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Original poster

Non Binary Gym Changing Rooms

580 replies

NevermindNelson · 13/11/2023 19:09

I’ve just had an email from a gym I use explaining that their changing rooms are going to become gender neutral. I don’t even know where to start to reply. The email states that they’re proud to do this.

I want to reply with the reasons that I’m cancelling my membership, but all I’ve got so far is, “What, seriously?”

Maybe I should just send this - Just under 90 per cent of complaints regarding changing room sexual assaults, voyeurism and harassment are about incidents in unisex facilities. Because they have made the changing rooms unisex, haven’t they?

Edited to correct the term as ‘gender neutral’

OP posts:
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16
Helleofabore · 23/11/2023 09:55

At least you might get a much fuller explanation for what they are doing and the reason why!

Looking forward to the update.

SaffronSpice · 23/11/2023 09:51

Record the call

SelfPortraitWithHagstone · 23/11/2023 09:50

Just posting (unhelpfully, I know!) to wish you luck. Thank you so much for your efforts on this - you won't be the only person at your gym who is raging about this, not by a long chalk. Flowers

Original poster
NevermindNelson · 23/11/2023 09:01

I’m going to need to write an algorithm, so I have anticipated questions and possible answers. I don’t know where to start - I’ll write “Hello” at the top and just keep going I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Datun · 23/11/2023 08:56

NevermindNelson · 23/11/2023 08:51

Quick update - email from the Operations person saying the CEO would like to discuss over a phone call and could I give my availability for a call. No other information in the email, so I have no idea where the call could go.

Wow. That sounds like it might be because they are asking for input from someone who knows something about the issue.

Let them know it's completely legal to exclude all and any men. At all times.

and if they have been told otherwise, they have been misled.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 23/11/2023 08:53

NevermindNelson · 23/11/2023 08:51

Quick update - email from the Operations person saying the CEO would like to discuss over a phone call and could I give my availability for a call. No other information in the email, so I have no idea where the call could go.

Interesting

Original poster
NevermindNelson · 23/11/2023 08:51

Quick update - email from the Operations person saying the CEO would like to discuss over a phone call and could I give my availability for a call. No other information in the email, so I have no idea where the call could go.

OP posts:
MagpiePi · 20/11/2023 14:09

@MrsOvertonsWindow
I’m surprised they weren’t compelled to share tampons and help adjust bra straps for the authentic women’s toilet experience! 🙄

MrsOvertonsWindow · 18/11/2023 19:49

MagpiePi · 18/11/2023 19:31

There was a situation I heard about years ago, when all this was just getting going where a trans woman was given permission to use the women’s toilets at work. The actual women all started using the disabled toilet. The man then apparently complained about this and wanted the women to be forced to use the women’s toilets again.

Show quote history

This reminds me of some time ago a woman working in the civil service posted on here to report how during "trans training" a woman was criticised for walking out of the women's toilets when a transwoman was there. It was made very clear to women civil servants that should they find a male claiming to be a woman in their toilets, changing rooms etc they are required to stay and presumably must use the facilities to ensure full validation of the transwoman.

These are all startling examples of women being seen solely as support humans for males claiming to be women.

MagpiePi · 18/11/2023 19:31

SaffronSpice · 18/11/2023 10:42

I'm beginning to wonder when we're going to get to the point where someone tries to bluntly make the argument that not providing a load of unconsenting women to validate an AGP fetish is 'discrimination'

’Imclusive’ training programmes do often make the point that it is discriminatory if women don’t use the toilets/changing rooms whilst these men are present.

There was a situation I heard about years ago, when all this was just getting going where a trans woman was given permission to use the women’s toilets at work. The actual women all started using the disabled toilet. The man then apparently complained about this and wanted the women to be forced to use the women’s toilets again.

EtiennePalmiere · 18/11/2023 13:21

Now that you have a little more info, I would : don't say you're leaving yet, send the email drafted by previous poster, and sound out the other women- just say in a neutral manner "oh, have you heard about the new policy" and see what they think. If many seem against, club together perhaps with a collectively signed formal letter. If no one else cares, quit the gym and anonymously send to social media and the press.

Thelnebriati · 18/11/2023 12:17

I think they are on dodgy ground as the policy unfairly discriminates against women.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 18/11/2023 12:17

Hearmenow23 · 18/11/2023 12:09

I think there would be more impact if they all queued up to use the reception toilet

And improvised a shower with a bucket.

Hearmenow23 · 18/11/2023 12:09

I think there would be more impact if they all queued up to use the reception toilet

GCAcademic · 18/11/2023 12:05

The women should all go and change in the men’s changing room. You’re less likely to be in a room with creepy, boundary-pushing males than you are in a room that proudly invites men who identify (or, rather, claim to identify) as women into it.

SaffronSpice · 18/11/2023 11:52

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 18/11/2023 11:28

Whilst our changing rooms will be gender neutral, those who identify as male will be expected to use what is usually the male changing rooms, and those who identify as female will be expected to use what is usually the female changing rooms.

So... not 'gender neutral' at all. Mixed sex, but divided by gender. They need to understand the difference - because at the moment they are saying exactly the opposite of what they mean.

A single sex changing area that is genuinely gender neutral (men of all gender identities use the men's, women of all gender identities use the women's) would be fine.

And if a 3rd space is already available, why can't the (no doubt smaller numbers of) people who don't wish to use the correct single sex changing room use that? Make them say it out loud.

This.

They mean the changing rooms are single gender, mixed sex.
Single sex changing rooms are gender neutral.

SaffronSpice · 18/11/2023 11:48

I presume the classes for which the changing rooms become mixed sex are those one individual intends to attend. I wonder if he will change his mind if he finds both the changing room and the class rapidly becomes single sex again…

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 18/11/2023 11:28

Whilst our changing rooms will be gender neutral, those who identify as male will be expected to use what is usually the male changing rooms, and those who identify as female will be expected to use what is usually the female changing rooms.

So... not 'gender neutral' at all. Mixed sex, but divided by gender. They need to understand the difference - because at the moment they are saying exactly the opposite of what they mean.

A single sex changing area that is genuinely gender neutral (men of all gender identities use the men's, women of all gender identities use the women's) would be fine.

And if a 3rd space is already available, why can't the (no doubt smaller numbers of) people who don't wish to use the correct single sex changing room use that? Make them say it out loud.

Original poster
NevermindNelson · 18/11/2023 11:15

Helleofabore · 18/11/2023 10:04

OP do the showers have doors? Or Curtains?

Doors, but with big spaces top and bottom.

OP posts:
Original poster
NevermindNelson · 18/11/2023 11:14

pickledandpuzzled · 18/11/2023 10:33

Are they trying to spin needing more changing space for particular classes that appeal to one sex or the other?

So for a bums and tums class, both rooms will be open to women, and for a [whatever it is only men do] the women’s room will be open to men?

Or is more than one thing available at a time?

There are usually a couple of classes at time, with staggered starts to stop the changing rooms becoming too congested. None of the classes have ever been just for one sex, some classes attract more women.

OP posts:
Original poster
NevermindNelson · 18/11/2023 11:12

Bergamotte · 18/11/2023 10:25

“During this period, we will be making our changing rooms into gender neutral spaces,”

NevermindNelson did the original email state when "this period" is? I mean did they say "Tuesdays 4pm to 7pm our changing rooms will be gender neutral spaces” ?

Or "During Wednesday step aerobics classes our changing rooms will be gender neutral spaces,” and expect you to cross check with a timetable?

Or not explain when "this period" is at all?

Of course, it is absurd and unacceptable in any case. And leaves way too much opportunity for women not to realise their changing room has been designated mixed-sex.

I'm just wondering whether they defined this magical time period at all?

They have scheduled a couple of classes. I’ve checked on the app and these classes aren’t flagged up as gender-neutral, they look exactly the same as all the other classes.

OP posts:
HoneyButterPopcorn · 18/11/2023 11:11

And yet here we are. We have Movember (various mens charities) and ads for testicular cancer (men men men). all good and worthy - and very clear who it’s all about and who is at risk.

Not a squeak from the usual suspects and demands for the word to be replaced with ‘people’.

Original poster
NevermindNelson · 18/11/2023 11:09

It isn’t one person, it’s a company-wide change.

The room in reception is a toilet, just a toilet and sink.

OP posts:
Catsanfan · 18/11/2023 10:59

HoneyButterPopcorn · 18/11/2023 10:56

I have gone back to my gym for clarification - is it single sec or not? Apparently they can’t answer that question and I need to ask the manager. They asked users (I didn’t get asked) and collated responses from women, non binary and ‘other’ users.

'Other' users?! It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.

This starts off funny, then you want to kill someone or cry by the end. Tyler Porter makes me want to break the law

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zwUe7-4-_TY

🎶 In The Ladies! 🎶 (A MrMenno Parody)

If anyone can identify as a woman, then the laws and spaces meant to protect women become meaningless. Who do you think belongs in the ladies? 🤔#InTheLadies...

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zwUe7-4-_TY

HoneyButterPopcorn · 18/11/2023 10:56

I have gone back to my gym for clarification - is it single sec or not? Apparently they can’t answer that question and I need to ask the manager. They asked users (I didn’t get asked) and collated responses from women, non binary and ‘other’ users.

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