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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Is it even possible to debate the trans-narrative outside MN?

206 replies

HagoftheNorth · 06/10/2023 09:13

I’m regularly astonished (tho I guess not any longer surprised) by the number of organisations trumpeting gender identity as if it were an accepted fact. Most recently in response to Sunak’s statement on the matter; Women’s aid federations declaring their belief that TWAW; Andrew Boff (GLA) on R5 last night declaring that of course people can change gender (not corrected, as Sunak specifically said people can’t change SEX); I’ve heard some people saying that it was illegal for Sunak to make such a statement - again, no pushback.

It makes absolutely no sense to me. Does anyone know of a forum where people are actually prepared to debate this and defend their GI viewpoint?

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Farmageddon · 07/10/2023 10:18

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:09

@popebishop It is obviously not akin to racism. But just because someone is only attracted to one sex doesnt mean they have to hate the other one. It's perfectly fine to have concerns about systems like sports and bathrooms because it is a tricky topic with no good solution that benefits everyone involved. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't treat trans people with respect and understanding even if some problems have arisen in the past

Please show who here has said not to treat trans people with respect and understanding?

Where is the respect and understanding for women and girls who are being pushed out of their rightful spaces?

Respect goes both ways.

ArabellaScott · 07/10/2023 10:16

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:05

Interesting view, I'd like to hear more about this

Either we have some discrimination, such as separated classes for children and adults, say, or male and female changing rooms, or we have no discrimination, and no separations, checks or boundaries at all.

Would you suggest we don't check people's history for jobs where they are working with vulnerable groups? A DBS check discriminates against, say, people with sex offence convictions who apply to work with children.

popebishop · 07/10/2023 10:16

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:09

@popebishop It is obviously not akin to racism. But just because someone is only attracted to one sex doesnt mean they have to hate the other one. It's perfectly fine to have concerns about systems like sports and bathrooms because it is a tricky topic with no good solution that benefits everyone involved. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't treat trans people with respect and understanding even if some problems have arisen in the past

Nothing about hating the other sex, what are you on about? Anyway, you agree with the GC position that being attracted to one sex is ok, and you disagree with Stonewall that it's like racism to do so.

I wasn't clear because you were talking about homophobia being bad but at the same time seeming to support the position that sex is irrelevant, and feeling feminine or masculine should allow you to identify as gay even if you are heterosexual.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/10/2023 10:16

Transitioned from male at birth??? Surely you’re not advocating pre pubescent children being given hormones & surgery 😨

Helleofabore · 07/10/2023 10:15

Signalbox · 07/10/2023 09:59

I think some people see “discrimination” as a necessarily bad thing. It’s drummed into everyone on DEI courses etc that we mustn’t discriminate. But nobody ever educates about lawful discrimination and how it can be put to good or necessary use. It’s a bit of a problem really.

Yes signal. I am always rabbiting on about this.

As most of us know discrimination itself is not a negative thing. It can be positive, nuetral or negative. And even positive discriminate (such as used to select someone for reward) can be negative. And some negative discrimination (such as excluding people who are not transgender from a transgender person’s meeting) can be positive.

Then there is the discussion about whether negative discrimination is legitimate. And that distinction is also often ignored. So, sex segregation is based on discriminating between sexes and done for safeguarding as we know. Safeguarding is a legitimate and positive thing.

Too often lazy language portrays all discrimination as a negative thing and to be avoided. However, this is a falsehood.

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:12

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/10/2023 09:24

And yes exactly on the safeguarding @Helleofabore my DH is lovely & wouldn’t hurt a fly @speenmum Shall we just give him a free pass into all women’s and children’s spaces then? I mean I’ve told you he’s lovely what more do you need?

DH is a man so no. But if it was a wife who had transitioned from male at birth then yes. because trans women are women so can go in women's spaces

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:09

@popebishop It is obviously not akin to racism. But just because someone is only attracted to one sex doesnt mean they have to hate the other one. It's perfectly fine to have concerns about systems like sports and bathrooms because it is a tricky topic with no good solution that benefits everyone involved. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't treat trans people with respect and understanding even if some problems have arisen in the past

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/10/2023 10:08

It’s Chestertons fence isn’t it @Farmageddon ie don’t take a fence down till you know why it was put up

speenmum · 07/10/2023 10:05

Signalbox · 07/10/2023 09:59

I think some people see “discrimination” as a necessarily bad thing. It’s drummed into everyone on DEI courses etc that we mustn’t discriminate. But nobody ever educates about lawful discrimination and how it can be put to good or necessary use. It’s a bit of a problem really.

Interesting view, I'd like to hear more about this

Signalbox · 07/10/2023 09:59

I think some people see “discrimination” as a necessarily bad thing. It’s drummed into everyone on DEI courses etc that we mustn’t discriminate. But nobody ever educates about lawful discrimination and how it can be put to good or necessary use. It’s a bit of a problem really.

Farmageddon · 07/10/2023 09:55

ArabellaScott · 07/10/2023 09:28

Separated 'bathrooms' are indeed a form of discrimination. We are separating people on the basis of their sex class.

Why do you think we have sex segregated spaces?

I know, I can't understand where this idea of 'nothing should ever be segregated because that's mean' has come from. There are absolutely times when we segregate (by age, by sex, by ability) and with good reason to do so - usually safety or fairness.

In everyday life, going about your day at work it ordinarily doesn't matter what sex a person is - until it absolutely does.
Somehow pointing out that women at times need single sex spaces for a good reason has become a radical viewpoint.

Any you know what, when we remove sex segregation, the people who lose out time and time again are women and girls, because those things were put in place to enable women privacy, dignity or a fair shot at competition.

AdrianaLaCerva · 07/10/2023 09:54

I’m taking about it more with friends and family. It’s delicate though - you have to dance around the topic and introduce with care (which in itself is ridiculous and shows how far free speech has been eroded).

Happy to report that each time I’ve brought it up in real life they’ve also had GC views and have also been anxious about sharing them. Same story over and over. Still, we’re all talking about it now…as a pp said, every little helps.

Signalbox · 07/10/2023 09:48

It is an echo chamber, as in it is a place where you ( mostly) all share the same views and expect praise or reinforcements of beliefs whereas anyone dissenting gets accused of being a man, "welcomed" to MN 🙄 or if that doesn't work try to paint as being angry.

God I spend far too much of my time squabbling with other women on Mumsnet to believe this is an echo chamber. Discussions get really quite heated at times on a whole raft of topics. I’ve been accused of arguing in bad faith and not being a proper feminist but so what? I know those things aren’t true and there are always people that think throwing insults on the internet constitutes debate.

But you are right that there is general consensus on here that men aren’t women. Most of us probably also agree that the grass is green, the earth isn’t flat and that spiders exist but if someone rocked up and expected us to seriously debate whether or not these basic facts are true they would get a similar reaction and nobody would be calling Mumsnet an echo chamber for that.

Mumsnet is about the only open forum on the internet where (mostly) women can gather to talk about actual feminism without being berated for being exclusionary of men or banned from the forum so of course we are going to congregate here en masse.

But women who believe that men can be women are not banned from this forum. So long as it is within Mumsnet rules you can argue whatever you like. Some posters are a bit rude and call you a man but so what? I get told I am arguing in bad faith on here and I get called a Nazi TERF elsewhere on the internet but it doesn’t stop me putting my point of view out there or prevent other people reading it if they wish to.

popebishop · 07/10/2023 09:47

speenmum · 07/10/2023 09:04

@popebishop If you want to understand being transgender fully, you are probably best to ask someone who is transgender because I can only speak for the people that I know and not for myself. I am not sure about your point in terms of same-sex attraction, could you clarify it?

Do you think it's ok to be attracted to one sex only, or is this akin to racism?

I can only speak for the people that I know and not for myself.
Do you know what you mean when you use the word "woman"? Or could you try and explain it? You seemed to be getting male/man and female/woman mixed up/ conflated earlier, so I'm trying to understand what you mean when you say it.

Btw i think you're wrong about people's assumptions. There could be no lawbreaking trans people ever and it still would not affect who is and who isn't counted as a woman. That is what people have been objecting to for the past however many years (I've been here about 6).

RedToothBrush · 07/10/2023 09:36

SuperNewMe · 07/10/2023 02:59

I've found the opposite is true. What marks MN out from other forums in which this issue is discussed - and I use this term loosely stopping short of 'debated' - is that the GC position is largely informed, both by real world events, the plain evidence of people's eyes, and an actual knowledge of where the pretentious 'queer theory' came from that underpins GI in the first place.
You don't seem to understand what an echo chamber is - as nothing you've posted there is talking about an echo chamber, despite you saying you find the opposite - then talk about something completely unrelated.
It is an echo chamber, as in it is a place where you ( mostly) all share the same views and expect praise or reinforcements of beliefs whereas anyone dissenting gets accused of being a man, "welcomed" to MN 🙄 or if that doesn't work try to paint as being angry.
An echo chamber of posts.

It might be an echo chamber. However it's acknowledging issues which are still legally relevant.

There's a thread at the moment about the equality act and what it does and doesn't say and the impact of language creep.

When the act was written there was no need to clarify the meaning of the words man and woman because it was universally understood.

The deliberate conflation of gender and sex and redefinition of the word woman (but notably not man) undermines the law and the way it was intended.

This hasn't been helped by the advice of Stonewall which has misrepresented the law and given poor advice (we have a legal case that has actually demonstrated this which a company being found to be discriminatory on the basis of the advice they took from Stonewall).

So this isn't about an echo chamber.

This is about the action and effect of the law. Many threads stem from that singular point of the conflict between The Law and 'Stonewall Law'.

This is something transactivists need to engage with whether they like it or not. They can stay in their echo chambers or it will be brought by women bit by bit to the courts and to the press to put political pressure on parties to sort the fucking mess out.

Rules and actual law reflects public sentiment to a certain degree. Laws which do not have public consent and do not seem to serve justice, are problematic for politicians. The public are just waking up to the injustice to women's sport for example. It's not going down well. And it will continue to go down like a cup of cold sick as awareness that transwomen generally keep their penises contrary to public belief.

There was a deliberate acknowledged strategy to try and get laws passed under the radar without public scrutiny. It's now backfiring.

So saying we are all in an echo chamber here, fundamentally missed the point: it doesn't matter if we are. There is a certain percentage of the population who are non-believers. Non belief is legally allowed. And non-believers have equal rights. Because that's how equality works.

INTERNETEXPL0RER · 07/10/2023 09:34

PaperWalkAndTalk · 06/10/2023 11:18

IRL people are happy to discuss it (in places where they won't be punished for saying so). It's a lot like Putin in Russia, people don't like him but won't say so (to a TV camera, public official etc), it's the same with trans in the UK, people don't like what is happening, but it takes someone brave to raise their head above the parapet.

It's why the media and pollsters are surprised that the general public in reality isn't keen on this stuff (like pronouns, denying biological reality, mixed-sex toilets etc).

This . Like a PP I speak to lots of people about it - trades people, retail workers, estate agents, builders, pensioners and they are all GC.

They don’t have any problem telling the difference between men and women or understanding the risks to women and children of having men in their safe spaces.

So I think it’s a social class divide - it’s only the so called educated or professional classes who are willing to lie until they are blue in the face, because they are understandably scared to tell the truth.

Becuase we all know it’s lies. Your average 5 years old can tell the difference between men and women and most 12 olds could tell you why it’s not safe to have men in women’s prisons or playing women’s rugby.

So it’s just nonsense to pretend that anyone think it’s true. They all know it’s nonsense.

It’s just politically expedient nonsense for the chattering classes.

Even the most full blown TRAs know that men can’t become women. Because they never use transwomen as their surrogates when they buy babies. They don’t even hire transwomen as their cleaners.

Gay men chanting “ TMAM” still don’t date them. Straight men who say TWAW don’t shag them.

Its all luxury opinions. It’s not that they don’t know the risks to women and children , it’s that they don’t care because it doesn’t affect them.

ArabellaScott · 07/10/2023 09:28

speenmum · 07/10/2023 09:11

Separated bathrooms are not discrimination. But people would not shame men on the internet for the same things that transgender people are shamed for
Cis women debating the genuine issue of bathrooms should not turn into people being transphobic for the sake of it

Separated 'bathrooms' are indeed a form of discrimination. We are separating people on the basis of their sex class.

Why do you think we have sex segregated spaces?

Ofcourseshecan · 07/10/2023 09:28

Sorry to be repetitive! Phone refused to quote, then did quote.
but worth repeating.

Ofcourseshecan · 07/10/2023 09:27

Farmageddon · 06/10/2023 10:52

Cattenberg
For example, I wouldn’t dream of going around telling obese people that they’re fat. That would be harassment. But neither should I be compelled to refer to an obese person as “slim”.

I mean, I agree with you, but I think the assumption that all GC feminists want to go round harassing trans people by telling that they're not really female etc. sort of misses the point.

The aim of most GC feminists is not to be mean to a person clearly in distress, most of us don't actually give a shit what people want to call themselves, how they wish to dress etc.

My aim is to keep single sex spaces for women genuinely single sex.
My aim is protect vulnerable children from making life altering decisions about going on hormones and surgery before they are mature enough to understand the consequences.
My aim is to stop schools , hospitals, universities and other public institutions peddling lies about biological reality.

The problem is that these two things have been conflated. Which is why I roll my eyes when people try and be balanced by saying things like 'well I don't agree with men in women's prisons, but well, you know....TWAW, what's the harm?'.
The harm is that these two things are not unconnected. The first thing would not be happening without the second thing. The idea that men could be in women's spaces unchallenged would not have been accepted 30 years ago, so the groundwork of lies had to be laid to enable this. The foundational lie of TWAW is what is supporting men in women's prisons, spaces, sports teams etc. There is a direct connection between these two things.

So it's not really about being mean to trans people, it's about maintaining reality based policies, laws and decisions around public healthcare, spaces and services for women and girls.

The aim of most GC feminists is not to be mean to a person clearly in distress, most of us don't actually give a shit what people want to call themselves, how they wish to dress etc.

My aim is to keep single sex spaces for women genuinely single sex.
My aim is protect vulnerable children from making life altering decisions about going on hormones and surgery before they are mature enough to understand the consequences.*
My aim is to stop schools , hospitals, universities and other public institutions peddling lies about biological reality.

The problem is that these two things have been conflated. Which is why I roll my eyes when people try and be balanced by saying things like 'well I don't agree with men in women's prisons, but well, you know....TWAW, what's the harm?'.

The harm is that these two things are not unconnected. The first thing would not be happening without the second thing. The idea that men could be in women's spaces unchallenged would not have been accepted 30 years ago, so the groundwork of lies had to be laid to enable this.

The foundational lie of TWAW is what is supporting men in women's prisons, spaces, sports teams etc. There is a direct connection between these two things.

So it's not really about being mean to trans people, it's about maintaining reality based policies, laws and decisions around public healthcare, spaces and services for women and girls.

Thanks for expressing this so clearly, Farmageddon

WickedSerious · 07/10/2023 09:26

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/10/2023 09:24

And yes exactly on the safeguarding @Helleofabore my DH is lovely & wouldn’t hurt a fly @speenmum Shall we just give him a free pass into all women’s and children’s spaces then? I mean I’ve told you he’s lovely what more do you need?

My partner's the same,too soft for his own good really.I don't think any woman would want to see his hairy arse in their changing room though.

Helleofabore · 07/10/2023 09:25

speenmum · 07/10/2023 09:10

@ArabellaScott Most people in the GC group label themselves GC. Although now you have mentioned it, you're getting offended by me labelling someone in a certain way....remind you of any other group of people?

Not quite.

The way you are using this term in dehumanising. We are not allowed on this board, and quite rightly, to call trans people ‘the transes’ or just ‘transes’ or something similar. Because it is dehumanising.

That is how you have used the term here. It is offensive and rightfully trans people would complain if people referred to them in that way.

Theeyeballsinthesky · 07/10/2023 09:24

And yes exactly on the safeguarding @Helleofabore my DH is lovely & wouldn’t hurt a fly @speenmum Shall we just give him a free pass into all women’s and children’s spaces then? I mean I’ve told you he’s lovely what more do you need?

newhere24 · 07/10/2023 09:24

No. Hatespeech is frowned upon in most communities.

ArabellaScott · 07/10/2023 09:24

DivingForLove · 07/10/2023 08:27

I work in the public sector and was attending some on like training a couple of weeks ok. The trainer asked us to introduce ourselves in the comments and put our job title and pronouns. There was about 20 of us on the course and not one person mentioned their pronouns. Of course you can’t read too much into that but it felt like a quiet act of rebellion at the time 🤷‍♀️

I think that says quite a lot.

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