School Guidance out Tomorrow

She actually agrees that alot of it is peer influenced and it's a 'pandemic' her words but in front of DD she is very affirming :(

‘HOY kept saying to DD that she might be able to change my views around…’ I would have gone spare at this.

HOY shouldn’t be let a million miles near kids. ‘Mummy doesn’t let you vape/have sex/dye your hair green? Aw diddums, she doesn’t understand you like I do…’

Bit of a misfire really.

They're thinking Execution Register.

I'm thinking a checkable list of whether or not my kid's teacher/guide leader does proper child safeguarding and puts children ahead of their politics would actually be quite useful.

Wow, and well done you! I hope you daughter is OK

Totally normal response from a TRA organisation here.

Yes. It immediately made me see red tbh

But I said in response 'but even if I don't that's OK because people have different opinions on things and just because we don't feel the same does not mean we can't have a good relationship. And you have to respect people's opinions and part of that respect is not trying to change them'

Or something along the lines of...

She was then brought into the room and we talked about it. We talked about the fact that I am GC and the HOY kept saying to DD that she might be able to change my views around it all.

Who the fuck do these people think they are. I'm so impressed you managed this, I doubt I could have handled it as well as you did.

What a shock for you! But you handled it in a way that was obviously needed and talked to your daughter. My teen was in a group about two years ago where out of the seven of them, five had declared trans identities. After about a year, my teen left the group because of the emotional toll of a group of friends with significant mental health issues. It was too hard when my teen had their own issues to deal with. The HOY was great for my teen. However, I have discovered since that it was her who changed the school records for two of the group. The school guidance came too late for some of my teen’s friends unfortunately.

It is great that your dd could discuss it and be honest with you about it.

Oh Christ @Bopk I'm so sorry they did that and well done for sorting them out.

if I was a headteacher I'd be thinking about how my actions would sound to a court.

This with bells on.

Well done @Bopk for behaving like the adult in the room when the school staff apparently couldn't quite manage it. At least they removed the Mermaids link but it's unbelievable it was there in the first place given all the inappropriate staff / trustees they have had. I'm so glad your daughter has you to support her and I hope she's in a much better place now.

Schools cannot arbitrarily remove parental rights.

Whilst it is non-statutory guidance, if I was a headteacher I'd be thinking about how my actions would sound to a court. Because this is inevitably where we'll end up - just as we have done in terms of employment, eventually a school and its teachers will be taken to court over breaking the law. If they can say they did their best to follow the guidance I think that's going to sound a lot better than 'no we just did what we wanted, only listened to the demands of children / activist teachers, and ignored KCSIE and not only the impact on the child in question but also the psychological impact of compelled lies for all the other children'. I'd be considering how my defence would stand up against the polite and calm questions of Ben Cooper KC.

Well done for being able to manage such a considered response @Bopk. Doesn't this show how this ideology can deskill a presumably good HoY (one that your daughter feels she can confide in)?
Hopefully the new guidance and your firm response will get them to reconsider theit position in relation to all this? It does sound as if you'd have grounds for a formal complaint (not suggesting you should).

DD has at least FIVE friends at school that are 'trans/non binary'

It's the 'Emo' of the early 2000s. All my friends and I felt different and we all became little goths/emos to rebel against our parents and they system. I truly believe it's the same thing.

Yes, in the UK.

I was called into school for a meeting with HOY, without DD present and was told that for the last few months DD had been using male pronouns and a male name at school.

It was a difficult situation as I had heavy involvement with HOY due to DD previously disclosing trauma to her, so we've been through alot the last few years.

I was in shock and was also told at the same time that DD was self harming.

In a state of panic I agreed to use the smae name/pronouns at home to 'keep DD safe'

She was then brought into the room and we talked about it. We talked about the fact that I am GC and the HOY kept saying to DD that she might be able to change my views around it all.

I was in utter shock.

Once I got home and had a few days to take it in I talked to DD who said she didn't feel like she was a boy, she just hates her body and feels it would be easier if she was a boy and she prefers dressing in boys clothes rather than dresses (which she's always done)

I told her she can be a woman and be masculine, she has a lesbian aunt who is fully a woman and doesn't conform to feminine stereotypes.

I then wrote a letter to school withdrawing consent of them using male pronouns and that they are not to use any names other than her registered birth certificate name.

I referred them to the new government guidance about NOT changing kids pronouns.

And I also requested the removed the link they had in thir school website to Mermaids 🤢 Which they did.

So very sorry @Bopk. That's why this guidance is needed. Only the courts can remove parental rights and the organisations advising they schools have more power than parents need to be removed from schools pdq.
I hope you've had some support over this?

Just sending flowers, @Bopk
That is just so awful 💐
In the UK?? 😱

Without our knowledge or consent.

My teenage daughter was socially transitioned in school.

It's a highly distressing situation.

Sex Matters have guidance for completing the consultation which is quite helpful:

https://sex-matters.org/posts/updates/responding-to-the-schools-guidance-consultation/?mc_cid=9b8f83458e&mc_eid=266453318a

The article is right that there are some things that need to become statutory for that very reason.

It’s all a waste of time. There isn’t any guidance to ignore anyway. This is just a consultation about potential future guidance.

Agree it's meaningless waffle.

Also agree there's no way the unions will go against this given it cites Cass. But they've a lot of activists who may speak out in a personal capacity.

To me that comes over as meaningless waffle designed to pander to activists. It fails to address a single point from the guidance. It is non statutory and out for consultation so they can legitimately say "wait" .
Everyone can now see the psychological and social harms that the experiment of promoting social transitioning in children is having. Cass, the international reversals of drugs and surgery for children can't be ignored.
The only arguments for insisting that children below the age of consent must be allowed to transition expose all the safeguarding fails at the heart of the ideology so I'd be surprised if they go down that route?

This matters as a teacher reading that in a hurry, and who isn't up to scratch on the whole situation including Cass, could believe that their union has said to dismiss the whole thing.

It is also important to underline that schools do not need to change their current policies at this stage.

Which is also true.

I'm going to do some more digging .

He's also right that the biggest challenge is that CAHMS is horrifically stretched. And the wider picture is that many of these support services are captured too.

I'm want to be clear on the statement that the neu had said to "ignore it" as I don't believe they have. The journalist uses the word 'suggested.'

Others (charities) have outright said challenge and ignore.

Well, it’s true that they don’t need to change at this point, but any school finding itself seriously at odds with the draft guidance should at least be considering how they would amend their policies if need be.

Guidance is obviously just that, but teachers/SLT’s will need to remember that if they choose not to follow it, this would be a factor in the event things go wrong