/12/2023 16:08

'tipped off Danny's dad that it looked as if their child would be a lesbian when she was older because she liked boys' games and toys and hated the pretty clothes, etc etc.'

Jesus actual Christ. Are people really seriously this stupid? Or is it just wanting attention and being seen as 'special' at any cost? People who think that they know the sexuality of their very young child really disturb me. Why are you even thinking about it in any serious way? And it's always based on BULLSHIT

MrsOvertonsWindow · 19/12/2023 16:04

That reminds me of Child J - so many similarities. If you haven't read the judgement (it's from 2016) it's a devastating indictment of what happens to children when a mentally unwell mother gets caught up with an organisation like Mermaids and an ideology that is age inappropriate for children.
Mother lost custody to the estranged father and the child suffered repeated emotional abuse when the authorities followed the dogma instead of safeguarding the child.

https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2016/2430.html

J (A Minor), Re [2016] EWHC 2430 (Fam) (21 October 2016)

https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/Fam/2016/2430.html

mumda · 19/12/2023 15:45

nauticant · 19/12/2023 15:27

Marianne Oakes gives unsurprising image search results.

You're not wrong!

nauticant · 19/12/2023 15:27

Marianne Oakes gives unsurprising image search results.

Swipe left for the next trending thread