Is anyone else finding being gender critical has affected their mental health?

What blows my mind is how herd like and conformist so many people are.
Why is that? I can never get my head around it,

Wouldn't it be more helpful to call stuff out where you see it than to treat every person who believes that biological sex is immutable as if they necessarily condone some random stuff you saw elsewhere?

Lots of people, from all walks of life, believe that sex matters for all sorts of reasons and in all sorts of contexts - it's not like everyone who holds gender critical views has pledged allegiance to go along with whatever "the movement" (whatever that even means) says.

There are some pretty batshit things that gender identity ideologues say and do too - but it doesn't mean they all think like that, does it?

There are shitty people on both sides of the debate as they were shitty before all this, but it doesn't make the views they hold inherently shitty too.

And do you really think that would stop gender devotees using 'cis'. I think not!
TRA is an obviously handy abbreviation for Trans Activist.

You can use 'cis' all you like as far as I'm concerned, but I'll personally never use nor recognise it, myself. Nobody outside of queer circles uses it or relates to it at all.

Also, if you and anyone else are offended by the term "cis" or "cisgender" then maybe you should stop using "TRA"?

@YellowBrickWall, I didn't make any accusations or implications against you personally. However content on Twitter and hate sites such as kiwifarms shows there is a lot of anti-LGBT hate coming from "gender criticals". It's not making your movement look good.

Since Elon Musk took over Twitter it's became even worse, with gender criticals taking photos of transwomen in public without consent, uploading them, sharing them and then making very vile hateful comments on them.

@MerlinsLostMarbles

I don't think anyone has ever been estranged from family or friends just for saying that.

It's all the accusations of grooming, the stalking, the hate, threats etc that gives the gender critical movement a rather bad name.

I categorically did not accuse my son of grooming, stalk him, hate him or threaten him.

I told him that he was free to believe whatever he wanted but that I did not hold the same beliefs. I told him about my concerns for women's rights and how I had held these views all my life. They were not new. They were not because of him. I told him I loved and supported him.

But he still cut me off because I could not agree that he was a woman.

I was happy to believe that he believed he was a woman but that I couldn't share that belief as it's my belief that humans can't change sex.

Many TRAs would call that transphobia, hate speech, far right, accuse me of genocide and call me a nazi. That is what we face when we state simple truth.

It does happen. Maybe you haven't experienced it but I don't think you can make the statement that GC woman are treated badly because of their actions. It's not our actions, it's our beliefs.

I don't believe humans can change sex. That's it. No harassing, no name calling, no shouting or fighting. You claim that someone wouldn't become estranged because of it but they do. And that's why I said you were wrong about this.

We are being gaslighted which affects our mental health and that's what this thread is about.

(I had a thread about my experience about a year ago if you care to look at it. And yes, I am still kindly looking after his cat and storing his stuff for him. Even though he wants nothing to do with me. Go figure.)

This point never gets answered eresh.

The lack of symmetry is very clear and frankly I now laugh at the few posters who try this.

Oh no.... if people calling out behaviour as they see it that does cross social boundaries are giving a movement a 'rather bad name', WTAF does the actual people who ARE doing the grooming, stalking, threats etc and getting convicted do for THEIR movement? Oh yes... they are celebrated.

There is no GC "bad name" amongst the vast vast majority. But I'll contend that maybe amongst some angry Gen Z and their preposterous trans activism, maybe amongst older male activists hiding behind masks, umbrellas and "Suck my lady dick!" and "The only good TERF is a dead TERF" banners, maybe amongst the creme de la creme of pro trans politicians like the female SNP MSP who couldn't say with any great certainly whether she indeed was a woman or not, maybe amongst the new breed of outré online activist breed who is happy to publish a photo of baby on male nipple.

But no-one else, ie not amongst the sane and common sensical vast majority.

No, your comment is more deflection, more both sides-ism, more false equivalency.

It's all the accusations of grooming, the stalking, the hate, threats etc that gives the gender critical movement a rather bad name.

I guess the dubious behaviour, the stalking, the hate, the threats gives the TRA movement a bad name, also, no? Or is it "different" because you agree?

I've just posted on the thread "Sex Equality and Equity Network - Gender crit network for civil servants" about LGBT plus network elections and the miniscule numbers getting behind the "you are all right wing hate groups" tosh.

There's almost half a million civil servants and the trans candidate could only muster about 250 votes for this garbage, and even that number was achieved by doubling up with a joint candidate.

So despite the constant refrain from a couple of posters here, that the majority view in the "community" is that there's a minority of Nazis in hate groups, it seems barely any of the "community" in the civil service voted for that opinion.

If the proportion of believers in the nazi hate groups framing of women's rights is that low in the civil service I would expect it to be similarly tiny outside of the civil service too.

If you find yourself related to or friends of one of these extremists, I would say there's not that many of them so bad luck!

For me, I'm "lucky", I guess. I'm not a woman, have no kids. I have no direct "skin in the game". Yes, I hear stories from the schools my best friends' kids go to, but they're boys, and are only obliquely affected. The women close to me are all GC, but they're less triggered than I am (how ironic).

Where I have to be careful are a couple of nieces and nephews on my girlfriend's side of the family, and one of her sisters who I semi fell out with over Brexit, and don't want to revisit controversy with again.

One niece is likely TWAW in outlook, one nephew lives with someone who has the most Monty Python like take on personal ID. It's not my business to challenge either of them, and we meet so infrequently, and the extended family is so tight, I'll leave it there.

I don't even view it as self censorship, it's just discretion applied.

For me, the damage to my sense of well being from this area is part self inflicted, I've allowed an obsessiveness to creep in. You could even say that my daily multiple posting on MN is a symptom. It's become a preoccupation.

Moreso is how the phenomena is resolving itself. On the plus side, individual triggers are less triggering because of my therapy working (Adam Bryson, Austin Killips, Mika Minio), but the realisation that the grouping I'd always associated myself with (for want of a better phrase, the liberal scientific/artistic/humanist/atheist elites), are now so not in tune with me, and the attendant chilling of free speech, is hard to reconcile.

In any other era, I'd be gagging to vote Labour. To have major doubts over this one area, just sits poorly with me, I can "feel" the disconnect. And I've yet to resolve or reconcile this feeling of disenfranchisement from the world.

Sorry if this is small beer compared to real and present threats that TRA presents to women on the ground.

Yes, OP, I'd be careful - most people in the gender critical movement are encouraged to block anyone who doesn't agree with them on social media, to cut ties from their family if they aren't 100% supportive of them or have any genuine concerns, to pressure organisations to publicly denounce as a nazi anyone who questions their views, to chant mantras that give a false narrative of biology to mess with people's heads, to prevent people with opposing views from debating them in public forums, to shun and denounce everyone who leaves the movement, and so on - it can be very controlling.

Oh, wait...

I read and I listen to inform myself but I try to carry it lightly.
Wider lense podcast has a very good recent episode on this. Something like types of GC people.

Among my friend groups I assume people will get there eventually so I go gently and carefully. Among them are friends whose children identify as trans. When my own child has a brief spate of 'thinking about gender identity', as they seem to be encouraged to do I got the most empathetic support from friends who I knew to be GC and the full on sparkly magical rainbow ones were diabolical. I would want to be that friend who is able to listen and gently explore where appropriate.

@NegevNights that NHS bod needs to take a long hard look in the mirror. When they've done that they should look through a dictionary at words like hypocrit and bigotry. If they've got time, perhaps then check out any book on biology, and how sex always comes in two types and that it is impossible for mammals to change sex.

They'll have had a busy day but perhaps they could find then a few moments to write you a frank and fulsome apology.

I sleep like a baby. I haven't become radicalised by mumsnet or anywhere. My views haven't changed because reality hasn't changed. Men cannot become women, however much they might wish to, however sad it makes them, however much surgery they have, however many wrong sex hormones they take, however they tilt their heads. Joining in their delusion will not change that.

I’ve been thinking for days about what that NHS psychotherapist was saying to me about the importance of ‘acceptance’, before she dismissed me from her care.

Acceptance of what, precisely?

Acceptance that others have different beliefs, fine. But acceptance of the hegemony of one particular belief over my own thoughts, my body, my life? No thanks.

And that’s the trouble with the NHS touting ‘acceptance’. They need to specify what it is that women and girls are being forced to accept. (Spoiler: it’s usually something involving a safeguarding failure.)

I've kinda gathered that everyone always says your entitled to your opinion and it's good to have a healthy debate... until it's not theirs 😂

I worry about the mental health of anyone who believes in this gender fluid bollocks.

We GC people are the sane ones.

They did pass that law, and people are now starting to understand what path that may set us on and are not chuffed. Not at all.

Now they also want to end sex segregation in refuges (from domestic violence). That is hopefully not going to happen.

What is good is that the debate is more Open and less polarised, by and large.
The woman who was fired for stating biological sex is real won her courtcase for unfair dismissal.
The state media is lost, but mainstream media is debating with both/all sides represented. There are articles and tv programmes about detransitioners out.

It hasn’t affected my mental health. But it has clearly affected many young people’s mental health to the point they are harming themselves significantly.
What it does is make me angry that the «helpers» of this ideology push along legislation to «be kind» without thinking it through.
I am sure trans identifying women and men find me hateful because I say you cannot actually change your biological sex. But I cannot help what they think or feel.
They may feel it until they are Blue in the face, it is still impossible.

Then all the fucking stupid shenanigans to «prove» that men are women and vice versa, it is just one huge safeguarding fail and does not put the trans movement in a good light at all.

er, no.

Well you'd be wrong there @MerlinsLostMarbles because simply stating that humans are all either male or female and that they can't change sex is seen as hate and threatening, etc. and is the reason that people shut down discussion and relationships.

That's the problem. That's what this thread is about.

Nothing at all, and I don't think anyone has ever been estranged from family or friends just for saying that.

It's all the accusations of grooming, the stalking, the hate, threats etc that gives the gender critical movement a rather bad name.