The potential impact on women's experience of public spaces day-to-day is enraging. Clearly, in a society in which Sarah must fight for the kind of rights she's being denied, this intangible, immeasurable increase in vigilance across a proportion of the general populace simply isn't going to register as in any way significant. But, when you think about it...
Historically (AKA ten years ago!), any news reports about men in women's spaces would have been few and far between, and founded on an explicit, definitive condemnation of this. Now, there's a good proportion that will be advocating FOR this unless an actual offence was committed (and even then, sometimes!)... And, in part because of the former kind of article, the latter - articles reporting such offences - are becoming more common.
What an insidious effect this must be having on at least some women's perception of public spaces. And some is too many.
I know I'm more wary than I was, and very uncomfortably conscious of the power shift that means that, whereas before I could call out an interloper, now I'd face an invidious choice between getting embroiled in unpleasant politics, or quietly & uncomplainingly leaving.
And just the knowledge that a man being there is more likely than it was before, however unlikely this may still be, also has an effect. There's this subtle increase in tension, in wariness, yes, in vigilance. And in a society in which so much of our movement in public is accompanied by this, the silent cost of losing the relief of a space offering respite from that must be immense.
Most times I contribute to these boards, I'll have had a recent experience of feeling a little unsafe, or feeling the need to adapt my behaviour or body language, in public because of a man. Today, just half an hour ago - an intense stare on a station platform, & the knowledge that, if I didn't overtly avert my eyes & emphasise disinterest, I could be in for an uncomfortable encounter or worse. I'm 40+!!!
I recently said to a lovely male relative how sorry I felt for my little niece growing up in this society, & he responded with a NAMALT. He was doing it to play devil's advocate in an engaging conversation - we enjoy debating - BUT it upset me. It still does.
I've seen a man sweep confidently out of the Ladies' at a large UK airport. His simple confidence in doing that - to him, it meant nothing (and sure, maybe to many women there, it didn't either) - HAS contributed to my increased sense of vigilance in going about my day-to-day life. Because, in the past, I'd have been reassured by a visible reminder of the protective social contract of collective public resistance to him. But, instead, on this occasion, he served to educate me, and other women, in what we've lost: the right to expect a female space to be free of men; the ironically reassuring security of the knowledge that any man in that context almost certainly has bad intentions, replaced by an uncomfortable ambiguity and uncertainty; the right to speak up if I feel unsafe.
These are huge losses.
I won't be the only woman of the 50 or so who watched that man leave those loos on whom he had that effect.
One man. One thoughtless loo trip.
Enraging.
(Edited to tone down swearing - don't usually swear. It just makes me so angry. And to add that, much of the time, I'm not conscious of being more wary, & am certainly not paranoid or restricting my movement. But I think the drivers' hazard perception text is an excellent analogy here. Drivers aren't fearfully expecting a kid behind every car... but in order to navigate safely, they're aware of the possibility. This is why driving can be very tiring. How dare society become complicit in changing women's experience of public space in this way without at the least inviting our input in a debate about this?!)