My 15 year old daughter is going to a sleepover tomorrow night....

🙄
Or maybe they realise this is likely a passing thing, and just letting it play itself out.
Im not sure what immediate danger OP’s daughter is in?

I wouldn’t let her go. She’s too young for this dynamic at a sleepover

if they identify as boys (that’s 3 “boys”) at a sleepover…

I work in an independent school where the kids are veheerrrr much up on the latest. We had quite a few girls identifying as boys over the last 5y or so, but seen them generally move on from it - as usual, when a 'trend' is taken up more widely it is no longer cool at all.

That's a quarter of them! Trouble is with all the Stonewall captured schools, these girls have limited options in changing their minds if they've been socially transitioned for years. It takes mental resilience to admit you've made a mistake and if you're mentally vulnerable in addition......

Most of them will grow out of it, my DD's had several so called teams friends and less than a quarter actually pursued it beyond adopting a non binary name and dressing up. By 18/19 some had returned to their birth gender straight, some continued as gender non conforming and some were out as birth gender but gay. 3 friends have gone through with transition out of more than a dozen

If they consider themselves boys and your dd considers them boys then as a pp has suggested, tell dd she can’t go to a sleepover with boys.

What does dressing as boys mean?

It's all so sad - these lovely young women & girls caught up in a social contagion because nobody's felt able to stop all the trans lobbyists from targeting schools, children's homes, youth services, sport (basically anywhere that children gather) and gaslighting them into believing their bodies are flawed and that drugs and surgery can fix them.

Hopefully as the lawsuits start to happen, these individuals, organisations & those who enabled them in education, health etc will have to pay some major compensation for the damage they have caused to all the mentally vulnerable teenagers caught up in this mess.

@Meeting so you really assume all parents support their “trans” children? My dd identifies as male and calls herself by a male name - we do not support social transition in any way and are doing everything we can to support her underlying mental health issues.

One of my daughters friend was a female to male. The same rules applied as if she had her 14 year old friends that are boys over - no going upstairs and doors stay open. Both respected the rule.

Interestingly once they hit uni they reverted back to female nouns still dressed very similar to when they were a male and now a very proud lesbian. She’s had quite a journey, self harming, very confused. Her family stood by and supported her - the only thing they stood their ground on (& it was bloody hard for them especially during self harming phase) was no medication, till she was at least 18.

One other girl in my daughter’s year group hit 18 and has slowly transitioned during years at uni. They seem a lot happy now as a male. I think eventually they will have removal -

I'm curious how a girl would "dress up as a boy".

Were they wearing something other than a dress or skirt?

I hope they came out of it unscathed by medication and surgery? That’s what’s scary about the current trans phase.

3/5 of her close friendship group is trans? That's extremely high. Surely they can't all be??

DD has come out of this trans phase and so have most of her friends

My position would be "You are not having a sleepover with three boys". And then wait for her to tell me that they are girls. Hold a hard line until she admits reality. She knows that reality and that what she is pretending is that her friends are boys when she knows them to be girls.There are times when you have to be cruel to be kind.

Good one @NuffSaidSam ! 😎

Can i suggest a slight change of wording to nudge towards reality.

No mixed gender sleepovers.

But, Mum, that's not fair.

No, no mixed genders.

But...but....you mean no mixed - <ping goes the lightbulb>

My dds friends went through this from age 11/12. All 3 of them identified as boys, changed their names frequently, got upset if my dd forgot and called them by their 'dead' names even though everyone else also called them by their old names as no one at school or at their homes knew they were trans. She has mild SN and accepts anything they say as gospel truth. They are no longer trans at 13/14 but were lesbians for a while, and are now non binary. I really think they used this stuff to bully her, and others. Kids have always rebelled and always thought they knew everything but generally the rest of society wasn't tripping over itself to encourage them.

I have no advice OP ,am just so glad that my children are in their mid to late 20s and didn’t have all this stuff to navigate when they were that age!

100pc this.

There’s always some rebellion as a teenager. Don’t poke the nest. And definitely don’t ruin your relationship over something like this

That is largely true, but boys are taught (though through a misunderstanding) that masculinity is toxic. I believe that for some more sensitive boys/men that this misunderstanding is part of the thinking that is behind their wish to be a woman. Both transmen and transwomen can be victims of stereotyping. Men can struggle with societal expectations too. I could say a lot more, but I don't want to derail the thread.

Be disinterested, be bored by it, don’t give this your attention and the phase will likely pass if it’s a fad. At the moment the disagreement creates friction, which some teenagers are drawn to in order to create a reaction and separation. It’s an age thing, a teenage developing brain thing, pushing boundaries, trying to eke out an individual identity, bending to peer pressure and the newest fad. Focus on more meaningful positive things and building a good relationship

It would be interesting to see her response to this. I wonder if she would get past a whiny 'but all my friends parents are...'

No sleep overs with boys is the rule. That covers the penis version and the imaginary version.

But in terms of getting her to think and break the hive mind bullshit, getting her to go full terf and admit they are girls and she's indulging in double think wouldn't be a bad thing.

It might also test a few of the other parents resolve too.

Yep. Call her bluff. See how long it is before she decides that they are actually girls.

Because boys aren't taught to hate themselves, hate their bodies and aren't sexually harassed from 11 years old (if they're lucky).

The stereotypical boys are often the ones pushing girls into identifying out of femaleness. Both girls and boys are aware of who has the power. No boy wants to be a girl (barring a lot of trauma) because it's a demotion.