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Original poster

Miriam Margoyles on pronouns

158 replies

ArthurbellaScott · 12/11/2023 15:27

'Whatever they want me to say, I'll say it'

Noting Boy George is on the seat with her. A man convicted for false imprisonment and torture.

How Miriam Margolyes Became A Trans Ally | The Graham Norton Show

Miriam Margolyes shares how she changed her mind and learned that respecting people and making them feel accepted is important in life. #GrahamNortonShow #Gr...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXMfSnk06L0

OP posts:
ApocalipstickNow · 12/11/2023 16:46

I’m not sure calling someone what they feel comfortable with then sniggering about it behind their back is going to be acceptable.

Catsanfan · 12/11/2023 16:39

@Maddy70 It would make me uncomfortable to refer to a man as 'she'. Why do his feelings matter more than mine?

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 12/11/2023 16:36

Pip Bunce?

Fizbosshoes · 12/11/2023 16:34

Some people change their pronouns day to day Eddie or Suzy Izzard when they're in boy mode including some bloke who worked for credit suisse who sometimes (but not all the time) pretended to be a woman and won an award meant for women. If I'd met them on Monday as one gender and then as a different one on Wednesday, I'm not sure I could be bothered with that "what would you like me to call you today/tomorrow/next Thursday etc"

LlynTegid · 12/11/2023 16:29

What you call someone (I prefer to use their name not a pronoun) is very different from where they can be or access.

SirChenjins · 12/11/2023 16:27

How far does your willingness to make others feel comfortable extend at @Maddy70? If a white person wanted you to acknowledge they wereblack would you do that? If you were in company and a young girl felt very uncomfortable at pretending a man was a woman would you insist they did or would you ask the man to refrain from pushing the point? If someone you knew wasn’t a professor but insisted they were would you go along with their charade?

OP posts:
Tinysoxxx · 12/11/2023 16:23

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/11/2023 16:15

What if someone wasn't a Dr. Would you call them that if asked @Maddy70 ?

FWIW I think pronouns and toilets aren't the argument. They're a Trojan horse. To make feminists look unreasonable. I'll call anyone anything they want. Not a hill I'll die on.

I would have thought that too until Dd started having seizures. Now all the gender neutral toilets are in vogue it means public life is very much more dangerous for my Dd. if she has a seizure behind a full height door, no one would know. So yes it is my hill now.

Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:22

catduckgoose · 12/11/2023 16:19

What are your thoughts on people without a doctorate identifying into doctor-only spaces?

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Having never come across a doctor only space I could find comment. However I'm fairly sure I wouldn't notice or care

PammieDooveOrangeJoof · 12/11/2023 16:21

I saw another thread about this and Miriam was being called out for actually mis gendering the person she is talking about in the clip, so she got it wrong anyway.

catduckgoose · 12/11/2023 16:19

Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:09

I'm a "Dr" I never use that as I think it's massively pretentious, but lots of my peers do, are they wrong to use that?

It's called being polite. In company, you should always try to make the people you are with comfortable. Who cares what they like to be referred as. Just be nice and civilised

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What are your thoughts on people without a doctorate identifying into doctor-only spaces?

Original poster
ArthurbellaScott · 12/11/2023 16:19

It was actually the phrase 'Whatever they want me to say, I'll say it' that really struck me.

Plus Boy George still apparently totally fine to have on a show, despite his despicable history.

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:19

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/11/2023 16:15

What if someone wasn't a Dr. Would you call them that if asked @Maddy70 ?

FWIW I think pronouns and toilets aren't the argument. They're a Trojan horse. To make feminists look unreasonable. I'll call anyone anything they want. Not a hill I'll die on.

Yes ,(and snigger behind their backs) but yes even though I'd think they were silly.

JanefromLondon1 · 12/11/2023 16:19

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn due to privacy concerns.

TheShellBeach · 12/11/2023 16:16

Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:13

No but the principle is the same

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I don't think it is the same at all.

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 12/11/2023 16:15

It isn't the same at all. For multiple reasons that, as a doctor, I'm sure you're clever enough to work out if you apply yourself.

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/11/2023 16:15

What if someone wasn't a Dr. Would you call them that if asked @Maddy70 ?

FWIW I think pronouns and toilets aren't the argument. They're a Trojan horse. To make feminists look unreasonable. I'll call anyone anything they want. Not a hill I'll die on.

Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:13

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 12/11/2023 16:12

That's not a pronoun, Maddy.

No but the principle is the same

Chersfrozenface · 12/11/2023 16:13

Are people going to be nice and civilised to me when I find it very, very uncomfortable to refer to an obvious biological male as "she"?

Or is it only some special people's comfort that matters?

BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn · 12/11/2023 16:12

That's not a pronoun, Maddy.

Maddy70 · 12/11/2023 16:09

Catsanfan · 12/11/2023 15:59

But if you were in their presence you would say 'you'. We only need pronouns when they're not there so how the hell does that help their feelings?

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I'm a "Dr" I never use that as I think it's massively pretentious, but lots of my peers do, are they wrong to use that?

It's called being polite. In company, you should always try to make the people you are with comfortable. Who cares what they like to be referred as. Just be nice and civilised

pontefractals · 12/11/2023 16:04

DerekFaker · 12/11/2023 15:53

Meh, she's always given me 'not like other girls' vibes. I really don't care what she has to say.

I'm so glad it's not just me.

DeadBugMountainClimber · 12/11/2023 16:04

Unbearable pain in the arse, she is.

SiennaMillar · 12/11/2023 16:03

@DerekFaker totally agree!

IDontHateRainbows · 12/11/2023 16:02

Catsanfan · 12/11/2023 15:59

But if you were in their presence you would say 'you'. We only need pronouns when they're not there so how the hell does that help their feelings?

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I never did quite get this. OK if it's someone you know who may have reason to talk about you to someone else, but shop assistants, people in customer services on the end of the phone etc surely the preferred pronouns are 'you' and 'I'