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Original poster

Tired of this already

53 replies

Boundoverbyacat · 06/10/2023 21:55

Since shitty Sunak declared the woman is a woman thing, my socials are full of friends claiming that trans people are under attack and if I don’t publicly declare my support then I am complicit in this.

Except I’m not

People can live their lives how they want, I don’t care what people want to dress like or who they want to be. Crack on. My only line is, if you have a penis, I don’t want you in women only spaces. That’s about it. My level of bigotry.

I don’t understand how it’s ended up amongst my peers that this makes me a transphobic bigot.

Also, I live and work in London, in a ‘trendy’ industry and I have come across ONE real life trans person. It’s a minor issue, not a major war. I can’t, and won’t, change my boundaries to accommodate a tiny tiny minority of people when the negative consequences could be so significant.

I can’t deal with this for another year until the election.

OP posts:
Antst · 06/10/2023 22:38

@AllProperTeaIsTheft, a biological woman is one who has had to deal with the challenges of being a woman since birth.

Gender is a construct (how people identify). So anyone can identify as a woman. However, those who have biological physical characteristics of women do generally have distinct experiences compared to biological men.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 06/10/2023 22:30

Trans women are women, but they are not biological women

What does that mean? What is a woman if not a biological woman?

Antst · 06/10/2023 22:25

I have a similar problem. I genuinely have devoted a lot of my life so far to supporting LGBT people. I understand that there still are dangerous attitudes towards them. They face a lot of discrimination that stops them from living normal lives (getting housing, having families, getting jobs, etc).

However, I'm in a field that's dominated by men, where every single senior position is occupied by a man and the best junior positions are handed by them to other men. I have to work seven days a week just to keep job that pays much less and is much less stable. At one point, my PhD supervisor threatened to fire me if I didn't sleep with him and then he set me back years by passing around nasty rumours. When I was a kid, I had to give up sports at a certain point because there was no funding... And the men/boys I knew got paid-for training and games overseas. I won't continue the list because you get the picture.

At any rate, NOTHING is more man-like, in my opinion, than someone coming into women's spaces and demanding to control them. Trans women are women, but they are not biological women and simply have not had to face the same challenges. In my profession, schemes for supporting women are being dismantled in the name of trans rights and there are no longer toilets for women. Trans women can compete in sports and dominate every single one they're part of. I'm not comfortable talking about my most personal issues even with myself but anyone who doesn't proclaim their identity on their email signature gets the side-eye and is seen as someone not modern enough to be promoted.

I resent this and cannot say a word.

The majority of LGBTQ people are reasonable. It's just a few vocal activists who are responsible for most of this. And frightened/clueless Gen Zers who take advantage of what other women have gone through to get rights for them while helping to dismantle spaces for women. Yet I can't help but disengage from the activities I used to do in supporting LGBTQ rights. The language used about women like JK Rowling is absolutely disgusting and I find I'm getting more and more fed up.