DD feeling bad after mis-gendering sub teacher.

I'd give her head of year a call and explain what your daughter told you and ask if they can shed any light on what happened.

OP I think Posie said she would go with you to a school meeting about it, as back up if you want.

Thank you Cat, I can use that link to go to that specific tweet. Twitter/X's new settings are so annoying, non-members used to be able to read whole threads etc.

Did that work? If I need to screenshot I will have to wait till after school so my kids can do it for me as I don't know how to...😳

https://twitter.com/ripx4nutmeg/status/1724515109794419178

How did the teacher introduce themselves Ms/Miss Jones or Mr Jones. There is I suppose an expectation that pronouns will then follow suit, but these days that isn’t always a given. And if this teacher still presents in a male way then kids are going to respond accordingly by instinct and their familiarity with picking up cues.

And I certainly wouldn’t tell a girl off for using her spidey senses to know which sex a person is, that sort of innate understanding could save her life one day.

For those of us who aren't on Twitter/X, it would be really helpful if the tweet confirming this information could be linked to or a screenshot posted on the thread.

Thanks in advance. 🙂

🤣

A teacher shouldn’t be snapping at a student for using the wrong title unless it’s being done intentionally to be hurtful.
I remember teachers being called Mum, Dad and the males teachers being called Miss on occasion - it was never a big deal.

No teacher should be putting their validation above a child's wellbeing or the smooth functioning of the school / education.

Most teachers get called all sorts and they don't bother correcting what are obvious mistakes because to do so would be inappropriate and unprofessional. The children are not there as validation tools - that's a safeguarding red flag (when teachers are using children in this way).

In this case, it's unclear if the teacher is imposing non sex-based pronouns. Either way it's unprofessional, but in the case where a teacher is trying to impose non-sex based (standard usage) pronouns it is compelled speech and forcing a political ideology on a child and it should be a sackable offence.

@ImDuranDuran this is getting big on twitter. Great for the cause (because said teacher IS a man) but hoping it doesn't cause any problems for you IRL. We are all here for you.

She did nothing wrong, said person WAS a man. In great news, the wonderful glinner has tweeted this thread in a repost! Get on down to twitter, ladies!

🙄

As the saying goes love, you should never argue with idiots, hence I’m stepping away.

I’m more than happy to leave a thread full of ignorant, frankly nasty, as well as transphobic individuals. Hopefully the OP has taken some good advice from the thread as a whole.

So I guess that's a no on discussing the homophobia of the trans movement then? Flouncing while calling everyone names, how novel.

She shouldn't feel bad. The teacher did not indicate a desire to be addressed using a female title. Although I wonder if your dd might have missed it? Might the person have said "My name is Miss Jones" without saying something like "my pronouns are she/her".

Being gender critical and being transphobic are two completely different things you know. Do you think OP’s daughter should be compelled to deny biology?

@lifeturnsonadime I totally agree but the OP’s DD believes that the teacher is biologically male, was dressed androgynously and had short balding hair. So she potentially didn’t mis-sex “her” but mis-gendered her or mis- pronouned her. Easy mistake to make with 99% of trans women.
Another possibility is that the teacher has recently had chemo and has reached a stage of hair regrowth where she feels confident to go without a wig. But she must be aware that her appearance is androgynous. I don’t think she should be arsy with a pupil that makes that mistake at their first meeting.

Yes of course but it doesn’t sound like the DD intentionally misgendered them.

The teacher may have been quite masculine and her brain just went into autopilot and said ‘sir’ without thinking.

The same way people call teachers mum.
They know they’re not their mum and don’t look like them but sometimes your brain just goes into autopilot.

@Angrymum22 can I just pick up on one thing on your post.

You say it's just 'misgendering them'. I'd phrase that as correctly sexing them.

We shouldn't compel children to correctly gender if that means lying about a persons sex.

And for me it is intentional that I don't see males as women. It harms women if males claim to be women, we lose single sex spaces, sports and prizes etc. These males are NOT women, no matter how convincing their costume is. Womanhood is born and not worn. It's so offensive to women to suggest otherwise, and harmful.

Quoting myself to explain the relevance. Because the room was shared, there were laminated name plates in the room which were adhered to the door via Blu Tack when staff were in. While I was subbing, they were behind the desk.

The one for 'Mx' had a cartoon pic of someone with a beard. I later found out that the kids were supposed to refer to the teacher as 'They'.

Kids automatically refer to kids as they see them. The pupils were using the teacher's preferred title, but the pronouns were a bit much for them.

A phobia is fear based. Women are not frightened of trans women they just don’t accept that they are women. If a trans women is continually mistaken for a man they really need to accept that transition is not enough. Occasionally they are going to have to correct people. If they did this with grace and perhaps a little humour they may not garner such reactions.
I am happy to accept that some men consider themselves to be women and that they choose to dress as women, take hormones and even surgically change their bodies. But they need to understand that not everyone will recognise them as women. It’s not intentional, it’s not hatred or transphobia it is simply misgendering them.
Sexual dimorphism may be subtle but its components are multiple in humans. For example men have thicker wrists than women proportionally. The presence of brow ridges, hairline, pelvis shape, jawline all very subtle but together they add up to male.
It would take an immense amount of surgery to totally feminise a man including chopping a foot off their legs in some cases.

What we should be supporting is that men can be trans women and women can be trans men. But we allow women to retain their unique identity and men theirs.

Why any man would want to be a woman is beyond me. If ever I am reincarnated I want to come back as a neutered ginger Tom cat who lives in a cottage in the country where I can lie by the fire in the winter and bask in the sun in the summer.

It’s an easy mistake to make, sometimes our brains see short hair and instantly think man or vice versa.

Only if you're not able to understand that men can have log hair, and women can have short hair!

I did a supply period in a classroom which was shared by two teachers.

Had only been given the room number, so asked the kids which teacher was scheduled, so that I could find the correct electronic register: "Is it Miss X today?"

A boy answered: "No, this is Mx Y's day. He says we've made him unwell..."

"I remember telling a drunk ‘man’ to get out of the ladies toilet and it was a woman"

😂