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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

7 yo boy wants to wear dress and tights to school

256 replies

TotallyAverage · 25/01/2023 14:22

My DS has not long turned 7. We've always allowed him to choose his clothes and shoes, toys, books etc as much as he is interested so he has occasionally worn pink trainers and sparkly hairbands etc but generally isn't bothered and just wears navy tracksuit bottoms and a Minecraft/super mario t-shirt. Lately he's been pushing more and more to wear dresses and tights especially to school and I'm not sure how best to reply.

We've always tried to teach him that it doesn't matter how he dresses, what his hair looks like, what toys or films he likes, he's a boy and is male. Boys and girls can like anything they want to, there's no such thing as boys toys etc.

We've done this in a fairly gentle way but always been consistent, I've always thought it was the right thing to do. I'm not totally sure now, as he is questioning why he can't wear a dress to school, if it doesn't change who he is. Essentially asking me to put my money where my mouth is!

As a 3, 4, 5 year old at nursery I'd have let him, he had plenty of princess clothes and things he could wear, but to school/beavers etc? I also don't want anyone to make more of it than it is. We're in Scotland and I feel like we have to be extra careful how we discuss sex and gender with the children.

I'm not sure I'm expressing myself very well here, I'm basically trying to say to him dresses are only for girls, but also that he can be who he wants and wear what he wants... I'm in a guddle with it. Maybe I'm overthinking? Any wisdom?!

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TotallyAverage · 25/01/2023 14:29

Practicality for beavers is a good one. I've never paid much attention but I agree joggers or leggings are much more practical!

OP posts:
TotallyAverage · 25/01/2023 14:28

Why can't he wear a dress to school?

This is what I've been pondering myself and I'm feeling mudddled about the answer. Ultimately... I don't want him to. I'm not as open minded as I thought? I don't know.

Beavers is just a jumper but can go over a skirt or dress or trousers.

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PuttingDownRoots · 25/01/2023 14:26

Ask him why.

Beavers... we advise boys and girls to wear shorts or trousers. Skirts aren't really suitable for the activities anymore than wearing one to the swimming pool or playing football.

School... the girls are allowed. So there isn't really a good reason why a boy couldn't. He might soon discover they aren't practical either.

midgetastic · 25/01/2023 14:26

Why can't he wear a dress to school ?

Gcfemale · 25/01/2023 14:25

I would tell him that the school has a uniform and as a boy he is expected wear X, Y and Z and that if he wants to wear anything else outside of school he can.

MichelleScarn · 25/01/2023 14:24

Would he not just accept that X is your uniform for school as is Y for beavers?
Do beavers have a 'female' uniform?

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