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Original poster

Asking someone’s pronouns is as important as finding out their name

137 replies

SamW98 · 15/09/2023 16:55

https://metro.co.uk/2023/09/13/talking-about-pronouns-isnt-a-chore-its-like-asking-someones-name-19491080/amp/

No it really isn’t. Does anyone really meet a new person in a social setting and say ‘hi I’m Doris and my pronouns are hee/haw, what’s your name and pronouns?

Talking about pronouns isn't a chore – it's like asking someone's name

Making your pronouns clear is no different than people clarifying that your name is, in fact, just ‘Becca’ and not ‘Rebecca’.

https://metro.co.uk/2023/09/13/talking-about-pronouns-isnt-a-chore-its-like-asking-someones-name-19491080/amp/

OP posts:
ditalini · 15/09/2023 19:06

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 19:02

I'm unreasonably irritated by the whole she/her mantra. Even if you buy into that shit you only need to say "she". We know how grammar works

I’m so glad to see you mention this! I started a thread about it ages ago and nobody else cared.

The aforementioned pronoun wankers have she/her/hers and he/him/his in their email signatures, because they're just THAT much of an ally. One more of an ally than other people.

AngelinaFibres · 15/09/2023 19:04

I hate pronouns and those who wave them about. We have a volunteer at our village community-owned shop. He starts every email with his pronouns. He's 60 something. He is balding and sports a full beard. He has a male name ,is married to a woman ( who never does the pronouns shite) and has 5 children. He's a bloody man. I have no idea why he needs to tell me he's a he/ him. It makes my lips curl whenever I see it written down

JellySaurus · 15/09/2023 19:04

The red/amber/green sociability badges were introduced, and serve a valid purpose, for autistic people, to support them navigating challenging social situations.

More appropriation.

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 19:02

I'm unreasonably irritated by the whole she/her mantra. Even if you buy into that shit you only need to say "she". We know how grammar works

I’m so glad to see you mention this! I started a thread about it ages ago and nobody else cared.

ditalini · 15/09/2023 19:00

I'm unreasonably irritated by the whole she/her mantra. Even if you buy into that shit you only need to say "she". We know how grammar works.

If you're a she/them or a neopet then fair enough I guess, but otherwise be succinct with your pseudo-religious genuflecting.

I was in a meeting with a couple of colleagues last week who are pronoun wankers, and listened to them talk about their non-binary pal he/him/hising all the way. The hypocritical arseholes.

Igneococcus · 15/09/2023 18:59

I had to google ennagram too.
Can we do Myers Briggs types? I'm an ENTP.

Abhannmor · 15/09/2023 18:58

It was star signs in my yoof

belgiumchocolates · 15/09/2023 18:55

Apollo441 · 15/09/2023 17:02

Pronouns are a great way of announcing you are a complete narcissistic bell end and anyone with a brain should avoid you. So they serve a purpose.

I love this😂

viques · 15/09/2023 18:54

StoneWitch · 15/09/2023 18:52

Someone in my office has their enneagram number in their signature 😆

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I googled. I should know better.

StoneWitch · 15/09/2023 18:52

StephanieSuperpowers · 15/09/2023 17:08

It's a bit like announcing your star sign really. Most people are going to be, at best, nonplussed.

Someone in my office has their enneagram number in their signature 😆

viques · 15/09/2023 18:52

Waitwhat23 · 15/09/2023 17:57

There's a video kicking about on Twitter at the moment in which some fuckwit explains, very earnestly, that they use colour coding in their bio to indicate which pronouns they feel like today - purple, pink or blue.

It's just such narcissistic navel gazing. As if anyone else gives a tiny, shiny shit.

I know someone who helped to run a very woke event, filled with people who although they didn’t know each other, cared enough about a very niche activity (which actually relies heavily on open communication skills) to pay good money and spend a weekend doing it in small groups.

As well as name badges and pronoun badges they had to wear a colour code to denote their level of sociability at any time.

red : I don’t want to speak to anyone I don’t already know. Please don’t try to make social overtures to me as I might curl up on the floor and dissolve into a puddle of self pity

amber: I am happy to speak to people I already know, please respond to me if I speak to you because it means you are blessed and I think you are worthy of my attention until someone better comes along.

green: I am happy to speak to people. Do you see dead people too?

I mean, what happened to “ Lovely to meet you, I need to go and find my friend now”

StoneWitch · 15/09/2023 18:50

DustyLee123 · 15/09/2023 16:59

Pronouns actually make me want to stab people. Just fuck off.

Same. Absolute fucking nonsense.

Original poster
SamW98 · 15/09/2023 18:50

Precipice · 15/09/2023 18:24

But does Phil, short for Philippa, need most of her email correspondents to know that she is a woman? Does Phil, short for Philip, need most of his email correspondents to know he is a man? If either sign off as Phil, they're likely to get a response starting with 'Dear Phil' and then responding to the actual text of their email.

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Absolutely no one ever calls me Samantha but I use that as my email signature just so people realise I’m a woman.
I’ve always found it easier than using Sam and constantly being called he in replies - though unlike the special people, being called he on an email didn’t ever make me feel so emotionally drained and demoralised that I had to lie down in a dark room to recover from the trauma.

OP posts:
quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:46

Do random pronouns have specific genders attached to them?
Last time I looked there were >70 genders available, that's a lot of pronouns to play with.

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:44

😁

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:43

Has possibilities. My pronouns are who/me

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:42

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

so Dr Who - mateyboy Tennant hiding in plain sight with his pronouns.

AliOlis · 15/09/2023 18:42

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

Applied equally to all, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:41

(Hmm, "who" is a pronoun, though. Sorry long-ago English teacher...)

HermioneWeasley · 15/09/2023 18:40

Metro is just a trans propaganda machine

OchonAgusOchonOh · 15/09/2023 18:39

WhatapityWapiti · 15/09/2023 18:34

Depends on context I guess. Helpful if you haven’t met Phil and want to copy Phil in to an email to someone else and say “I’m copying Phil as she will be able to help you with finding the document you want”. Obviously not relevant to how well Phil does his or her job. I mean, I get that stating pronouns is bullshit when it’s all about virtue signalling, but just sayin’ that for unisex names or ones from an unfamiliar culture it can sometimes be helpful for entirely collateral reasons. (I have a unisex name. My sex, gender and pronouns all align. But I still like to be referred to by the correct pronoun so it’s quite convenient that the bullshit brigade have given me a way to state what it is).

Edited
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I've never needed to use pronouns in an email like that.

I'd either write "I've cc'd Phil who can best help you" or "the best person to help you is Phil (cc'd)" or similar.

viques · 15/09/2023 18:38

turbonerd · 15/09/2023 17:15

I’d ideally like everyone to also state their weight (in kg for gods sakes), height without shoes, original hair colour and religious faith right off the bat. Favourite colour and whether they eat meat, egg, dairy or if they still consider themselves vegetarians because they only eat chicken and fish a few times a week.

Also if they mind swearing or not, to avoid awkwardness after jokes and such.

Do they object to me dancing my mood daily at 9 am?

Anything I have forgotten now that really shouldn’t be left out?

Middle name, and why, star sign, best celebrity encounter, favourite Friends character.

gyf · 15/09/2023 18:38

I meet, and email about, lots of people I've never met whose names are from a culture I'm not familiar with, so it happens quite often that I have to refer to someone whose sex I don't know. It's really not hard to do it without pronouns. In the example above, "I'm copying Phil who can help you...". I recommend it.

quantumbutterfly · 15/09/2023 18:37

Chipperfish · 15/09/2023 17:05

In my list of importance its after favourite seashanty but before lucky crystal

I'm ambivalent about sea shanties, does that mean I'm cancelled?

Redebs · 15/09/2023 18:36

Hi, I'm Redebs and my pronouns are: Her Majesty/Her Majesty's