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Original poster

7 yo boy wants to wear dress and tights to school

256 replies

TotallyAverage · 25/01/2023 14:22

My DS has not long turned 7. We've always allowed him to choose his clothes and shoes, toys, books etc as much as he is interested so he has occasionally worn pink trainers and sparkly hairbands etc but generally isn't bothered and just wears navy tracksuit bottoms and a Minecraft/super mario t-shirt. Lately he's been pushing more and more to wear dresses and tights especially to school and I'm not sure how best to reply.

We've always tried to teach him that it doesn't matter how he dresses, what his hair looks like, what toys or films he likes, he's a boy and is male. Boys and girls can like anything they want to, there's no such thing as boys toys etc.

We've done this in a fairly gentle way but always been consistent, I've always thought it was the right thing to do. I'm not totally sure now, as he is questioning why he can't wear a dress to school, if it doesn't change who he is. Essentially asking me to put my money where my mouth is!

As a 3, 4, 5 year old at nursery I'd have let him, he had plenty of princess clothes and things he could wear, but to school/beavers etc? I also don't want anyone to make more of it than it is. We're in Scotland and I feel like we have to be extra careful how we discuss sex and gender with the children.

I'm not sure I'm expressing myself very well here, I'm basically trying to say to him dresses are only for girls, but also that he can be who he wants and wear what he wants... I'm in a guddle with it. Maybe I'm overthinking? Any wisdom?!

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Gettingbysomehow · 16/01/2024 14:16

He's 7 years old. He doesn't get to make decisions like this. You are the parent.
My son wanted to stay at home everyday on the PlayStation. I didn't waste my time arguing with him. He went to school.

Ikeameatballlunch · 16/01/2024 14:09

What a lovely update

Original poster
TotallyAverage · 16/01/2024 14:05

Thank you @DadJoke I feel like I'm making a right hash of parenting most of the time.

He didn't wear a dress, we talked about clothes a bit, and about society and make up and hair etc but ultimately he didn't press the issue too hard and it sort of died off as he moved onto the next thing!

I was kind of non-committal but took an interest in his thoughts and then moved along to whether he wanted chips or mash, that sort of thing! It's an issue I still feel quite unsure about. I believe sex is immutable, and that clothes are just clothes. But can I put that into practice if I'm actually pushed? I don't think so.

OP posts:
thirdfiddle · 16/01/2024 14:04

Nice update OP. Lovely he's having fun and being creative.

DadJoke · 16/01/2024 11:54

@TotallyAverage you sound like a great parent! How did you handle it back then? Did he go to school in a dress in the end?

MrsNC1 · 15/01/2024 10:59

Let him wear it, I’m sure by the end of the day he won’t want to wear a dress again.

TheClogLady · 15/01/2024 10:39

He sounds fabulous! 😍

Original poster
TotallyAverage · 15/01/2024 10:36

Hello! Yes a zombie thread. He's fabulous thank you! A lovely kind and gentle wee boy.

He hasn't asked for dresses or skirts lately, he's going through a phase of dressing in a blazer and bow tie at home (James Bond fan) but he knows he can ask me anything and we can have a chat about it. He's very curious about the world and so much more self assured and confident than I was at that age. I wasn't able to speak to my parents very openly and I want his life to be different.

Now just to keep muddling through parenting with him and his sisters for another couple of decades!

OP posts:
TheClogLady · 15/01/2024 10:17

I wonder how it panned out? Any update @TotallyAverage?

Hope your son is still his happy and creative self 🌷

SaffronSpice · 15/01/2024 07:30

AmateurNoun · 15/01/2024 06:43

Zombie thread 🧟‍♀️

Thanks

SaffronSpice · 15/01/2024 07:29

With the trans thing in school there is no way I would allow my son to wear a skirt to school. How much of this ideology has your school already be inculcating into your son? Has he already been told he can choose whether he wants to be a boy or girl? You need to have that conversation with him. Make sure he knows this is impossible whatever stories school may tell.

I would also say no, he has his uniform so you don’t intend to buy any more.

On the point of kilts; you don’t wear these with tights.

TommyNever · 15/01/2024 07:03

AmateurNoun · 15/01/2024 06:43

Zombie thread 🧟‍♀️

Yes I just noticed the dates....

AmateurNoun · 15/01/2024 06:43

Zombie thread 🧟‍♀️

TommyNever · 15/01/2024 06:28

justgotosleepffs · 08/03/2023 21:52

I think something really important to consider if you let him wear a skirt is the potential for indoctrination by trendy teachers /TAs who will believe that wearing a skirt makes him a transgirl, and will encourage him to accept his true self and then accuse you of transphobia if you dont agree with them.

It's not about you being broad-minded, it's about protecting him from harm from others

Yes I think that's the most important consideration. There's already at least one poster in this thread saying "I think your son is trans".... I expect there'd be an avalanche of such "wisdom" if he went to school in a dress.

In an ideal world, kids could wear whatever they like without sexist judgements being passed, but if anything the real world is now even more sexist than it was in my childhood, thanks in large part to trans ideology.

Anna8089 · 15/01/2024 04:05

Brought it on by yourself by the sounds of it. I would say no.

justgotosleepffs · 08/03/2023 21:52

I think something really important to consider if you let him wear a skirt is the potential for indoctrination by trendy teachers /TAs who will believe that wearing a skirt makes him a transgirl, and will encourage him to accept his true self and then accuse you of transphobia if you dont agree with them.

It's not about you being broad-minded, it's about protecting him from harm from others

NatashaDancing · 08/03/2023 21:05

The OP and her family are in Scotland, so if there's one place in the UK where men and boys going to the toilet whilst wearing a skirtlike item of clothing is a pretty normal thing to do, it's there!

Bit of an aside but why do some posters persist with this "everyone in Scotland wears kilts" myth. They really, really don't.

ScrollingLeaves · 08/03/2023 20:48

@drspouse@drspouse

“ScrollingLeaves · Today 18:12
This reply has been withdrawn
We're removing this post as it could be identifying for the poster being discussed.”

I had used your name as it is in the post above to thank you. Did you realise you have used that same name above? You might want to report your post and ask for that to be redacted

StillWeRise · 08/03/2023 20:42

Now then ladies
a man has come and given his diagnosis
lucky we have him and don't have to listen to the opinions of
the childs own mother
a developmental psychologist
many other mothers

Johnnysgirl · 08/03/2023 20:36

ElonsMusky · 08/03/2023 20:29

no of course not. It's the unending and repeated affinity for "girls'"things. He's not going to out grow it. Be in denial if you want. lol.

Show quote history

Op says he wears navy tracksuit bottoms and Minecraft T-shirts. Even she hasn't mentioned "an unending and repeated affinity for girls things", whatever they might be; so just stop your nonsense.

twelly · 08/03/2023 20:34

I think I would explain there is a school uniform and that he needs to wear the school uniform that boys wear - he is a boy and therefore he needs to follow the rules at the school

RoseslnTheHospital · 08/03/2023 20:34

What are "girls things"??

ElonsMusky · 08/03/2023 20:29

Johnnysgirl · 08/03/2023 14:32

Because all a boy has to do is put on a skirt, and he's no longer a boy...
For the love of Christ, stop pedalling this shit, will you? Hmm

Show quote history

no of course not. It's the unending and repeated affinity for "girls'"things. He's not going to out grow it. Be in denial if you want. lol.

ScrollingLeaves · 08/03/2023 18:12

This reply has been withdrawn

We're removing this post as it could be identifying for the poster being discussed.

ScrollingLeaves · 08/03/2023 18:10

drspouse Today 17:59
Drag Queens also read Gender ideology books to children.